Talk:The Abducted/GA1
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Reviewer: Glimmer721 (talk · contribs) 01:28, 4 November 2011 (UTC)
Will review soon. Glimmer721 talk 01:28, 4 November 2011 (UTC)
Inital comments
[edit]A few things I spotted; haven't looked through the plot section yet
- "...most critics praised Anna Torv and Lance Reddick's performances" - I would introduce these actors (especially because Torv is not in the infobox) by saying "...most critics praised lead actress Anna Torv and guest actor Lance Reddick's performances."
Done (Reddick is a full member of cast though) Ruby 2010/2013 23:10, 4 November 2011 (UTC)
- In the lead, mention that the two-week break was due to Thanksgiving.
- "Holness and Royo had previously guest starred on Fringe before." As the same characters?
- "Over there, Christopher Broyles is seen watching an episode of an old television series called The Shadow, which was a 1930s pulp magazine turned radio show in our universe." Something sits funny about this sentence, especially the first-person pronoun. Also, "over there" is kind of in-universe; I would replace it with "in the parallel universe".
- "...finds a children's book her niece owns called Burlap Bear Goes To The Woods in Christopher's room" Why is this a cultural reference? (unless there is something I'm missing).
- Several reviewers noted this, so I felt it was worth placing in the article. A children's book is a cultural reference (and knowing the writers, it probably has greater significance, maybe a red herring to a future plotline). If anything comes up online from a reliable source, I'll be sure to add it in. Ruby 2010/2013 02:21, 5 November 2011 (UTC)
- The A.V. Club reviewer--why did he enjoy it more than the previous episode? Did he say anything negative about it? Positive?
Done (added another quotation) Ruby 2010/2013 02:18, 5 November 2011 (UTC)
- Also, the lead says that most critics praised the acting of Torv and Riddick, but only one critic is quoted saying so.
Done (clarified, added a little more from critics) Ruby 2010/2013 02:18, 5 November 2011 (UTC)
- There are also no images, which is not a requirement but if one could be found it would satisfy criteria 6.
- I looked through various screenshots online, but none of them seemed justifiable to add to the article. Unfortunately (I know how much an image can spice up an article :/ ) Ruby 2010/2013 02:18, 5 November 2011 (UTC)
- Plot
- Wyatt Toomy was played by two actors?
Done (the character had a young and old version; I removed the older actor from that parentheses) Ruby 2010/2013 02:18, 5 November 2011 (UTC)
- "After injecting herself with the same which drugs Walternate (John Noble) had used on her, she enters the tank and soon finds herself back in the prime universe at night..." The same what?
- "She encounters a cleaning lady, and as she feels herself being dragged back to the parallel universe, gives her a message to pass along to Peter..." The pronouns are quite confusing here; I think it should be rewritten so it is clear which is referring to Olivia and the cleaning lady.
Glimmer721 talk 23:04, 4 November 2011 (UTC)
- Thank you very much for the review. I believe all of your comments have been addressed. Ruby 2010/2013 02:18, 5 November 2011 (UTC)
- You're welcome. I will pass this. Glimmer721 talk 17:33, 5 November 2011 (UTC)