Talk:Typhoon Agnes (1984)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 05:01, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"The storm rapidly deteriorated over land, and dissipated by November 8 over Thailand." - Nay comma.
- Sure. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Provincewide, a total of 21 homes were flattened, resulting in 1,326 homeless" - 1,326 homeless unicorns?
- Sure. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Approximately 20% of rice crop were destroyed in Iloilo." - Approximately 20% of the rice crop was destroyed in Iloilo.
- Sure. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"In the Capiz province, 265 people died, and property damage amounted $25 million (1984 USD)." - Nay second comma.
- Sure. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Throughout Panay Island, 448 fatalities were reported, at least eight people were injured, five bridges were destroyed, and 35 schools were demolished." - Need numbered consistency. (there are other instances too, fix those)
- Good call. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"consequently, over 24,000 people were homeless." - were left homeless.
- Think this is unnecessary, but whatever. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"with the Japan Meteorological Agency (JMA) upgrading the system to a tropical depression on the same day.[3][nb 1]" - Notes before references.
- Where did you learn this, BTW? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Although Agnes initially continued to track northwest,[1] passing through the Caroline Islands,[7] by the evening of November 1, Agnes moved northward enough to feel the effects of a subtropical ridge anchored to its north, causing the storm to turn west-northwest." - There is a lot going on here.
- Oh, I think I intended to put a period here. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Meanwhile, the JTWC elevated the intensity to 185 km/h (115 mph), which would make it an upper-end Category 3 hurricane on the United States-based Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Wind Scale (SSHWS)." - No it wouldn't.
- Think I was looking at the wrong line here. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Approximately 20% of rice crop were destroyed," - Change like above.
- Sure. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Most of Roxas, population 100,000, was underwater due to the storm." - If we wanted population we'd go to its article.
- I don't see the harm in mentioning it. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"When Typhoon Agnes made landfall on Vietnam three days it struck the Philippines," - Missing a word.
- Added. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"the typhoon dropped torrential rains that caused flooding, which severely affected the rice harvest and winter crop cultivation." - The typhoon produced torrential rains and flooding that severely affected the rice harvest and winter crop cultivation.
- If you really want, I'll change it but I really like the sentence as is. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"The Nam Định Province was the worst affected by the typhoon. There, the typhoon killed 134 people and 289 others were wounded." - Change there to where and combine the sentences. It's getting repetitive.
- In this instance, I think it's a great call. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"There, five helicopters were dispatched to rescue victims, many of whom climbed to rooftops for safety." - What I just said.
- Previous sentence already has a "where" and the bits after "where" and "there" are totally different, so it doesn't make sense to combine them sadly unless I can think of something clever, which given the time of night, seems more likely that I'll just fall asleep on my precious laptop. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"The Philippines Navy sent a "floating hospital" to treat villagers in remote coastal areas." - A what??
- Probably some kind of mobile hospital, but I don't have a wikilink. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"They also provided 163 t (163,000 kg) of food, medicine and clothing." - You just said they provided food. Put those figures in the previous sentence.
- Oh, great call. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"The Catholic Relief Services donated $65000," - Comma for 65,000.
- Idk how I missed this, but added. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"The Vietnamese government agreed to provide 20,000 short tons (18,145 t) of rice, although asked for foreign assistance to provided the remaining 30,800 short tons (27,940 t)." - Huh?
- Re-worded. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

That's all. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contributions) 05:01, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Ok thanks but slow down the GA reviewing a bit :P Do you want to tell you peers all you did this summer was review wikipedia articles written by some dorky guy from Nevada who you don't know IRL. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]