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Talk:The Silent Cartographer/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: IceWelder (talk · contribs) 20:34, 2 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]


GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Infobox
  • Use "Bungie", the common name, instead of "Bungie Studios".
Lead
  • Unlink "video game" for MOS:SEAOFBLUE.
  • I don't think you need to mention or cite PC Gamer up here. The body serves this just fine.
  • "... of the development of Halo itself, ..." - "itself" is redundant here.
Level content
  • Consider merging the second and third paragraphs.
Development
  • "... when developers at Bungie moved to Seattle after Microsoft ..." - It appears that Bungie as a whole was moved there, not just individuals.
  • Also. wiki-link Microsoft.
  • Instead of "an RTS", write out "a real-time strategy game", as this is the first mention of the genre.
  • "wide open spaces" should "wide-open spaces" or "wide, open spaces".
  • Remove the comma in "drive, led".
  • "... as a test map to test aspects ..." - "test" is duplicated here; I think you can just leave out "as a test map".
  • In the quote, use emdash (—), as seen in the source, instead of the current hyphen.
Reception
  • Kotaku, PC Gamer, etc. should be italicized.
  • There is an error in Burford's long quote, it should be "constant sense that you're making progress as you play through the level".
  • There is an error in Dale's long quote, it should be "offering the kind of freeform, tactical warfare that fans could only have dreamed about at the time".
  • Move the full-stop (and in one case, comma) after the quote per MOS:LQ. This applies to all cases in this section except for that ending in "That's peak Halo for me, really.".
  • Restore the Oxford comma in Whittaker's quote at "... sections and a blend of ...".
  • Is there a reason Andy Kelly is referred to as "Andy K."?
  • In the last sentence, remove the quotation marks from the level name to align it with the rest of the article.
Legacy
  • When talking about the film, link to the respective section on the Halo franchise article.
  • IGN should be italicized.
  • Should "spiritual successor" be in quotes? Either way, consider wiki-linking it.
  • In the last sentence, "the level" is ambiguous, since the preceding paragraph mentioned three different levels.
Other
  • Add Rich Stanton as the author for ref #4.
  • For ref #14, include the page number (44).
  • A pet peeve of mine: Please order the categories alphabetically.
  • The level is mentioned on Halo: Combat Evolved. Consider linking it from there.

  • @IceWelder: Thanks for taking it up so fast, I have made tweaks to the article that should address all of the concerns raised. I don't have any particular arguments with any of them, they were all errors I made whether unknowingly or accidentally.ZXCVBNM (TALK) 21:05, 2 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]