Talk:Typhoon Brian (1989)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 02:40, 25 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

In the opening line, where in the series was Brian?
- First. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
The second sentence should say when it became a TS
- Added Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
The last two sentences in the first lede paragraph have similar structures. Could you avoid the [Gerund clause, "the storm [verb]"... before] format.
- Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
So the ridge weakened and re-intensified on September 30th?
- Yup Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Somewhere you should indicate whether JTWC winds were 1-min or 10-min.
- added it into the parentheses Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
When did Brian strike Vietnam? The wording is ambiguous whether the 3rd or 4th. An exact time would be good, since landfalls are important.
- Clarified Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Similar to problem in lede, avoid two paragraphs starting with "Striking"
- Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
were "soaked." - why the quotes? Who said it? And why is it important?
- I don't know why I quoted it to be honest.... Removed the quotes. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"In light of the widespread damage caused by the storms" - I'd hardly say it was "In light" of something. "Because of" would be a much better phrase, IMO.
- Changed to "Because of" Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The article is decent. Some sentences are a little clunky, and many could be combined, but I won't be that anal. Fix these and I'll be happy to pass. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:04, 25 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]