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Talk:The Good News Club: The Christian Right's Stealth Assault on America's Children/GA1

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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: 1TWO3Writer (talk · contribs) 02:55, 16 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

This is my first GA review so if I get anything wrong, tell me.

Lead

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Lead needs to be broken into two paragraphs, one for the info about the book, the other about the reception.

Author and background

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Needs to be broken up into two, a separate paragraph for the author and the background.

When a GNC formed at the public elementary school her daughter attended, she investigated the club, which led to the beginning of the book.

Awkward sounding in my opinion. The commas make the sentence "jutter."

...in the alternative newspaper Santa Barbara Independent...

Because the Santa Barb. article states it's an alternative newspaper, it's unnecessary and/or perhaps even irrelevant to describe it as such here.

Santa Barbara Independent already states it is an alternative newspaper, meaning repeating that fact is likely unnecessary. However, it's a minor issue, so I'll pass the article and leave it up to you. 123Writer talk 14:44, 19 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Overview

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...between the ages of four to fourteen in elementary schools...

The wikilink to 4/14 could be placed around "four to fourteen" part, removing the need for the parentheses.

Paragraph break between "...about public education." and "The book consists..."

...worry that their children are being proselytized, ...

Should be "proselytized to" as it's a passive action.

...Manhattan in New York City...

Probably can do without the New York City part.

...their religion, Christianity...

Remove "their religion,".

    • Stewart focuses on peer-to-peer evangelism through which students can persuade other students to adopt their religion. is separate from the next part, "Christianity in high school sports, and organizations such as the Fellowship of Christian Athletes." I've added a comma for clarification. Therapyisgood (talk) 01:44, 19 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The final paragraph confused me. Does the author want to defund ALL public schools or only public schools that engage in evangelism? Also the quote "one of the largest and most successful collective efforts in [American] history" needs clarification: effort to do what?

Critical reception

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Here's an additional review you may use.

Apologies, it was a different link. 123Writer talk 14:41, 19 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

This part needs to be organized better in my opinion. You should more clearly divide the reviews within sections, perhaps when the reviews talk positively or negatively about the work, or about the author's style.

Some review sources lack notability, for example The Humanist as it says in its article is only read by around 3k people. Journal of Education and Christian Belief also seems spotty in terms of notability. The reviewers are also just called by their names without credentials; why is Jeff Trotter's opinion so important?

Minutiae

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The caption on the image should not use a full-stop. Steward in references should be wikilinked at least once.

Conclusion

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I hope you find this review not overly harsh. Please feel free to ask me to clarify a few things if need be, I'm always happy to help.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.