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Talk:Two Point Hospital/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Megaman en m (talk · contribs) 16:38, 4 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]


GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·

Seems like you've been waiting about five months, it's about time that someone starts the review isn't it? Haven't played the game myself, but I should be done in under five days.--Megaman en m (talk) 16:38, 4 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • the "designed and developed by" part should be its own paragraph, rather than having one big paragraph and one small one.
  •  Done "...tasked with constructing and operating a hospital (and, by extension, an empire of hospitals in the fictional Two Point County, where the game is set) with the goal of..." Too much information in the parentheses. Can the setting of the game be established outside the parentheses?--Megaman en m (talk) 18:37, 4 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "Two Point Hospital was released to a positive reception from critics, who acclaimed it for its style, humour and its faithfulness to Theme Hospital's aesthetics, but the game was criticised for its repetitiveness and lack of challenge." Bit hard to read, I'd recommend either adding semicolons as per MOS:SEMICOLON, or splitting it up.--Megaman en m (talk) 18:37, 4 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
No hard sales figures, but I can't find a reliable source of it either. It being the second most downloaded game will have to do.--Megaman en m (talk) 20:40, 4 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Gameplay

  •  Done All-encompassing note: The focus of this section seems a bit off, the paragraphs don't seem to be written around a theme. The first paragraph is about what the game is about and some conditions, the second one is about patient behavior; reputation; awards; and amount of hospitals, the third is about new game mechanics (at least I think that's what the whole paragraph is about), the fourth is about new game mechanics (again), which seems like they should've been mentioned earlier; and the last one is about online features and updates. I think a lot of should be trimmed down, especially the third paragraph. The first paragraph could probably get by with just mentioning one or two of the conditions.
Went and tried fixing it myself, it's a lot more structured now.--Megaman en m (talk) 17:30, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "From time to time, emergencies (an influx of patients with a specific disease) can occur." Is that the only emergency that can happen? If so, just mention the influx of patients.--Megaman en m (talk) 18:37, 4 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remark: It mentions that "Otherwise, the player's reputation is tarnished" before it actually mentions the reputation system. I'd describe this system before that sentence.--Megaman en m (talk) 18:37, 4 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Changed it to "given".--Megaman en m (talk) 15:46, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Removed the exact amount of hospitals due to DCL constantly adding more of them.--Megaman en m (talk) 16:29, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "...and unlike Theme Hospital, researched rooms and upgrades are available throughout the empire (they do not have to be re-researched in each hospital).[22] Machines upgrades are performed by trained janitors." I'd remove both these sentences, seems like it reaching the point of too much information for an encyclopedia.--Megaman en m (talk) 18:37, 4 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I de-capitalized them all, they're general concepts, not proper nouns.--Megaman en m (talk) 16:29, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "Each hospital has a set of objectives, including the curing of a set number of patients, an increase of the hospital's value, the earning of a fixed sum of money, and an increase of the hospital's level that eventually increases the hospital's Star Rating." This whole section seems unsourced, plus it goes into too many details.--Megaman en m (talk) 18:37, 4 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "If the player moves on, (s)he can return to the hospital at anytime. Once a three-star rating is awarded, players can continue running the current hospital" Too much info, cut it.--Megaman en m (talk) 18:37, 4 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Development

  •  Done"Among those involved in the development of both games were Theme Hospital's producer Mark Webley, its lead artist Gary Carr,[36]" The source doesn't state that Gary Carr is the lead artist, just a developer.--Megaman en m (talk) 13:11, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The source is acceptable.--Megaman en m (talk) 15:46, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "In 2016 (Carr said that they had to postpone their ambition of continuing the Theme series for 20 years after they left Bullfrog), they founded Two Point Studios to follow up on Theme Hospital." Incorporate the parenthetical sentence better, it's hard to read here.--Megaman en m (talk) 13:11, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "The game was developed by envisioning fictional symptoms, often based on word play, and the means for the player to cure them, and determining which ones most attracted the attention of the development team." Too long and confusing.--Megaman en m (talk) 13:11, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "an approach Webley and Carr took from ghosts that..." ghosts does have the proper wikilink, but it should also be explained in the article itself for accessibility.--Megaman en m (talk) 13:11, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "they also spoke to Playtonic Games, which had used Kickstarter to revive a 1990s property Banjo-Kazooie for Yooka-Laylee" Doesn't seem relevant, as it doesn't discuss what they actually talked about or how it relates to them producing the game.--Megaman en m (talk) 13:11, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "According to Smart, the ailments were developed backwards; someone would decide that they wanted something and the team worked from that, or that they worked on them from "terrible puns"." I don't see how this is "backwards"; sentence could be simplified.--Megaman en m (talk) 13:11, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Sound

  •  Done General note: Like the gameplay section, there is problem with focus. It's reads more like a collection of facts rather than a logical continuation of the previous sentence. I should get a feel for the whole paragraph just by reading the first sentence. You could also go nuclear, reduce the whole section to one paragraph and incorporate it into the development section (after all, I don't think the music is that important in this game to begin with). Both options would be viable I think.--Megaman en m (talk) 13:41, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I went ahead and tried improving this section myself. I've grouped together similar topics (like the creative use of sounds) into their own paragraph. Also did some other minor improvements.--Megaman en m (talk) 14:05, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The YouTube sources are not a problem.--Megaman en m (talk) 15:46, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • remark: "using an Audient ASP880 pre-amplifier" This is just me being ignorant, but I don't know what a pre-amplifier is. Maybe it could be described in the article. Later you have the line "The ASP880 facilitated the conversion of the two-channel setup into a 10-channel setup.", which again, I don't understand.--Megaman en m (talk) 13:41, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "Their original intention was to create all the sound effects themselves and not use any samples, but they changed their minds when they saw the machines in the game." How did the "machines" make them use samples? No logical cause-effect relation here.--Megaman en m (talk) 13:46, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Looking back at it, this means that when they saw the design for the machines that cure diseases, they needed to use samples for the sounds. This problem will be solved once the article explains what the machines actually do.--Megaman en m (talk) 17:53, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The quoted part of the sentence was removed, but I'm still not sure what they mean by "re-hauled".--Megaman en m (talk) 15:40, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "The DJ voice was created by Puttick along with voice actor Marc Silk at his studio; Puttick was also responsible for the creation of the public address voice whereas Silk recorded the radio advertisements. Due to the presence of a radio DJ, Two Point Studios didn't want the songs to have any vocals.[52] Singer Sophie Worsley was hired to sing the lyrics sung by the game's popstar." I know that I edited it to look like this, but it says that the songs don't have vocals... immediately followed by listing the singer who did the lyrics of the vocals. Maybe they're both true, but the current way it's written makes it look very contradictory.--Megaman en m (talk) 14:05, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    Megaman en m, Yeah, I can see how that can be confusing. The game's soundtrack does not have vocals, but I think some of the radio's advertisements feature a popstar and do have vocals (I know at least one of them does briefly feature vocals). Adam9007 (talk) 13:58, 7 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Release

  •  Done "few months later an hour-long gameplay demo that included information about the release was available during E3 2018." Can't find anything in the source mentioning E3 or a release date.
  • Well, it's not an hour long for starters. The sentence's only notability seems to be that this was talked about on E3, I could do away with the whole sentence to be honest.--Megaman en m (talk) 14:25, 7 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

  •  Done The whole first two paragraphs consist of the reviewers comparing it to Theme Hospital. The third paragraph, again, focuses mostly on one topic: the humor. While these are important aspects, there really shouldn't be more than two or three reviewers quoted stating the exact same sentiment. Can you trim these three paragraphs down and include more opinions on various aspects of the gameplay? The fourth paragraph is the only one to do this and it's too short for how important the gameplay is. --Megaman en m (talk) 17:08, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    Section has been improved, but could be better. I'd continue to cut down on some of the praise of the nostalgia and humor and replace it with more varied critique. For example:
  1. reviewers' thoughts on the graphics and animations (gamespot: The exaggerated, cartoon look and relaxed approach to management make it inviting enough for most players), (gameinformer: "Characters and animations have an exaggerated Aardman Animations influence that adds to the slapstick humor"), (jeuxvideo: "Les nombreuses animations hilarantes" (the multiple hilarious animations)) and (bit-tech: "The clean, claymation-like aesthetic perfectly encapsulates this light-hearted tone. But it’s the character animations that stand out above all. The detail is truly remarkable, with bespoke animations for almost every action in the game, all of which are laced with Two Point’s daft humour.")
  2. explain the repetition as being caused by having to rebuild the hospital each time you move somewhere new (see gameinformer: "While I loved playing interior decorator, I quickly grew tired of doing it over and over again. Each time you move to a new location in Two Point County, you have to rebuild your hospital again from the ground up."
  3. good learning curve: (gamerevolution: "Two Point Hospital guided me across a gentle learning curve before leaving me to succeed or fail on my own two feet."), (gamesradar: "The hospitals themselves get steadily more complicated, but the learning curve is just right") and (ign: "Maybe the biggest reason I had such a good time with Two Point Hospital, though, was that it does such a good job of making you aware of potentially non-obvious problems and offering advice on how to fix them.")
  4. sound: (shacknews: "The sound effects are pretty amazing as well and help sell the light-hearted nature of the onscreen action.")

I'm obviously not saying you have to add all of these, these are just suggestions to give you a guideline.--Megaman en m (talk) 14:41, 7 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

  • This section is also getting kind of massive, try to bundle together common thought, no need to directly quote four or more reviewers when talking about the game's nostalgia or humor.--Megaman en m (talk) 14:47, 7 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "Shacknews's Chris Jarrard compared the game's "outstanding" radio station to SimCity 2000's (which he described as "nonsensical") news system." The reviewer said the genre was "nonsensical", not SimCity 2000's news system.--Megaman en m (talk) 17:08, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "José Cabrera of IGN Spain was positive about gameplay but critiqued its lack of challenge (an opinion shared by Tamburro)" Tamburro didn't specifically critique the lack of challenge, rather he talked about a "lack of spontaneity".--Megaman en m (talk) 17:08, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done "Other criticisms include the game basics being too similar to those of Theme Hospital,[73] repetition,[73] the lack of an ability to copy rooms,[7] and the lack of a sandbox mode.[14]" This should be expanded. The game does indeed have a positive reception, but not overwhelmingly enough to warrant dedicating four paragraphs to praise and put all the critique in a single-sentence paragraph.--Megaman en m (talk) 17:30, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Ending remark:

All that's left to do is resolve the NPOV problem of the positive-to-negative review ratio and fix the more minor mistakes.--Megaman en m (talk) 17:30, 6 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Passed GA

I passed the article, good job! I'd still say that it relies too much on direct quotation and that the prose could still use work, but that's entering WP:FA territory.--Megaman en m (talk) 07:01, 8 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

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