Talk:Tornado outbreak of June 19, 1951/GA1

GA Review[edit]

Unsuccessful. Newspaper sourcing revealed substantial issues with US environmental information that required a section rewrite. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 01:59, 26 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 21:09, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Copy changes needed throughout. The last section is quite dense and needs to be broken up and better organized. 7-day hold to ChessEric. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 21:28, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Copy changes[edit]

Lead[edit]

Add comma after Minneapolis to give the reader a pause in this long sentence
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
$5.030 million (1951 USD) consider using {{formatprice}} and an inflation estimate from {{inflation}}.
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Synopsis[edit]

Decapitalize "northeastern" (but not Central as a recognized region)
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Confirmed tornadoes[edit]

Remove comma after "CDNS report"
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"but it was not confirmed because it was not confirmed to have touched down" wordy, consider reword
- Done
Comma after "Comanche County, Kansas" (MOS:GEOCOMMA)
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"12 miles (19 km)" this {{convert}} needs |adj=on set. The sentence needs help, too: The tornado was spotted right before a hail and high wind storm, which originated about 6 miles (9.7 km) north of Ashland, moved southward, causing a 12 miles (19 km) wide swath of damage as winds flattened nearly ripe wheat, and hail caused extensive damage to crops and light damage to property.
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Consider The tornado was spotted right before a hail and high wind storm which had originated about 6 miles (9.7 km) north of Ashland moved southward and caused a 12-mile (19 km) wide swath of damage. High winds flattened nearly ripe wheat, while hail caused extensive damage to crops and light damage to property.
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
over 3 inches (7.6 cm) that damaged Coldwater, Over three inches of what?
- Done Whoops. Forgot a word. LOL! ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

This violent F4 tornado, which may have been a tornado family, was first observed touching down McLeod County, and immediately striking the south side of Hutchinson at around 5:30 pm CT. Add "in" after "down" and remove the comma after "County" (see User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences)
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Comma after "obliterated"; see the page linked above
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
The last three commas in the sentence starting "Additionally, plate..." need to be semicolons.
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
First two paragraphs in the only tornado breakout subsection need citations.
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Comma after "one person was killed"
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 23:46, 18 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Non-tornadic impacts[edit]

This section would sorely benefit from more paragraph breaks and better organization.
Comma after (Morton Mills, Iowa" (GEOCOMMA)
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 17:43, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Overexertion" one word
- Done Thanks for handling this for me. ChessEric (talk · contribs) 19:09, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Comma after "electric line"
- Done I'm not sure when this was done, but it is done. ChessEric (talk · contribs) 19:09, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Comma after "foot deep"
- Done Thanks for handling this for me. ChessEric (talk · contribs) 19:09, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Decapitalize southern; Comma after "Barber County, Kansas"; Comma after "Hardtner" to complete an appositive.
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 17:43, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Remove the last "and" and add a comma
- Done ChessEric (talk · contribs) 17:43, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Would getting newspaper sources help?
- Indeed. I'll see what I can find. ChessEric (talk · contribs) 17:43, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@ChessEric, I can assist if you tell me what you feel needs newspaper clippings. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 19:49, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you very much! ChessEric (talk · contribs) 20:08, 22 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@ChessEric I clipped a few summaries of storm damage from the next day. Do these help?^[1]^[2]^[3] Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 18:45, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Sammi Brie: It appears so. Thank you. ChessEric (talk · contribs) 18:53, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Let me know when you've incorporated that, make sure to run a date script and archive references, and ping me. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 18:54, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Sammi Brie: This is why newspapers (and Grazulis) are SO helpful. The NCEI track of the F4 tornado is total BS. The ENTIRE section regarding the F4 tornado needs a rewrite. The GA may need to be held off entirely because of this. ChessEric (talk · contribs) 18:07, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Whoa, I missed this ping! Looks like we're going to have to rethink this. I will fail this GA to allow fixing of this particular issue and am more than happy to contribute newspaper sourcing if more is needed. @ChessEric, you should consider applying for Newspapers.com access through WP:TWL. I wouldn't be here today without it. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 01:59, 26 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Other items[edit]

Both tables have captions.
No Earwig issues.
Run a date script to convert reference dates to mdy: User:Ohconfucius/script/MOSNUM dates.
- Can you enter this in for me? I don't know how to do that. ChessEric (talk · contribs) 19:09, 24 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@ChessEric Done. All you need to do is just put the sources in. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 02:12, 25 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

References[edit]

^ "Storms Hit Minnesota, Mid-Iowa". Globe-Gazette. Mason City, Iowa. Associated Press. June 20, 1951. p. 1. Retrieved August 24, 2022 – via Newspapers.com.
^ "Jacket Blown Onto Tree, Pockets Emptied". The Minneapolis Star. Minneapolis, Minnesota. June 20, 1951. p. 1. Retrieved August 24, 2022 – via Newspapers.com.
^ Fitzmaurice, Larry (June 20, 1951). "Tornado Damage Appraised". The Minneapolis Star. Minneapolis, Minnesota. p. 1, 2. Retrieved August 24, 2022 – via Newspapers.com.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

[Glob510620-1] "Storms Hit Minnesota, Mid-Iowa". Globe-Gazette. Mason City, Iowa. Associated Press. June 20, 1951. p. 1. Retrieved August 24, 2022 – via Newspapers.com.

[Minn510620-2] "Jacket Blown Onto Tree, Pockets Emptied". The Minneapolis Star. Minneapolis, Minnesota. June 20, 1951. p. 1. Retrieved August 24, 2022 – via Newspapers.com.

[Minn510620a-3] Fitzmaurice, Larry (June 20, 1951). "Tornado Damage Appraised". The Minneapolis Star. Minneapolis, Minnesota. p. 1, 2. Retrieved August 24, 2022 – via Newspapers.com.

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