Talk:The Livestock Conservancy/GA1
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Reviewer: Racepacket (talk) 07:05, 23 January 2011 (UTC) Nice article that obviously represents a lot of work.
No disamb. links.
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- I have made minor copy edits directly on the article. Please take our any spaces in front of the footnotes.
- "was incorporated during a meeting in Vermont." -that is impossible. Only the Secretary of State can incorporate. You probably mean "was founded during a meeting in Vermont, following its incorporation."
- "while monitoring the status of its listed breeds and others in the intervening time." -> "while monitoring the status of endangered breeds between surveys."
- "Traditions' collaborative" - is this a possessive?
- "For this conference, they partner " -> "For this conference, it partners" ??
- What does "This support from the ALBC helped the horses to become recognized and registrable with the Colonial Spanish registry.[20]" mean? Horses that are not from Santa Cruz?
- I'm not sure how to better explain this. The Colonial Spanish Horse registry registers horses from several different populations of horses across the United States, all descended from the same stock but having evolved into different breeds over the past 300 or so years. In order to be recognized by the registry, populations of horses have to be shown to meet the criteria - DNA testing, Spanish-type physical characteristics, etc. The ALBC helped to prove the Spanish ancestry of the Santa Cruz horses, so that they can now be registered with the Colonial Spanish Horse registry. "Colonial Spanish Horse" is linked further up in the paragraph that this sentence is in, because many of the breeds that the ALBC helps are Spanish strains.
- Run on sentence: "In December 1987, the ALBC performed one of its first breed rescues when it removed a viable population of Santa Cruz sheep off Santa Cruz Island where they were in danger of being eradicated by a nature conservancy working to save indiginous vegetation."
- "plans are underway for a satellite herds to be established soon." - see WP:RELTIME
- So far I haven't been able to find an update on this (the article was published in June 2010), so I just changed it to say "As of June 2010...".
- "to re-create a breed registry for the Red Wattle Hog" - what happened to the old one?
- I've expanded this paragraph to give a bit more background. Is it enough or too much?
- "at 4,275 birds of all breeds."->"at 4,275 turkeys of all breeds." ??
- "blind taste test among nine breeds"->"blind taste test of nine breeds" ??
- All of the above have been addressed, except where otherwise noted.
- a (prose):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references):
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
- Fn 7 is dead.
- Fixed. It was just missing a letter :)
- Fn 7 is dead.
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- I suggest you add an infobox to the article.
- Done.
- Should you include the latin scientific names for horses, asses, etc. in parenthesis?
- I don't think this is really necessary. Readers know what pigs, cows, horses, etc are, and since they are coming to the article to learn about the ALBC, rather than the animals, I think that including Latin names would just be a distraction.
- How is the ALBC funded?
- Added.
- How is its Board of Directors selected?
- I'm assuming by its membership, but I can't find any sources that give this information.
- Are there publications other than the CPL?
- There are the books mentioned in the History and mission section ("The organization has written or published over a dozen books..."), plus the heritage breed definitions mentioned in the various animal sections. Do I need to go into more detail on these?
- Have they been involved with any genome mapping projects?
- They do a lot of work with DNA testing of various breeds to determine relationships between breeds, as is described in the various animal sections. However, I can't find any mention of them working with full-scale genome mapping projects, like the Horse Genome Project for example.
- I suggest you add an infobox to the article.
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- File:Barbados Blackbelly.JPG has an improper template. VSU is not the federal government.
- Replaced
- File:Barbados Blackbelly.JPG has an improper template. VSU is not the federal government.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- I am placing the article on hold. Racepacket (talk) 07:40, 23 January 2011 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail:
I think I have addressed all of the comments above. Thank you very much for your review - you pointed out some deficient areas that I hadn't even noticed! Dana boomer (talk) 17:10, 23 January 2011 (UTC)
- I have gone ahead and fixed the coverage of the incorporation date with a reference to the Vermont Secretary of State records. The organization probably held planning meetings before the incorporation papers were drafted. According to the GreenPlanet article, the papers were signed at the Agriculture Office on 3/16 and, according to state records, were filed on the same date with the Secretary of State to make 3/16 its official date of incorporation. The organization then held another meeting after the incorporation to adopt bylaws, etc. Good work. Congratulations. Racepacket (talk) 14:17, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
- Awesome! Thanks again for the review! Dana boomer (talk) 14:58, 24 January 2011 (UTC)