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Talk:Terutomo Yamazaki

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Necessary changes to improve article

[edit]

My suggestions for improvement (Kpstewart (talk) 04:09, 2 September 2009 (UTC))[reply]

1. Many sentences and paragraphs can not be understood in English and need to be rewritten entirely. I tried to do some copyediting to make the article a little easier to read in English, but some sections are completely unreadable.

2. The article seems to contain a lot of trivia-type information that may not be relevant to an encyclopedia article. The organization of the article also needs to be improved so that it flows better.

3. More in-line citations are needed through out the article. I have not checked the cited sources as I can not find them anywhere, but they should be checked to see if they are reliable.

4. Photos would be helpful.