Talk:The Mongol Khan/GA1
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Frzzl (talk · contribs) 18:29, 2 January 2024 (UTC)
Hello! I'd like to take this one on. Frzzl talk; contribs 18:29, 2 January 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you Frzzl! ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 18:59, 2 January 2024 (UTC)
- No problem - I've added comments. If you fundamentally disagree with any of my proposed rephrasings, just say so - they're simply some personal preferences. Frzzl talk; contribs 20:18, 2 January 2024 (UTC)
- No worries Frzzl; all should be responded to. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 20:25, 2 January 2024 (UTC)
- Lovely jubbly; the inclusion of the photo of the theatre is a very nice choice. Passing! Frzzl talk; contribs 20:27, 2 January 2024 (UTC)
- No worries Frzzl; all should be responded to. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 20:25, 2 January 2024 (UTC)
- No problem - I've added comments. If you fundamentally disagree with any of my proposed rephrasings, just say so - they're simply some personal preferences. Frzzl talk; contribs 20:18, 2 January 2024 (UTC)
Review
[edit]- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- Lede
- Could we mention the approximate time range of the Xiongnu Empire? The lay reader would have no clue when it existed. - F
- Synopsis
- Well written, not too long/appropriate level of depth. - F
- Cast
- I've seen several sources mention the fact that it has seventy cast members, with seven lead actors - I think this is probably worth mentioning, separately from the information about the size of the theatre company. It would allow you to remove the "Source:" bit of text below the list as well. - F
- History
- With no images to break it up, the sheer number of paragraphs here makes it a little harder to read. Could you add some subheadings? Perhaps split in three: with the headings "China" and "London"? - F
Even though only one member is fluent in the language
; is -> was- wikilink soft power
- I think that "of the United Kingdom's recognition of Mongolian sovereignty" flows a little better than
the United Kingdom recognising Mongolia's sovereignty
.
- Reception
The reception of the London production varied from positive to negative.
feels a little odd and strung out. Perhaps "The London production was met by a mixed response from critics" or something or the sort?issues with the flaky plot
-> "flaky", missed from quotation marks.
- Lede
- a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
- Overall, not all bad! Will be happy to pass the article once the above queries have been adressed. Frzzl talk; contribs 20:05, 2 January 2024 (UTC)
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section):
b (inline citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- Earwig brings up only quotes, so passed for copyvio. The references section is well formatted, so no issues there either. A few primary sources have been used, but in context, there appears to be no issues with them.
- 6 spotchecks, randomly taken:
- ref 2) Passed for verifiability and copyvio (not that you really could)
- ref 5) Passed for verifiability and copyvio
- ref 9) Passed for verifiability and copyvio
- ref 10) If Google Translate is serving me well, no problems with copyvios, and it confirms the prose
- ref 13) Passed for verifiability and copyvio; well-written, I like the simplification to "mammalian"
- ref 18) Passed for verifiability
- a (reference section):
- Very nice! - F
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- Well focused, well sized, and covers all the major aspects of the play. Summary style is used well, the synopsis is not excessive. - F
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Article is overall neutral. The Reception section is nicely balanced with reviews - all opinions are clearly marked as such. - F
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- Only issue would be the adding and deletion of images, but that is resolved and several months passed. - F
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Only image used is a promotional poster for the play, which is appropriately tagged as Fair Use and at a fair resolution. The promotional photos have been deleted, so no issue there. - F
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.