Talk:Typhoon Cimaron (2006)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 18:54, 7 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Where is the exact quote in the GP report that said Cimaron was one of the strongest Luzon landfalls? I'd also add "the Philippine island of..." before Luzon, since it is the opening sentence.
- Corrected the misleading statement to better match the quote. It's in the first paragraph under the section header "Northwest Pacific Tropical Activity for October" Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:10, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Super Typhoon Cimaron was arguably
the most intense Northwest Pacific tropical cyclone of 2006 and the
most intense to strike the typhoon-plagued Philippine Archipelago since
Super Typhoon Zeb in 1998.

Yea, that's better to be clearer. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:17, 3 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"developed within an environment strongly favoring tropical cyclogenesis west of the Philippines" - I'm sure you mean east here, unless conditions were favorable west of there and shifted eastward? (I'm typing this as I go)
- Meant east, I just can't compass. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:10, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"culminating in it attaining" - since this is a gerund phrase, you can get rid of "it", which should make the writing smoother.
- Done. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:10, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Did EM-DAT give any final info on the status of the missing? BTW, Guy Carpenter did a review of the storm. Not sure if there's any more info there.
- EM-DAT lists 34 fatalities for Cimaron (but from past experience I've found that they include missing persons as well and never differentiate). Personally, I would opt out of using it. Added two tidbits from Guy Carp. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:45, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - 34 would be higher than the current fatality total. That might be more legit than just having the missing people from a storm 7 years ago. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:17, 3 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"In Vietnam, the storm was initially expected to strike the nation and plans to evacuate approximately 218,000 people were put in place" - this could be cleaner
- Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:10, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Winds along the periphery of Cimaron fanned a large wildfire near Hong Kong and moisture from it fueled record-breaking rains in British Columbia, Canada" - a comma would be helpful, since Hong Kong and BC are pretty far away.
- Done Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:10, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Following a request for international assistance in early December" - wasn't this due to Durian? (which should be mentioned somewhere in the lede)
- It was due to four typhoons. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:10, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Why is " a Tropical Cyclone Formation Alert" capitalized?
- That's how the article has it, so I've just followed that. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:10, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
You gloss over some details. When did Cimaron become a typhoon?
- Added Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:25, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"(285 km/h (180 mph))" - I don't think the double parenthesis works
- Changed to commas Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:25, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I gotta ask, but how did Cimaron intensify so much? Did you find any advisories for the storm? I think Unisys archives go back that far.
- Sadly Unisys doesn't have the prognostic reasonings so details on the intensification have been lost :( I don't know of any other archive that would have them. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:25, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
You should indicate the date and time when the storm hit Luzon.
- Added Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:25, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"a weakness developed within the ridge previously steering the typhoon and Cimaron briefly turned north before essentially stalling" - commas are friends, not food
- Added a fishy Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:25, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo urged residents to heed warnings and not to venture out during the storm during a national radio broadcast." - I would put the "during a national radio broadcast" first, since right now it implies that the president advised the people not to venture out during the broadcast. :P
- The world's a scary place when presidents are speaking, you know :P Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:25, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"All hospitals in Cimaron's projected path" - really? Every last one of them?
- Maybe except for the one on the street corner? Removed "all" to be safe. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:25, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Did Cimaron affect the capital city of Manila?
- There wasn't mention of the city in the reports I saw. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:25, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Though the storm remained over open waters" - except for Philippines
- Specified after entering the South China Sea. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:25, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"the Philippines was devastated" - was or were?
- Refers to the nation as a whole rather than the geographic Philippines, so "was" is appropriate here. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:29, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" In light of this" - I don't think "light" is appropriate
- Changed to "consequently" Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:29, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Why the link to tropical cyclone records?
- Felt appropriate considering its intensity. Should I remove it? Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:29, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Yea, only because it didn't set a record. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:17, 3 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

All in all, pretty good article. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:54, 7 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry for the extremely long delay in responding... Procrastination + distractions = no work :) Thanks for the review Hink!! I've replied to all of the comments now. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:45, 2 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]