Talk:Toronto Blue Jays mascots/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Albacore (talk · contribs) 01:02, 25 January 2012 (UTC)

Will review shortly. Albacore (talk) 01:02, 25 January 2012 (UTC)

The article overall dearly needs a copy-edit. Specific examples:

• Examples of unnecessary bolding of the specific mascot names in the lead and elsewhere.

• The lead does not satisfy WP:LEAD in that it doesn't adequately summarize the article.

• The third note could be merged into the article.

• Not sure if the fourth note is necessary.

• Quickly, some in the sports media asked "Double the pleasure? Or, double the pain?" Not neutral

• Not sure if the commons category is necessary since the two photos in it are being used in the article.

• The lead image 'sandwiches' the text. The image should be reduced in size

• Images need alt-text

• The usage of quotes is too abundant, cut the unimportant ones.

• Overall the article isn't focused on the topic. For example, in multiple areas, the text strays into Shanahan's life, and adds unnecessary detail (i.e the article strays into Shanahan's cartoon unnecessarily, and On the move to SkyDome, "BJ Birdy" told the Star that the team should keep prices as is. is likewise unnecessary).

• Parts of the article have peacock terms

• Parts look like original research, or if not, it's not neutral (i.e The team suggested, if it were too hard to hold onto the costume, the Jays Care Foundation would gladly accept a donation; he flatly refused. "gladly accept a donation" is not neutral, and neither is "flatly").

Get the article copy-edited (someone at Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors might give the article a copy-edit) and re-apply for Good Article status, as there's potential for this article to be a nice little GA. For the meantime, I'm failing the nomination due to its prose standard. Albacore (talk) 02:27, 25 January 2012 (UTC)