Talk:USS Kasaan Bay/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 15:26, 10 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I'll take this one. If you have any queries about my comments feel free to ask.

Duplicated links:

Sister ship in Design and construction and first paragraph of Service history
Operation Dragoon in Design and construction and second paragraph of Service history
Escort carrier in Construction and first paragraph of Service history

The source links for the images File:F6F-5 on cat of USS Kasaan Bay (CVE-69) off France 1944.jpg, File:FM-1 Wildcat takes off from USS Kasaan Bay (CVE-69) 1944.jpg, and File:F6F-5 on cat of USS Kasaan Bay (CVE-69) off France 1944.jpg are broken.
Her service in the US Atlantic Fleet is noted in the service record infobox but not specifically in the main text

Lead

Reference 4 located in lead - the information relating to the location of the bay could easily be moved to the Construction section, removing the need for a reference here.
This lead is quite short for a 2000 word article, a little more operational history here wouldn't go amiss.

Design and description

"the most numerous type of aircraft carriers" > "the most numerous type of aircraft carrier"
Not sure linking a main article here is necessary - might as well link the first mention of Casablanca-class escort carrier instead.
"...in order to replace heavy early war losses" - one supposes that this method was chosen because the replacements could be built quickly, could this be emphasised?
Provide a link for "reciprocating steam engines", it's certainly not a universally understood concept!
"Her compact size necessitated the installment of an aircraft catapult at her bow" - expand on why this was the case?
Link "fore and aft" or change to less nautical terminology
Link "stern"
Regularise the spelling of numbers, e.g. you have "doubled to sixteen" and "for a total of 35 aircraft"

Service history

"arriving on 28 February for overhaul" - what kind of overhaul was this? It seems to have lasted three months and suggests considerable changes
"informed that they were to take part in planned Operation Dragoon" - removed planned, unnecessary word
"raised his flag over Tulagi" - change to something clearer like "...Tulagi became Rear admiral Calvin T. Durgin's flag ship"
" as a part of Task Group 27.7" - does this task group also include Tulagi and Durgin? The next sentence suggests this but it could be made clearer here that Kasaan is not alone/separated
"which now had a wholly new screen" - technical language that needs explaining
Link "longitude"
"the Allied surface forces opened up" > "the Allied surface forces opened fire"
Link "beachheads"
Link "sorties"
"...one of the three remaining Hellcats..." - this suggests that only three Hellcats are still airborne at this point, but the earlier text says only one was actually lost before this.
"found it necessary to grind the lugs of other bombs" - another technical sentence, I've no idea what it means!
"and quieted down somewhat" - remove the somewhat, unnecessary chatty language
"intention of only using them for screening machines" > "intention of only using them as screening machines"?
"There, Captain Albert Noble Perkins took over command of the vessel. In addition, Kasaan Bay was assigned to the United States Pacific Fleet." > "There, Captain Albert Noble Perkins took over command of Kasaan Bay and she was assigned to the United States Pacific Fleet"
"She was decommissioned and mothballed on 31 July 1946, joining the Boston group of the Atlantic Reserve Fleet, on 6 July 1946" - is this correct chronologically?

References look good.

That's all I have for now, give me a ping for any further comments or elaboration! Thanks, Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 15:26, 10 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Pickersgill-Cunliffe: I've addressed your points. Stikkyy t/c 19:45, 10 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'm happy with the majority of your corrections, just a few minor points left:

"found it necessary to grind the bomb suspension lugs of other bombs in order to provide an adequate supply of munitions" - this phrase still doesn't make much sense to me. How does grinding the bomb suspension lugs of other bombs provide an extra supply of munitions? I think I can see what you're aiming to describe here but it needs to be much clearer.
Image placement needs to be slightly adjusted so that the final word of paragraph seven of Service history isn't all on its own.

It depends heavily upon ones' screen size, for me, there's a solid three lines of margin below the image. There really isn't a one size fix all solution with regards to this.

I've added a notes section to make your note appear and remove the cite error message from the page, but the note itself still requires a reference of its own.

Forgot to get rid of it in the lead, I wanted to move it downwards.

The destroyer link needs to be moved to the first appearance (just above)
Atlantic Fleet needs linking in the main text

Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 20:35, 10 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Pickersgill-Cunliffe:

Done Stikkyy t/c 06:25, 11 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Those changes look great. One more query to satisfy; the link to VF-74 doesn't seem to contain any service history, or indeed possibility of such service, on Kasaan Bay. Is this the unit/link you meant it to be? Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 14:57, 11 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Pickersgill-Cunliffe: Yeah. Oddly enough, the source used for the page doesn't seem to include anything in 1944, despite the fact that I would think that it merits inclusion of some sort, but it still does aligns with what I've read. Stikkyy t/c 23:51, 11 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

That certainly is strange! With that clarified I'm happy to pass this article. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 14:11, 12 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]