Talk:The Shape of Water/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Kncny11 (talk · contribs) 17:32, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
Hello! I'll be reviewing this article as part of the July 2021 good article nominations backlog drive! Any section that I've marked with a Working tag means that I haven't finished leaving comments there, but you're free to begin making changes as soon as you see them! Kncny11 (shoot) 17:32, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
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Infobox and lede
[edit]- Vanessa Taylor's work on the screenplay should be mentioned in the body
Done Added. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:05, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Just as in the body, link "mute" to Mutism
Done Linked. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:05, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- "many calling it del Toro's best work since Pan's Labyrinth" not mentioned in body
Done Removed. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:05, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Most of the third paragraph, actually, needs to be placed in the body somewhere
Plot
[edit]- Pipe "mute" to Muteness
- "at a secret government laboratory in Baltimore, Maryland, in 1962 (during the Cold War)" → "By 1962, during the Cold War, Esposito works as a cleaner at a secret government laboratory in Baltimore, Maryland."
- Comma after "same time every day"
- WL egg timer
- "The facility receives a mysterious creature captured from a South American river by Colonel Richard Strickland, who is in charge of the project, to study it." → "Colonel Richard Strickland has just captured a mysterious creature from a South American river and has taken the creature to the Baltimore facility for further study."
- "simultaneously is ordered" → "is simultaneously ordered"
- "Elisa keeps the Amphibian Man in her bathtub, planning to release him into a nearby canal in several days when it is scheduled to rain to provide access to the ocean." → "Eliza plans to release the Amphibian Man into a nearby canal when heavy rain will allow access to the ocean. In the meantime, she keeps him in her bathtub."
- "Eliza has sex with the Amphibian Man" → "Eliza continues to develop her romantic relationship with the Amphibian Man, culminating in sexual intercourse."
Cast
[edit]- Don't quote me on this, but I think that whether or not a cast has to be cited depends on whether there's elaboration given beyond the names
- In any case, definitely need a source for anything uncredited (like Del Toro as the vocal effects)
Production
[edit]Development
[edit]- "The idea for The Shape of Water formed during del Toro's breakfast with Daniel Kraus in December 2011, with whom he later co-wrote the novel Trollhunters." → "Guillermo del Toro formed the idea for The Shape of Water over breakfast in December 2011 with Daniel Kraus, his future collaborator on the novel Trollhunters."
- Swap the order of things so that the Black Lagoon inspiration (the primary inspiration) comes before The Space Between Us
- Can you elaborate more on "today's heightened tensions"?
Casting
[edit]- "in mind for the part" → "in mind for the female lead"
- "she was told by Del Toro to watch" → "Del Toro told her to watch"
- Comma after "with Ian McKellen in mind"
- "who directed" → "the director of"
- Can you include something on the casting of Doug Jones as the Amphibian Man, since he forms the other lead and has a long history of working with Del Toro?
Filming
[edit]- No comma needed after "Elgin and Winter Garden Theatres"
- WL facade
- Here, he is referred to as "del Toro", whereas elsewhere it is "Del Toro"
Visuals
[edit]- Section ends abruptly. Clarify that he did ultimately film in color
Soundtrack
[edit]- A little thin right now. I found interviews from Desplat here and here that might provide some weight.
Release
[edit]- The source for Telluride, etc. only mentions the Toronto Film Festival screening
- The information about its USA release is incorrect, as the article says that it's slated for wide release on December 8
- WL wide release
- The "home media" subhead is only one sentence right now. I found an article here about the 4K release and some of the added details going into making that, as well as the extra features
Reception
[edit]- "following its four Oscar wins, the film made an additional $2.4 million."
Box office
[edit]- Fine
Critical response
[edit]- Switch the comma after "positive reviews" to a semicolon
- "PostTrak reported that filmgoers"
- "Guillermo" → "Del Toro"
Accolades
[edit]- "The film also spawned some debate about whether the fact that it was filmed in Canada, with a predominantly Canadian crew and many Canadian actors in the supporting roles, should have made it eligible to be nominated for the Canadian Screen Awards." → "The film also sparked some debate about whether it should have been eligible for a Canadian Screen Awards nomination, as it was filmed in Canada with a predominantly Canadian crew and many Canadian actors in supporting roles."
- Comma after "rules for international coproductions"
- Give a few examples of top-ten lists it ended up on, particularly of #1s
Plagiarism accusations
[edit]- Move reference to end of sentence for "Other observers vehemently disagree with Jeunet's assertion."
- "objects as well the music which is a reminiscent of" → "objects, as well as the music, which is reminiscent of"
References
[edit]- In [22], Toronto Life Magazine should be changed from publisher to work
General comments
[edit]- Images are either free or tagged for use, and are relevant to the article
- No visible edit warring or other instability
- Earwig score comes up high due to mirror sites. Of actual articles, most of the high % are due to attributed direct quotes.
Overall, a good start, but I have some concerns about broadness and original research. I hope the leads I've given you have been helpful. Since this is an expansion-heavy request, ping me when you're finished and I'll do another prose look-over. Let me know if you have any questions, and for the time being, I'll be placing this article on hold. Kncny11 (shoot) 17:25, 2 July 2021 (UTC)
- @Kncny11: All done. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 22:02, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
- Some Dude From North Carolina Thank you for making those changes, particularly the vague "expand here" comments. Passing now. — GhostRiver 21:50, 8 July 2021 (UTC)