Talk:The Downward Spiral/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 23:35, 16 April 2014 (UTC)

Hi, I'll read through and copyedit as I go and use edit summaries to explain (please revert if my change accidentally guffs the meaning)!, and pop questions down below. Cheers, Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 23:35, 16 April 2014 (UTC)

" The Downward Spiral was promoted with the Self Destruct Tour and four singles: "March of the Pigs", "Closer", "Piggy", and "Hurt"." - umm, the singles bit needs a verb....

Added the verb "became" to the sentence, which was copyedited to say this: " The Downward Spiral was promoted with the Self Destruct Tour and four songs from the album ("March of the Pigs", "Closer", "Piggy", and "Hurt") became singles." }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 23:47, 16 April 2014 (UTC)

I'm really happy with you copyediting this article. I copyedited much of this article before the GAN review started. I like you. I'm happy! (=D)}IMr*|(60nna)I{ 23:51, 16 April 2014 (UTC)

I like people who respond quickly too...almost as much as I like this album :) Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 23:59, 16 April 2014 (UTC)

Also - when I review I try and give an article a big as shove as I possibly can towards FAC, which is where good GAs should be aiming for :) Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:03, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

" Nine Inch Nails live performances were known for its aggressive on-stage dynamic, with band members acting angry and destroying instruments." - plural with singular verb.

Copyedited. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 00:15, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

"He had a desire to explore a character who affects all elements of his life..." - this I don't get - is it a character that already exists and is affecting Reznor, or is it a hypothetical/new character? Also is the "his" in "his life" Reznor's or the characters.....

Copyedited that part so that it says this: "He wanted to explore a character whose life is affected" }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 00:15, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

Also added "fictional". }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 00:17, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

"and made an evolving concept about the album's transgressive themes" - "developed a concept"? - also what you mean by transgressive - like, breaking taboos?

Removed "transgressive", also did copyedit that part. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 00:14, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

I checked and copyedited parts of The Downward Spiral, including making paragraphs not start with "The Downward Spiral". The article looks great now. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 02:36, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

Ok - all looking in order so far - best is to let me strike out the queries as I check them, that way I double check what's been done as I go. More to come....

He wanted to explore a fictional character whose life is affected.... -- hmmm, seems a bit chopped off, you mean, "damaged", "psychologically wounded"...?

"Psychologically wounded" is what I meant. Replaced "affected" with "psychologically wounded". }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 02:54, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

"Reznor told rock music producer Rick Rubin that his motivation for creating the album was to get it finished, thus making Rubin complain" - I don't follow - is this because Rubin ws annoyed he was unenthusiastic?

Replaced "complain" with "responded", removed "making", and added an explanation on why he responded. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 04:51, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

Can you plz link the Bowie album Low and The Wall?

Yes, I did it now. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 04:27, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

"depicted as a sex figure " --> sex icon?

Changed "sex figure" to "sex icon". }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 04:27, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

See this "Difference between revisions" page: https://wiki.riteme.site/w/index.php?title=The_Downward_Spiral&diff=604554123&oldid=557645674 }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 06:25, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

Now the article looks brilliant. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 20:38, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

Right, checking sources - reading through this (which is a typed up version of this), I can't find any mention of the studio being called "le pig" in it, yet the source is used to cite the fact in the article. This sometimes happens when alot of copyediting and juggling of content is done....so it needs to be decoupled from that sentence and another found.

Detached "NIN Spin 1996" reference from the "Reznor named the studio" sentence. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 21:53, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

Also, I can't see mention in the source of the lyrics of "Closer" being muted

Detached "NIN Spin 1996" reference from the "partially muted" sentence and changed "muted" to "censored". }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 21:53, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

(edit conflict) There is stuff in that source that is good - his inspiration from a selection of random memories and important events in his life and his initial desire for it to be a concept album - this needs to be embellished in the article as it is his rationale for writing the album.

Done. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 22:12, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

File:Le Pig Studios.jpg (which is a great image to have in it) needs to have appropriate licencing. I doubt it was uploaded by the copyright holder and the original German website I don't think holds copyright either - I think a Fair Use rationale is needed to be added. See Wikipedia:Non-free use rationale guideline

Added non-free use rationale. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 22:12, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

I did upload 3 images before and after I nominated this article for GA status because I thought they were public domain since the author doesn't own images apparently, but they were deleted because of a lack of a non-free use rationale. They were all NIN concert stuff; I'll upload those things again later. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 22:17, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

Here's one: [1] }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 22:31, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

The original flickr file is marked "all rights reserved" so can't be used...also we have other images of him singing so would be hard to justify Fair Use rationale.Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 23:22, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

In summary, I'd err on the side of caution WRT images - use fair use sparingly for really unique images only.

What is a WRT image? }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 23:40, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

Sorry - acronym for "with respect to" Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 23:42, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

Used File:Trent Reznor, Self Destruct concert, 1994.jpg for The Downward Spiral instead of File:Trent Reznor, Self Destruct Tour, 1994.jpg. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 01:44, 18 April 2014 (UTC)

Also - for the final bit of polish, convert the notes section to a footnote section with Template:Efn - if you need help doing it I can do it. I highly recommend it for making it look professional....

Done. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 23:49, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

damn - I just noticed the Huxley ref - we need page numbers - see how we do this with Template:sfn - and see some articles as examples, like Canis_Major.

I think it would take a long time for me to look for certain pages in the Huxley ref that are used in the article, then split the whole reference up into several more ones using {{sfn}}. Just because I have to carefully compare the words in Huxley's Nine Inch Nails book to Wikipedia's The Downward Spiral article. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 23:57, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

Done. Took a long time to do so.}IMr*|(60nna)I{ 01:26, 18 April 2014 (UTC)

Also, double-check the external links with the Wikipedia:External links - try to cut anything unless it really adds something to the whole article. Don't link if already used as a reference.

Everything is okay. }IMr*|(60nna)I{ 01:26, 18 April 2014 (UTC)

Sorry to be so picky, but trying to cover everything I can think of as I do think it has the potential to be FA so giving it a big push. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 23:42, 17 April 2014 (UTC)

1. Well written?:

Prose quality:

Manual of Style compliance:

2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:

References to sources:

Citations to reliable sources, where required:

No original research:

3. Broad in coverage?:

Major aspects:

Focused:

4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:

Fair representation without bias:

5. Reasonably stable?

No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):

6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:

Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales: (I'm happy with the Fair Use Rationale for the second Reznor image but some editors might not be satisfied. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 05:34, 18 April 2014 (UTC)

Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

Overall:

Pass or Fail: - nice work. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 05:34, 18 April 2014 (UTC)