Talk:The Mansion of Happiness/GA1

GA Review

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GA review (see here for criteria)

Congratulations on the work completed so far. It is a significant improvement from the last major upgrade. There are a few concerns, however, I have in regards to GA status.

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
The lead reads a little disjointed, particularly the first sentence. The description of Abbott so early in the introduction is a little distracting - perhaps move into a separate paragraph? Try expanding the lead, and separate the early part of the article under suitable headings. Try WP:LEAD if you are having trouble.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
As mentioned above, the article tends to lose its focus, especially in the lead.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
An alternative caption might be the go, something that describes what it is, (game board, etc). Another image would be nice, but not paramount.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
The prose needs significant improvement in order to meet the 1a requirement. Try contacting a Copyeditor at a relevant WP:TOYS, or at WP:GoCE. A copyedit will not only improve the prose, but will tend to get the article a little more 'focused'. You are not far away from GA quality, keep putting in effort at it won't be far away. :)

\ / (⁂) 00:49, 15 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I think it is time for a reassessment.

Glubbdrubb (talk) 18:14, 20 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]