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Talk:Theresa Andrews/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 07:32, 9 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • The lead is very short, two sentences is not really enough to summarise this whole article.
  • Her height is listed as 5 ft 5.5 in in the Sports Reference external link.
  • The x in 4 x 100 m should be a multiplication symbol.
  • Larson's article hyphenated age-group when used in a similar manner.
  • Ellipsis in quote should really be an ellipsis, and not " . . . "
  •  Done This is one of those goofy MOS issues: American style guides consistently space the three periods of an ellipsis, but MOS does not. Ironically, it does not affect how the ellipsis is rendered by Wikipedia graphics either way. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • If Murray Stephens trained so many elite swimmers, why does he not have an article, or not red-linked?
  • "to attend the Indiana University in" is "the" needed here?
  • You link backstroke in the lead and then don't link any of the other events, such as medley, breaststroke, freestyle, butterfly...
  • "she would win two gold medals.[11] She won her first gold" repetitive, plus always mildly curious why "would win" should be better than "won".
  •  Done There is an argument to made that the past conditional tense (reflecting a future event from the viewpoint of a past time) is properly used here, but I have simplified per your suggestion. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • No need to relink Caulkins nor repeat her first name.
  • De-linked the second instance of "Tracy Caulkins," but we still need to use her full name to distinguish Tracy from her sister Amy, who is also mentioned in the college swimming career section. Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 12:49, 9 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Avoid single-sentence paragraphs.
  • "therapeutic recreation" I have no idea what this is at all. Is there a link or some kind of explanation as to what this means?
  • Link MBNA America and Bank of America.
  • "currently " avoid if possible, see WP:ASOF.
  • Another single-sentence paragraph.

All minor tweaks. I'll put the article on hold for a week. The Rambling Man (talk) 11:47, 9 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]