Talk:The Little Mermaid II: Pinball Frenzy/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 20:48, 26 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Will begin this soon. JAGUAR 20:48, 26 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 20:51, 26 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"It was first released on September 2000 in North America, and was later released on March 16, 2001 in PAL regions" - unnecessary comma

Removed. Aoba47 (talk) 17:28, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"It was made exclusively available on Game Boy Color" - this sentence should be deleted, and the opening sentence should instead read like: The Little Mermaid II: Pinball Frenzy is a video game developed by Disney Interactive Studios and Left Field Productions and published by Nintendo of America, Inc for the Game Boy Color

Makes sense. It does sound very choppy in my original wording. Revised according to your suggestion. Aoba47 (talk) 17:28, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"Based on the animated films The Little Mermaid and The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea, the game features two pinball tables based on Ariel and her daughter Melody" - repetition of 'based. I'm not sure how pinball tables can be based on characters, perhaps rephrase this to two pinball tables resembling Ariel and her daughter Melody?

Thanking you for catching the repetition of the word 'based', and it is not that the pinball tables resemble the characters, rather the Ariel table is the Little Mermaid one (where she is the central protagonist) and the Melody one is the Little Mermaid II table (where she is the central protagonist), if that makes any sense. I have reworded this to hopefully make it clearer. Let me know if it needs to be revised further. Aoba47 (talk) 17:28, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Ah, I understand now. Thanks. JAGUAR 17:40, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"one is based on the character Ariel and the other on her daughter Melody" - again, I'd rephrase this so it asserts that they aesthetically look like the two characters (or something like that).

Changed, and thank you for catching this. Let me know if it needs to be revised further. Aoba47 (talk) 17:28, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"The game was exclusively released on Game Boy Color on September 24, 2000, and was later made available on March 16, 2001" - this should mention that it was released in North America and Europe, respectively

Done, thank you. Aoba47 (talk) 17:28, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"Brett Allan Weiss of AllGame" - link AllGame

AllGame is already linked in the "Development and release" section. Aoba47 (talk) 17:28, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

No dead links

I archived all the links to avoid this (since the game is older and didn't receive much attention a few of this links have already died and needed to be found through archiving and I can see some of the others dying in the future). Aoba47 (talk) 17:31, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

No DAB links

Yay! Aoba47 (talk) 17:31, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Good job with this article! It is well written and comprehensive for the subject, I couldn't have done a better job myself. I'll leave this on hold until all are clarified. Please let me know if you have any questions JAGUAR 15:06, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Jaguar: Thank you for your review! Let me know if there anything else that I can do to improve the article further. Aoba47 (talk) 17:28, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for addressing all of the concerns, Aoba! Without further ado I'll pass this as it meets the criteria. Good work! JAGUAR 17:40, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 17:43, 27 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]