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GA Review

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Reviewer: Cavie78 (talk · contribs) 14:01, 9 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]


I'll take this one Cavie78 (talk) 14:01, 9 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • I think the lead could do with rewording. Would suggest the following:
The Who by Numbers Tour was a concert tour by the English rock band the Who, in support of their seventh album, The Who by Numbers (1975). It consisted of concerts in North America and Europe, beginning on 3 October 1975 at Bingley Hall in Stafford, England and ending on 21 October 1976 at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto, Canada. The Who's drummer Keith Moon played his last concerts with the band during the tour; he died less than two years after the its conclusion. Despite being named after The Who by Numbers album, few songs from that record were performed live during the tour.  Done
  • I appreciate that you don't want to replicate the body in the lead, but I think you could add a brief mention of Moon's problems on the tour and maybe something along the lines of "The Who set indoor concert attendance and loudest concert records during the tour"?  Done

History

  • I think this section would benefit from a copy edit. How does this seem?
The Who by Numbers Tour started with 20 dates in Europe in October and November 1975. The first concert took place at Bingley Hall in Stafford, England on 3 October 1975, the same day The Who by Numbers album was released.[1] Prior to this, The Who had not performed live since playing four shows at Madison Square Garden in New York City the previous June, having spent much of 1974 working on the Tommy film and soundtrack. A laser lighting display was introduced at the concerts at Leicester's Granby Halls shortly into the European leg.[2]
The tour continued with a North American leg in November and December 1975, starting on 20 November at The Summit in Houston, Texas. During the leg, the band broke indoor concert attendance records for their 6 December concert at the Pontiac Metropolitan Stadium in Pontiac, Michigan, which attracted at least 75,000 fans.[3] Following the end of the North American leg, the band returned to the UK to play three Christmas concerts at the Hammersmith Odeon, London, due to the high demand for tickets for the earlier British dates.[2]
Following three European dates in early 1976, the Who began a series of shows in the US on 9 March at the Boston Garden. The leg began disastrously, with drummer Keith Moon collapsing on stage only two songs into the Boston concert, causing the show to be postponed until 1 April. The day after the aborted concert, Moon kicked the glass out of a framed painting and seriously injured himself in the process.[4] He was discovered by manager Bill Curbishley, who took him to a hospital.[5] Doctors told Curbishley that if he had not intervened, Moon would have bled to death.[6] In his book Before I Get Old: The Story of the Who, music critic Dave Marsh suggested that at this point The Who's singer Roger Daltrey and bassist John Entwistle seriously considered firing Moon, but decided that doing so would make his life worse.[7] The rest of the leg went without incident. In recognition of the band's performance at the Dane County Coliseum in Madison, Wisconsin, mayor Paul Soglin proclaimed 13 March 1976 "Who-Mania Day", the day of the concert.[4] The band played the leg's only outdoor show on 21 March 1976 at Anaheim Stadium in Anaheim, California.[8]
The band continued The Who by Numbers Tour with "The Who Put the Boot In", three concerts at British football stadiums, beginning with a concert at The Valley in London. The show, which took place on 31 May 1976, was recognised by The Guinness Book of Records as the world's loudest concert, with the sound measuring 120 decibels.[9] The band returned to the US in August to play four shows as a part of the "Whirlwind" leg. The leg was marred by a show in Jacksonville, Florida, which was 25,000 tickets short of a sellout.[10] At the end of the "Whirlwind" tour in Miami, Moon was hospitalised for eight days. Although the group were concerned that he would be unable to complete the last leg of the tour, which consisted of nine dates in the US and Canada throughout October 1976, Moon successfully played the shows, performing for the final time in public at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto on 21 October. Moon died less than two years later, on 7 September 1978. Bassist John Entwistle later said that Moon and the Who reached their live peak during the tour.[11]
  • That sounds good to me.  Done
  • Did the laser lighting display appear at all dates after it was introduced?
  • Where was Moon when he kicked the painting? In a hotel? At an art gallery?
  • You say that Moon nearly died as a result of kicking the painting - what were his injuries? His leg?
  • Entwistle and Daltrey though of sacking Moon - what about Townsend?
  • I think it might be better to call this section Performances or something similar?
  • Surely there were some reviews of the tour? Other than Entwistle comment, there' nothing in the article about reviews
  • I found these reviews:

Set list

  • This section is called Set list, but starts by talking about the band's lineup (which hadn't changed at that point since inception?)
  • On this tour, Moon sung lead vocals on two songs (Fiddle About and Tommy's Holiday Camp), unlike previous tours, where he only played drums and percussion. During the PR, Ojorojo said I should move the "Personnel" section to "Set list". Chrisnait (talk | contribs) 16:25, 10 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "By 1976, it had became obvious that the tour had merely been a "greatest hits" celebration of the band's decade long career" Obvious to who?
  • "Despite being under the guise of a tour supporting The Who by Numbers, few songs from the new album were performed live" Any idea why, other than that the band wanted to capitalise on the success of the Tommy film?
  • "The group would settle into a regular set list by the end of the year, repeating it almost verbatim throughout 1976" So how different was the set in the first half of the tour? Is the set below this "regular set list?
  • Few copyedits needed, but I'll look at those later

Films and albums

  • Anything to say about the Texas film? Why wasn't it released until 2012? Presumably it was released on DVD with no cinematic release?

Tour dates

  • "The concerts on 9–10 October 1976 were apart of Day on the Green" -> "The concerts on 9–10 October 1976 were a part of Day on the Green"  Done
  • You say that the "The Who Put the Boot In" leg consisted of three British dates, but in Tour Dates you include two French dates as well?
  • The Who Concert File and Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere say the French dates were apart of the tour, despite the British shows being the main performances of the leg. I don't know how to reword the sentence about it in the History section. Chrisnait (talk | contribs) 16:26, 10 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Placing on hold Cavie78 (talk) 14:22, 10 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Cavie78: Are there any other issues you need me to fix? Chrisnait (talk | contribs) 15:39, 15 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks @Chrisnait:, the article is looking pretty good. I've just a few more quibbles:
  • In Reception you need to state which shows the critics are writing about
  • Regarding "highlighted by a concert at The Valley in London", it would be better to say something like "featuring a 60,000 capacity concert at The Valley in London" I think this gets across the fact that it was the key concert
  • Few copyedits in Set list as follows:
You should say "The Who's lineup during..." rather than "The lineup during"
"By 1976, the tour had merely been a "greatest hits" celebration of the band's decade-long career" -> "By 1976, the tour had become merely been a "greatest hits" celebration of the band's decade-long career" You probably need to state that this is the opinion of Neill & Kent too
"Despite being under the guise of a tour supporting" -> "Despite ostensibly being a tour supporting the release of"
"the band opted to perform a mini-set of Tommy material featured in the middle of the set"
"success of the film generating more interest in the rock opera" You haven't mentioned that Tommy is a rock opera before,
"Meanwhile, less and less Quadrophenia material were performed since the last tour, only "Drowned" was finding its way occasionally into the set, and even that was eventually dropped" -> "Meanwhile, less and less Quadrophenia material was performed compared to the Who's previous tour, with only "Drowned" occasionally finding its way into the set during early dates, before eventually being dropped"
I think you should make "The group would settle into a regular set list..." a seperate paragraph so it's clear that it's referring to the set list below
  1. ^ McMichael & Lyons 1997, pp. 166–167
  2. ^ a b Neill & Kent 2002, p. 257
  3. ^ McMichael & Lyons 1997, pp. 170–172
  4. ^ a b Neill & Kent 2002, pp. 270–271
  5. ^ Marsh 1983, p. 475
  6. ^ Fletcher 1998, p. 457
  7. ^ Marsh 1983, p. 476
  8. ^ Neill & Kent 2002, pp. 272
  9. ^ Neill & Kent 2002, pp. 273
  10. ^ McMichael & Lyons 1997, pp. 176
  11. ^ Fletcher 1998, pp. 464–466