Talk:Tang Jinhua/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 18:50, 13 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll give this a review shortly. Wizardman 18:50, 13 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Here's what I found:

The lead should be expanded.
Any personal life information out there?
The icons for the table colors I'd move to the top of the table rather than the bottom.
"doubles player who competes at the highest level for some years now." Confusing as written; what is the badminton highest level, and the for some years part seems unnecessary.
"She won the women's and mixed doubles categories with different partners, Tang graduate from Hunan University." Should be a period, not a comma. Also should be graduated.
"In 2009, she conquered the World Junior girls' doubles title" Just say won, conquered is definitely unecessary.
The paragraphs all start with "In [year]," which gets repetitive quickly.
"In 2012 Tang Jinhua and Xia Huan were victorious winners" repetitive, just say victorious or winners.
"At the end of 2013 Tang Jinhua surprisingly lost the final" rm surprisingly (technically false anyway as the source doesn't say that)
"and this would become an instant success winning" More superfluous wording added in that is not needed. There's a couple other spots that I noticed similar issues as well.
"In 2015, " this one has a comma but the rest don't; keep consistent.
As a whole, the prose is just that she won this tournament or lost that tournament, with virtually no context or anything else added to the article.

Long story short, this needs a lot of work to be a good article. Some extra expansion is needed to avoid too much repetition, and it needs a rewrite rather than just a simple copyedit from another user. On the plus side the references all appear reliable and placed properly as far as I can see, and the images and tables are all good. As a result I have to fail the article at this time due to the major issues with the prose, as it needs too much work for me to be comfortable putting it on hold. Wizardman 20:45, 13 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]