Talk:Teliko/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: TBrandley (talk · contribs) 17:19, 2 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Just a quick suggestion: the reception section could at least use the review from the Sherman and Person book...I know Gen. Quon has it; he could scan it for you. Glimmer721 ^talk 22:40, 2 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Where are the production code's referenced? You can just reference the fourth season DVD set, actually.
Where's the running time referenced?

Done. Bruce Campbell (talk) 23:31, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The image's caption needs to be clarified, "one of the victims" one of the African-American victims?

Actually, all of the victims of the episode are black. He's actually not "African-American", because he's not American. So I'll just add "black", though I guess that's technically redundant (since you can't suck black pigment out of a white guy anyway). Bruce Campbell (talk) 23:31, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Link "science fiction" to "science fiction on television" per WP:UNDERLINK
"The episode aired" clarify that is its original airing
"The episode aired" then next sentence also says "The episode", change it up to "It" in this case
Link "Nielsen household rating" to "Nielsen rating" per WP:UNDERLINK
"in its initial" check your grammar, "in" should be "upon"
"the season premiere" fourth season?
In the third paragraph of the lede, "the" is used too much for the opening of the new sentence, change to words like "This", "That", "It" and such
"of the episode also drew" remove "also"; unneeded
Per WP:TVPLOT, you may need to trim the article's plot, cutting out unneeded sentences and words
Why is "African-American" linked in plot, but not lede
"seemingly attacks" remove "seemingly"
Need to add actors in brackets after character's name appear, in the plot section mainly, please check
"approved the storyline" say "this" instead of "the"

All done. Bruce Campbell (talk) 23:31, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Atlanta, Georgia" two separate links

Atlanta, Georgia just redirects to Atlanta so I just linked both to the former. Bruce Campbell (talk) 23:31, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Only Fox should be linked, without network
"premiered" to "originally aired"
Before giving onto reviews, I'd expect a start like "This episode received generally ..." or something
Double quotes (") in reference titles should be single quotes ('), in order to avoid doubling, per WP:MOS
"References" ; bolding is a WP:ACCESS concern, and should be an actual header
"The X-Files Wiki" italicize "The X-Files"

All done. Bruce Campbell (talk) 23:31, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Overall; good job. Once the concerns are addressed, I will pass the article based on the good article criteria, though I have gone further. TBr and ley 18:17, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

As usual, thanks for the fast review (lord knows the process isn't always a fast one). Shortened the plot summary, fixed linking problems, changed missing/unnecessary words, etc, etc. All standard errors, unless otherwise noted. And of course if I missed anything just let me know. Bruce Campbell (talk) 23:31, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

As for Glitter's comment, I think with a severe copy edit and an expansion this article has decent FA potential. I found a lot of stuff on themes. So I may end up pinging Quon about what can be added sooner or later anyway, as he's much better at this than I. Bruce Campbell (talk) 23:31, 4 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

No problem about the review. I passed the article now. TBr and ley 04:14, 6 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Possible typo

There is a sentence in the article: "The episode's antagonist Aboah, escapes the FBI by fitting into a dinner cart, a feat that was compared to slaves escaping in unconformable slave ships." Was the word "unconformable" intended to actually be "uncomfortable", by any chance? The latter would make more sense in the context of squeezing into narrow spaces. 2604:2D80:6984:3800:0:0:0:EBA2 (talk) 11:45, 3 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Humor

Someone should write a fanfic where Samuel Aboah is diagnosed with cancer, and then Leonard Betts tells him:

“I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black!”

Come to think of it, I wonder if that lyric actually inspired the show’s creators. The song was released earlier, after all. Only they would know. 2600:1014:B033:BF7E:3830:3877:E6BF:80B4 (talk) 23:52, 29 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]