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Talk:Thomas Byron/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 22:22, 1 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I can take this on over the coming days. Eddie891 Talk Work 22:22, 1 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

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  • I've made a very light ce, consisting of: adding 'he' in the lede and switching a 'he' to 'Byron', linking Nottinghamshire on the first rather than second mention, switching an instance of 'while' to 'and', de-capitalizing 'colonel' when not by a person, linking Shrewsbury, linking Oxfordshire, italicizing de facto, please see that these are agreeable to you
  • hm. I see that Gog the Mild asked me to italicize it way back in a September 2018 GA review, which was where I got the idea in my head, I think. I'll note that by that articles FAC I was asked to un-italicize it, which is correct usage. Thanks for catching that. Eddie891 Talk Work 16:47, 2 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • I don't see (c. 1610 cited in the article, much less mentioned in the prose
  • Maybe 'early life' would be better titled 'early life and family'
  • "On the outbreak of the First English Civil War," is probably worth a year
  • "On the outbreak of the First English Civil War, Byron and his brothers were described by the biographer George Yerby as "all passionately the King's" makes it sound as though the biographer is writing it on the outbreak. Maybe try something along the lines of "The biographer George Yerby describes Byron and his brothers as "all passionately the King's" on the outbreak of the First English Civil War" or perhaps "The biographer George Yerby describes Byron and his brothers on the outbreak of the First ECW as "all passionately the King's"" or something similar

Very nice article on the whole, that's comments on prose from me, other stuff to come later. Eddie891 Talk Work 13:11, 2 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Eddie891: Cheers for the review, responded to each point. Harrias talk 16:39, 2 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
To avoid redundancy, I think all of your changes address my points, I don't think there's anything regarding that that needs to be changed. Source checks &c to come. Best, Eddie891 Talk Work 14:10, 3 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Source check
  • #1a, fifth of seven sons of Sir John Byron of Newstead Abbey, Nottinghamshire, and Anne Molyneux is imo a little too close to the source's was the fifth of the seven sons of Sir John Byron (d. 1625) of Newstead, Nottinghamshire, and his wife, Anne Molyneux for comfort, could you mix it up just a bit?
  • #1b, source spells her name Catherine, not Katherine as you do in the article
  • #1c, source has 'all passionately the king's' attributed to a Lucy Hutchinson, not Yerby himself
  • #1e, source describes a death "leading a charge", not necessarily a cavalry one
  • "Byron was attacked in Oxford by one of his own soldiers, Captain Hurst, over a pay dispute as he left his lodgings" not a sourcing comment, but it reads here that the attack was as Hurst left his lodgings, but in the ODNB it seems as though it was Byron who was leaving.
  • The JSTOR version of Young 1945 has it published by the Journal of the Society for Army Historical Research, not the "Journal of the Society"
  • I'm not seeing #8b or #9a on the cited page, though I suffer from chronic not-reading-the-whole-page-itis, so its possible I missed something
    • #8b should have been page 109. #9a (now #9b) is definitely right though: "The regiment was still with Hopton, so Sir Thomas was no doubt on leave for some reason or other". Harrias talk 16:27, 5 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The PD ODNB mentions "that a degree was conferred on him at Oxford in 1642" [1]
  • joined the regiment as early as May 1642; commanded regiment at the Battle of Powick Bridge
    • He was almost certainly there, but I find it unlikely that he commanded the regiment; only two troops from the regiment were there. It is likely that he commanded the Prince of Wales' troop at the battle, not the regiment. But this is mostly conjecture based on the troop lists that Young provides. Young is a much higher-quality source than Manganiello, so I'm unsure what to do here. While I feel confident in claiming that he was there, referencing tthat to Manganiello without saying that he commanded the regiment seems odd. But Young never explicitly mentions Byron among the commanders. (The Prince of Wales is listed as his own troop commander, but he was 12 at the time, and certainly did not command it in battle.) Harrias talk 16:27, 5 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • some detail about saving Bulstrode's life if you want to add it

That's all I got Eddie891 Talk Work 12:44, 5 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers Eddie891, replies above. Harrias talk 16:27, 5 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Harrias, I'm now happy with the article, no need for the detail about Bulstrode. I, too, am not sure about Powick Bridge, but I don't think you can only source a mention to Stephen C. Manganiello, givent that Manganiello is an amateur historian-- I don't trust it, so it'll have to stay out. The bit about getting a degree at Oxford is also mentioned in the (modern) ODNB, so I'd like to see that mentioned in the article. Best, Eddie891 Talk Work 17:47, 5 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Alright this article, while rather short, is well written, reasonably comprehensive, well referenced, illustrated, neutral, and otherwise meets the GA criteria. Happy to pass. Eddie891 Talk Work 21:45, 5 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]