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Talk:The Survivor (Star Trek: The Animated Series)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Seattle (talk · contribs) 19:55, 10 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I can review this soon. Seattle (talk) 19:55, 10 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Plot

  • I would prefer that you clarify somewhere in the first paragraph that Winston is a Vendorian, or rather, that the Vendorian disguises himself as Winston, to avoid confusion throughout the rest of the plot. The first paragraph is in itself confusing, as the small private ship isn't manned by Winston, but rather the Vendorian
  • Winston renders Captain James T. Kirk This wasn't Winston, this was the alien, right? Can you rework to disambiguate, as Winston's still lost, correct?
  • Nored informs the Vendorian that he is very much similar to Winston and would like to have a life on Earth—possibly together with her this sentence reads as though Nored called the Vendorian female– is this the case?

Production ""The Survivor is writer James Schmerer's...whose other genre work consisted of two episodes of the television series Wonder Woman as well as a single episode of Buck Rodgers. He was better known for his work on soap operas such as General Hospital and Another World." -- Not accurate, based on James Schmerer's IMDB record. There is no record there of him having written for Wonder Woman, any Buck Rogers show, OR General Hospital or Another World, including in his credits as producer and editorial staff.

In any event, both Wonder Woman and Buck Rogers (not "Rodgers") in the 25th Century aired AFTER The Animated Series. If the claim refers to the Buck Rogers 1939 serial or the 1950-1 TV series, it's still not accurate, according to Schmerer's IMDB record. Schmerer later wrote for such SF/F shows as Isis, Logan's Run, The Six Million Dollar Man, Tales of the Unexpected, and Fantasy Island, so this episode of ST:TAS is far from his only work in the SF/F genre, though it appears to have been his first. If "the genre" means animated shows, then neither Wonder Woman nor any of the Buck Rogers shows would be relevant. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Thomasroche (talkcontribs) 02:36, 28 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Performance

  • He explained that he wrote the script for "The Survivor" as if it was a live-action story, although it was originally known as "The Chameleon". I don't see the contrast that "although" implies
  • something that Schmerer praised, saying that when he saw it he said "Hey that's neat. That's really clever!" how about a rework for this part of the sentence to something like "a change that Schmerer called "clever" and "neat".
  • Roddenberry and Schemerer argued about the point, with Roddenberry saying that Kirk was the star of the series while Schmerer wanted it to be different. His reason was that he was concerned that it would appear too similar to the events of "Whom Gods Destroy" where Garth of Izar changes his appearance to become Kirk I think you can combine these two sentences

Reception and home media release

I will review the article one final time after these comments are addressed. Seattle (talk) 14:03, 13 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Have reread the article, and found one qualm: In this episode, a survivor rescued from a damaged spacecraft raises questions about his identity this isn't clear, and leads the reader on, which goes against WP:LEAD: "Consideration should be given to creating interest in reading more of the article, but the lead should not "tease" the reader by hinting at content that follows". Can you rework? Seattle (talk) 01:45, 16 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No problem. I've modified the plot in the lead. Miyagawa (talk) 20:02, 17 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Passing. Seattle (talk) 20:13, 17 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]