Talk:Turning Point (2007 wrestling)/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: MathewTownsend (talk · contribs) 01:04, 23 December 2011 (UTC)
ok, I will review this article. It is very long and complex so it may take me a while. MathewTownsend (talk) 01:04, 23 December 2011 (UTC)
- Okay, I look forward to the review.--WillC 06:31, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- Lede
- "Johnny Devine and Team 3D (Brother Devon and Brother Ray) versus Jay Lethal and The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin) in a Six Man Tag Team Tables Match and Abyss and Raven versus Black Reign and Rellik in a Match of 10,000 Tacks were also featured on the card." - sentence too long and complex
- Split up--WillC 21:36, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- "The event is remembered for Scott Hall no-showing the event - "no-showing" is too casual for an encyclopedia
- "and Samoa Joe delivering a unscripted rant against the company and several wrestlers in the promotion" -
- Suggestion: for Scott Hall's failure to show up for the event and and for Samoa Joe's unscripted rant...
- Did suggestion.--WillC 21:36, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- "Johnny Devine and Team 3D (Brother Devon and Brother Ray) versus Jay Lethal and The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin) in a Six Man Tag Team Tables Match and Abyss and Raven versus Black Reign and Rellik in a Match of 10,000 Tacks were also featured on the card." - sentence too long and complex
- Background
- "The fourth Turning Point event was announced in mid-September 2007 as to be taking place on December 2, 2007" - [Who?] announced ... the fourth Turing Point event would take place on .... (avoid passive voice)
- "The location was not announced, but it was speculated that" - who speculated? (passive voice)
- "However in mid-October, it was revealed that the event would be" - passive voice - who revealed it?
- Storylines
- "Joe went on to be revealed as their choice later during the episode." - needs better wording and who is Joe? (reader can't always keep track of all these names)
- Rewrote, Joe was shown in the previous sentence.--WillC 21:36, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- Build - The build up? (also, passive voice - who revealed)
- when Nash questioned Hall on whether he was - questioned Hall if
- Build to this encounter began on the November 8 episode of Impact!, when Nash questioned Hall on whether he was Sting's mystery partner in a tag team match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship against Nash and Angle at TNA's Genesis PPV event on November 11. - too long and complicated.
- Cut down--WillC 21:36, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- "which led to Kaz coming to his aid in the situation." - which led Kaz to come to his aid
- "Joe went on to be revealed as their choice later during the episode." - needs better wording and who is Joe? (reader can't always keep track of all these names)
- "On the October 18 episode of Impact!, Team 3D attacked MCMG and declared they were going to destroy the X Division to which they belonged as a result of MCMG helping The Steiner Brothers (Rick and Scott Steiner) defeat Team 3D at TNA's Bound for Glory PPV event on October 14" - clarify and simplify - maybe should be two sentences.
- "with the rules being there were four cases which hung above four padded turnbuckles, three holding a title shot while the last holding a pink slip." - clarify and get rid of "rules being there were"
- Worked on it.--WillC 21:36, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- "Three of these matches were Gail Kim defending the TNA Women's World Championship against Awesome Kong, the first-ever Feast or Fired match, and Abyss and Rhino versus Black Reign and Rellik in a Match of 10,000 Tacks." - too complicated. Perhaps needs more than one sentence Suggestion: in x match, Gail Kim defended the TNA .... against Awesome Kong (etc.)
- Split up--WillC 21:36, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- "The Feast or Fired match was announced on the November 22 episode of Impact!, with the rules being there were four cases which hung above four padded turnbuckles, three holding a title shot while the last holding a pink slip." - too long and what does "the rules being there were four cases which hung above four padded turnbuckles" etc. mean?
- Worked on it--WillC 21:36, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- "Rellik made his debut aligning with Reign" ??? Rellik debuted, aligning with Reign? Rellik aligned with Reign for the first time?
- Rewrote a bit.--WillC 21:36, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- Comment - please read through and copy edit the article. some sentences are overly long and complex, containing many names, and making it difficult for the reader to follow. Also, avoid the passive voice.
GA review-see WP:WIAGA for criteria (and here for what they are not)
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose: clear and concise, correct spelling and grammar:
- See above. Article needs copy editing.
- B. Complies with MoS for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
- A. Prose: clear and concise, correct spelling and grammar:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. Provides references to all sources:
- B. Provides in-line citations from reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. Provides references to all sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Main aspects are addressed:
- B. Remains focused:
- A. Main aspects are addressed:
- Does it follow the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail:
- I will place on hold for seven days MathewTownsend (talk) 21:20, 24 December 2011 (UTC)
- Additional comments
- Why is Shop of Horrors match piped to Professional wrestling match types? I can't find it listed there.
*Turning Point featured eight professional wrestling matches that involved different wrestlers from pre-existing scripted feuds and storylines. Wrestlers were portrayed as either villains or heroes in the scripted events that built tension and culminated in the wrestling matches.[1]
- ^ Grabianowski, Ed. "How Pro Wrestling Works". HowStuffWorks, Inc. Discovery Communications. Retrieved 2011-07-21.
MathewTownsend (talk) 02:22, 27 December 2011 (UTC)
:*This sentence doesn't seem to be supported by the citation. Never mind. I found there are multiple pages to the citation.
- I have made several minor copy edits to fix small problems that I didn't list above.[1]
- All problems listed have been fixed.
- Reevaluation after fixes
- 1. Well written?: Pass
- 2. Factually accurate?: Pass
- 3. Broad in coverage?: Pass
- 4. Neutral point of view?: Pass
- 5. Article stability?: Pass
- 6. Images?: Pass
- Congratulations! MathewTownsend (talk) 18:47, 27 December 2011 (UTC)