Talk:The Best of Both Worlds (song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Matthewedwards : Chat 22:19, 22 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Hi. I will be reviewing this article. Please allow me up to 24 hours to read the article thoroughly and provide a complete review. Regards, Matthewedwards : Chat 22:19, 22 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:
Generally the prose isn't too bad, I just have a few suggestions for improvement:

"The Best of Both Worlds" is a pop song performed by American recording artist Miley Cyrus, under the fictional character/alter ego of Hannah Montana. Consider someone who has no kids, who doesn't watch Disney Channel, who lives in a cave, etc, who clicks Special:Random. They might not have any idea who Hannah Montana is, so it's better to provide as much WP:CONTEXT as you possibly can, especially in the opening sentence. Try "The Best of Both Worlds" is a pop song by American singer–songwriter and actress Miley Cyrus, performing as Hannah Montana, the alter ego of Miley Stewart, characters she plays on the Disney Channel television series Hannah Montana. Now, in the first line you've let the reader know that Cyrus plays Miley Stewart and Hannah Montana in a TV show on Disney. (Also, Hannah Montana isn't technically an alter ego of Miley Cyrus.)

Try not to hide links as "easter eggs". It was released as the lead single from the soundtrack to the first season of Hannah Montana on March 28, 2006. people will assume that "soundtrack" links to "soundtrack" rather than the Hannah Montana soundtrack page, so consider something like It was released as the lead single from the Hannah Montana soundtrack album on March 28, 2006. I suggest removing the link to season 1 because if the reader really wants to get there, he can do so via the link to the TV series.

"The Best of Both Worlds" is most culturally popular for being the theme song doesn't sound right. "culturally" is a filler word, and could be removed without the sentence losing any of its meaning, but "most popular" in this context also sounds wrong. You're not saying ' "The Best of Both Worlds" is the most popular'; that would be okay. Anyways, this isn't stated anywhere else in the article, so it should have a reference. You should probably just say "The Best of Both Worlds" is the theme song

A live version is available on Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert[5] and as a karaoke in the soundtrack's karaoke series. you need punctuation before the reference, and also the last part doesn't sit right. Is the live version available as a karaoke, or do you mean a karaoke version is abvailable?

The song is one with a high use of bubblegum pop and some pop rock elements. --> "The song has elements of bubblegum pop and pop rock" flows better

The song received critical some praise, huh?

with critics claiming the song was written well and that the concept of the song was "weird." one is a positive, the other is slightly negative, so "but" should be used instead of "and"

Despite only reaching number ninety-two on the Billboard Hot 100, "The Best of Both Worlds" achieved average commercial outcomes for Cyrus in different regions. You shouldn't use "Despite" and "only" (See criteria 4 below), and what do you mean by regions? Regions in the US or international? I think "The Best of Both Worlds" reached number 92 on the Billboard Hot 100, and achieved average commercial success internationally.

Although the song never received a music video, does a song technically "receive" a music video? The rest of the sentence contradicts the first part, because the concert footage was the music video.

Cyrus promoted the song by performing it in several venues. This includes as the opening act... Avoid short choppy sentences. Saying "Cyrus promoted the song by performing it in several venues, including during the opening act..." is better

and as the closing number on her first headlining concert tour of the same name. I would add "own" --> "and as the closing number on her own first headlining concert tour" WRT "of the same name", unless the reader actually clicks on that link and navigates away from this page, it's possible they won't know what you mean, so if you could actually say "Best of Both Worlds Tour" somehow, that would be better.

The duo wrote the majority of Hannah Montana and continued writing songs for the franchise, "the majority" is vague, and is one of the words to WP:AVOID. Do you mean they wrote the majority of the songs on the show, or the majority of the episodes? Also, you say "continued to", does this mean they don't any more?

In the song, Montana talks about the privileges and advantages that are faced in leading in two lives with references to Orlando Bloom, concerts, friendship and film premieres. You're discussing this in "real world" terms, so "Cyrus sings", not "Montana talks".

The song received mediocre airplay due to it not being released for mainstream radio and only Radio Disney. Flip the sentence around so it's "The song received mediocre airplay due to it being released to Radio Disney, but not to other mainstream radio stations."

"The Best of Both Worlds" debuted and peaked at number ninety-two on the Hot 100, spending one more week before falling from the chart.[12] In the same week, the song charted at number seventy-one on the Pop 100 and fell from the chart the week after.[13] Start the sentence with "It", since you're still discussing the same element from the previous sentence. With regards to "In the same week"; does this refer to the week of August 12, or the week when it dropped out of the Hot 100? It's unclear at the moment

Later in 2008, "Later" is unnecessary

Along with "Who Said," "Just Like You," "Pumpin' Up the Party," "The Other Side of Me" and "This Is the Life," Cyrus performed the song on the concert taping for the first season of Hannah Montana. Turn this into an active sentence by saying "Cyrus performed "The Best of Both Worlds", along with "Who Said," "Just Like You," "Pumpin' Up the Party," "The Other Side of Me" and "This Is the Life", on the concert taping for the first season of Hannah Montana." Also, the link for "first season of Hannah Montana" links to the article about the soundtrack album, not the article about the first season.

Cyrus, dressed as Montana ... performed complex choreography and acting out There is a switch from past to present tense here; it should all be in past tense.

acting out several of the song's features I don't understand this. What are the song's features? According to the Background section, the features are teen pop with electric guitars, synths and backing vocals influenced by dance, rock and country music.

Although the song never received an official music video, this performance was premiered on Disney Channel as promotional video for the series. So isn't this performance the official promotional video? "~~Was~~ premiered", too. And don't say "Although" (see criteria 4, below)

On June 23, 2006 Montana performed the song, "I Got Nerve", and "If We Were a Movie" as in Disney's Typhoon Lagoon. --> "On June 23, 2006 Montana performed "The Best of Both Worlds", "I Got Nerve", and "If We Were a Movie" in Disney's Typhoon Lagoon." Also, how did Montana perform it? You should be saying, "Cyrus, in character as Hannah Montana,"

On October 23, 2006 Montana performed the song and "I Got Nerve" on Good Morning America. The following day, Cyrus dressed as Montana to perform "I Got Nerve" and "The Best of Both Worlds" on Live with Regis and Kelly. Again, Montana didn't perform it, and these two sentences could be condensed into something smaller: "Cyrus appeared dressed as Hannah Montana on Good Morning America and Live with Regis and Kelly to promote the single." (It's not necessary to say what else she sung, as it draws attention away from the single, the article's subject)

Montana performed the song at the 2006 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. As Montana, Cyrus performed the song when she opened for the Cheetah Girls' 2006 concert tour The Party's Just Begun Tour on twenty dates.[20] Again, Montana didn't perform. It's a fictional character. Perhaps you could say at the beginning that each time Cyrus performed it, she dressed in character as Hannah Montana. The sentences would be so much less repetitive that way.

The event ~~later became~~ televised on several international Disney Channels.
She most recently performed "The Best of Both Worlds: The 2009 Movie Mix" Unlink "Movie" here, but try to work it into a sentence where it makes sense.
Corrected all issues addressed above. -- Ipodnano05 (talk) 05:14, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
B. MoS compliance:
Per WP:OVERLINK, don't link common words and terms, which will allow your high-value links to stand out more. pop "adolescent", "electric guitars", "synths" and "backing vocals", "dance music", "rock", "country", "pop star", "concerts", "friendships", "world premieres"
Unlinked. -- Ipodnano05 (talk) 05:16, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:
Is it necessary to have 3 references for "1-Track Digital Single" and "2-Track CD Single" it's hardly contentious. I think 1 would suffice. Same for the charts and peaks. Just go with one reference for each position
Refs 2, 3 and 27 don't appear to be formatted correctly
One source for each. -- Ipodnano05 (talk) 15:15, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
Refs to Amazon.com aren't usually permitted because it's sales site
Removed source. -- Ipodnano05 (talk) 02:51, 25 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
What makes http://kidstvmovies.about.com/od/hannahmontana/fr/hannahm.htm a reliable source? The article is written by Carey Bryson, a mother of two.. she doesn't appear particularly notable in this field, or a published author/journalist.
Removed source. -- Ipodnano05 (talk) 17:01, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Ref 17, aCharts, isn't considered as reliable as Hung Median. See WP:CHARTSCHART.
Searched Hung Median and none of the charts were listed there. Here's the link [1]-- Ipodnano05 (talk) 14:44, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:
Many of our GA and FAs tell us something about the musical structure of the songs. See this, this, this, which are FAs, and this, this, this, and this, which are GAs. If you see who nominated them, they should be able to help you get you the information from Musicnotes.com. If this is not feasable, don't worry about it too much, but I think it would be interesting information to include.
Added song's composition thanks to Legolas2186. -- Ipodnano05 (talk) 04:51, 26 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
B. Focused:
In the live performances section, there's a lot of discussion about what other songs she sang when she performed this one. It's not particularly relevant, so I would remove some, if not all, of them
Removed all but one. And two of them say that she performed the song and two others, for example. -- Ipodnano05 (talk) 05:36, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Despite only reaching number ninety-two on the Billboard Hot 100, "The Best of Both Worlds" Avoid using "despite" and "only" which introduce bias into the article

Avoid "although", too: Although the song never received a music video,

The two reviews from EW and Allmusic are okay, but are there any others? Two isn't really enough. And if you can find any reviews that criticize it at all, that would remove some of the positive bias. The paragraph begins, "The song received generally positive reviews from critics." so that would imply that not all were positive.

However, the song debuted at number sixty-four on Hot Digital Songs which led to it making into the Billboard Hot 100, for the week ending August 12, 2006. Avoid using "however" (which should never be used to start a sentence anyways). Just go with "The song debuted at number 64 on the Billboard Hot Digital Songs chart, which led to it charting on the Hot 100 for the week ending August 12, 2006."
However, it became Cyrus's highest peaking single in the United Kingdom, as Montana. Same as before, don't use "However".
Did all that was stated except number three because I searched and there are no other review of the song. -- Ipodnano05 (talk) 05:18, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That's okay then. I suspected that might be the case, but I wanted to check all the same. Matthewedwards : Chat 06:50, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
File:Bestofbothworlds.ogg needs a Fair Use Rationale
B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Images need Alt text
Added fair use rationale and alts. -- Ipodnano05 (talk) 05:27, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
Despite the comments I have about the prose, it isn't written as badly as I expected a Disney subject to be. So good work on that. The article is nearly there, it just needs some spit-and-polish and finishing touches. I'm putting the article on hold for 7 days so that editors can address the comments. Good luck. Matthewedwards : Chat 03:41, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi. I've noted that you've begun working on the article. I've also given the prose a brief copy edit. Looks like it's just criteria 2 and 3A that need looking at. Good luck! Matthewedwards : Chat 06:50, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Based on the recent edits following the review, I have passed the article as a GA. Congratulations! Matthewedwards : Chat 14:05, 26 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]