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Talk:The Dog and Pony Show/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Ruby2010 (talk · contribs) 20:33, 17 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hi June, I would be happy to review this one. Will add my comments soon. Ruby 2010/2013 20:33, 17 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments
  • Is there a suitable reference you could cite for that explanatory "dog and pony show" note?
  • I've seen many episode articles briefly summarize the series in the lead. Could you add something to this effect in the first paragraph? Just a suggestion though; no obligation to act on it.
  • Done. Let me know if it needs tweaking though.
  • "Mr.Wick asks what they ..." -- space needed
  • Done.
  • Does the episode end there? Or is the dog storyline shown as resolved (i.e. Mrs. Lauder gets "her" dog)?
  • The dog kinda disappeared once the focus moved onto the striptease. Neither it or Mrs. Lauder were mentioned or seen again.
  • Suggest identifying Borden and Oppenheimer's relationship to the series (creators? producers? etc).
  • Done.
  • "...were not allowed to perform on the show after being stopped by the immigration department because..." I assume this was the American immigration department? It might be good to specify.
  • Done.
  • "While Stiles joked that the episode was the first time he had been "totally naked" since he was cast in the show." -- this is a fragmented sentence; suggest combining with previous sentence
  • Done.
  • He also clarified that the cast were wore pouches to protect their modesty." -- I think there may be an extra word thrown in there.
  • Fixed.
  • The lead says 12.4 million viewers, while the reception section mentions 12.4 million households. Which one is correct?
  • The latter. I am not good at interpreting US ratings, so I suspect this isn't going to be the last time that I've got it wrong.

Otherwise, looks good! As you can see, mainly minor nitpicks; I'll place this on hold for the usual seven days, and return for a final glance-over once my comments have been responded to. Thanks! Ruby 2010/2013 19:13, 26 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, thank you for the review! - JuneGloom Talk 22:14, 26 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Your changes look good! I checked the ratings citation for accuracy, and it now matches the article's content (though I made a small tweak to the citation, since it was technically an Associated Press story -- Highbeam doesn't make this very clear). Well done! I am passing it now. Ruby 2010/2013 02:07, 29 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for that, and for passing the article. :) - JuneGloom Talk 13:31, 29 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]