Talk:Tropical Storm Flossie (2013)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: TheAustinMan (talk · contribs) 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC) Hello, TropicalAnalystwx13. I will be reviewing Tropical Storm Flossie (2013). TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Check the alt text for the infobox image. 'Satellite imagery' → 'Satellite image'
- Done. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Tracking westward across the Atlantic with little development, it tracked over Central America..." – Find a way to not use forms of 'track' close together.
- Done while you were doing the review. :) TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"In addition, numerous flash flood watches were issued in the fear of over a foot of precipitation." – Optional, but you really don't need that 'the'.
- Removed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...this also made it the first tropical cyclone to directly affect Hawaii in two decades." – What does that mean? Hurricane Flossie (2007) brought high waves and rain to the island.
- Reworded. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Gusty winds exceeded tropical storm threshold..." – SSHWS is based on maximum sustained winds, not gusts.
- That doesn't change anything? TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...many thousand locals were without power for a few days." – It's either 'several thousand' or 'many thousands of locals', not 'many thousand'
- Changed to several thousand. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...and several others because of vehicle accidents." – You sure? The article only mentions that accidents occurred, not accidents occurred and injured people. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Good catch, removed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Meteorological history

Try naming your references. It's good practice and can help eliminate a lot of byte-age.
- Don't see the point. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Link 'satellite intensity estimates' to Dvorak technique
- Done. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...intermittently on visible satellite imagery by early on July 27." – I think you meant infrared imagery.
- Nah, I mean visible satellite imagery. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...began to impede on the system's organization..." – You don't need 'on'
- Removed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...the forecast called for continued to weakening..." – Eh? Fix the sentence structure up.
- Lol, removed the "to". TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"The low-level vortex became exposed to view..." – Who's view? You can always see the low-level vortex from a boat beneath the storm, right?
- Don't ask me, the NHC uses the phrase. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Preparations and impact

"...under a watch." ought to be spelled out as tropical storm watch
- Done. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Along the Big Island, all courts and colleges were closed." – Just clarifying, but courts = justice courts?
- The reference does not clarify. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Upon becoming the first storm to directly hit the state in 20 years..." – The reference only anticipates a direct hit, so, it can't be used to cite that Flossie did. Direct hits have a special meaning in meteorology, so that counts, too.
- The reference is for the 20 years part. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"...concentrated in Maui and Hawaii." – You should say 'Big Island' instead of Hawaii.
- Changed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Damage from lightning across the state amounted to $24,000." – What's with the reference clutter after this sentence? You could've easily just done a search for lightning in Hawaii on (dates) and then the $24,000 total would show up. Besides, $24,000 shows up on all of the references already anyways; you can remove 3 of the 4 references there.
- Removed three of the instances. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Six accidents were reported..." – What accidents? TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Vehicle accidents. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]