Talk:Sweat (Ciara song)/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Thevampireashlee (talk · contribs) 12:42, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
Can't wait to begin reviewing this article. I will start either today or tomorrow. --Thevampireashlee (talk) 12:42, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
Initial comments
[edit]As it stands, the article is in pretty good shape, what would be expected of a GA for a song such as this. Structurally, the article is well put-together. The lead appears sufficient. Most of the sources are reputable. (I'm on the fence about source number 5). The image is appropriately licensed. A sound clip may help enhance the article, although one is not required. The word "song's" in the second sentence of "Chart performance" is inappropriately apostrophized. Detailed suggestions will begin shortly. --Thevampireashlee (talk) 12:42, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Responses
- Singer's room was awarded best "Soul Music Site" by the 2010 Soul Train Awards and XXL magazine called it a reputable website. Its been used in other GAs so I assumed its ok. I can replace with something else if need be.
- I considered a song sample but since the song isn't actually available to purchase, nor was it released as a free download technically speaking there isn't a away of legally obtaining a sample unless a radio recording would be permitted.
- Correct apostrophe issue. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 13:45, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- That's fine. No sound clips is needed. Thanks for the insight on Singer's Room. I looked it up and couldn't find anything notable right away. I can verify what you said though, so I'd definitely consider it notable.--Thevampireashlee (talk) 13:52, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Sources
- Rap-Up is cited thrice, but it's formatted differently each time. Rap Up, Rap-Up.com, and rap-up.com. For consistency sake, make them all uniform. Plus, the publication is a magazine, so it needs italics.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Billboard.biz is cited thrice as well, but source 10 links to Billboard (magazine) and Prometheus Global Media. Source six is the first instance of this, so that should be linked to instead.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Source 13 - we have an article on Buzz Media. Idolator needs to be Idolator (website) with a pipe.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Lead
- "Jive had failed to support Ciara creatively and to some extent financially on previous albums..." - "had" is redundant. There needs to be a comma after "albums". Does the Background section expand on how Ciara was creatively and financially set back because of the previous record deal? Right now, it seems a bit ambiguous. And how is something "to some extent" financially hampered? Would simply saying "creatively and financially" be best? And is the dangling particle necessary? It seems unnecessary to rehash that by saying, "...contributing the poor commercial performance of both records."
- corrected the introduction stuff. Looking at the information, we know that Ciara had to pay $100,000 for the last music video from Basic Instinct, I could include this information if required. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "Ciara's new deal with Epic Records reunites..." - should be written in way that's timeless, so that it won't require editing in the future. Perhaps simply omitting the word "new" will suffice.
Done corrected — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17
- 37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Missing comma between "album" and "Goodies" in the last sentence of the first paragraph.
Done corrected — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17
- 37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Lead single should be linked in the first line of the second paragraph and delinked in the last paragraph.
Done corrected — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17
- 37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "Sweat' received a mixed reception from music critics." - awkward wording. Should be: "Sweat received mixed reviews from music critics." or something similar. "Music critics" could be linked to Music journalism. That's common for song articles.
Done corrected — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17
- 37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "club banger" seems to be jargon. I would recommend replacing it with [[Electronic dance music|club music]].
Done corrected — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17
- 37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- There appears to be a comma splice after the word "banger". Replace it with a period, leaving "Likening" as the introductory clause of the proceeding sentence.
Done corrected — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17
- 37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Another comma splice. "...radio stations on June 18, 2012, however its planned..." should be "...radio stations on June, 18, 2012; however, its planned..."
Done corrected — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17
- 37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Background and release
- Comma after Basic Instinct (2010) in the first sentence.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "underperformed" is one word.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- The colon should be a semi colon, with a comma after "while".
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "...the Fantasy Ride era..." is jargon. Casual reads will not be able to identify with this.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "wasn't interested in first week sales or performance". is enclosed with quotation marks as if it was a direct quote, but the source does not support that. This phrase is never used in the text, although I do see how the original editor adapted it. Either a direct quote should be added, or the marks should be removed.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "...a Gerrick G. Kennedy..." is gimmicky and archaic. Why not simply, "However, Gerrick Kennedy, from..."?
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "...either Fantasy Ride or Basic Instinct." perhaps I'm nitpicking, but shouldn't this be: "...both Fantasy Ride and Basic Instinct."?
Done changed — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "including" in the next sentence should be "included".
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Again "commercially viable" is not a direct quote appearing in the Rap-Up source that follows. I think it needs to be cited or removed. Otherwise, it's potentially defamatory original research.
Done removed as it was speculation — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 17:37, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
Stopping for now...--Thevampireashlee (talk) 16:40, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Composition and reviews
- Compositions should not be plural.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "uptempo" is not supported by the source.
- the very nature of club music is uptempo. As per the article electronic dance music the up-tempo nature is given by the beats per minute. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "base-heavy" is a spelling error. Should be "bass-heavy". Bass should probaby link to Roland TR-808
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Club song could probably link to Electronic dance music again, with rapper linking to rapping.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- A comma belongs after "release" in the next sentence. Another comma after "singles" in the sentence after that.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- " "Sweat" is a throwback to Ciara's roots, drawing comparison to and inspiration from the singer's previous singles "Goodies" (2004) and "Like a Boy" (2006)" is not supported by the Rapfix source. No instance of "throwback" or "roots" are mentioned. Goodies is not mentioned, although a slight pun on the word "goodie" seems to infer that. Like a Boy is mentioned, though. Revise the sentence so that it mentions the similarities between "Sweat" and "Like a Boy".
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
Not done. Only "Goodies" was removed. The other errors were not corrected. The sentence makes no sense now and is worse than before. --Thevampireashlee (talk) 22:12, 30 August 2012
(UTC)
Done, chaned. Used the phrase "brings us back to Ciara’s old roots" as given in the MTV source. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 20:34, 31 August 2012 (UTC)
- Missing a comma after "Townsend".
- ✗ Not done, commas are not required before the word 'and'. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Missing a comma after the word "line".
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
Otherwise, okay.
- Chart performance
- "Sweat' made its chart debut on June 23, 2012 on , where it debuted straight at number one." is far too wordy, reusing the same words. Try trimming it down. Suggestion: "On June 23, 2012, "Sweat" debuted at number one on the US Bubbling Under R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart."
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Airplay is an unfamiliar term to those who aren't music enthusiasts. Link to it.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- "It would go on to peak at number eighty-six." should be "It went on to peak..."
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Table is good.
- Release history
- All good here.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
- Categories, templates, and references.
- 2012 singles and Epic Records singles? Should these be changed to "promotional singles" or simply "songs"? Hair (Lady Gaga song), a GA promotional single, uses "songs" as opposed to singles.
Done corrected. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:36, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
Other than this, great job. After these last few changes are made, I'll promote this to good. Excellent work and thanks for being patient with me. :) --Thevampireashlee (talk) 19:19, 30 August 2012 (UTC)
Overall appraisal
[edit]GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- References listed at the bottom under a header.
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- All challeng-able statements are sourced reliably.
- C. No original research:
- All possible instances of OR have been resolved.
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- Adequately coverage for a song of this type.
- B. Focused:
- Stays on topic.
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Any biases have been resolved.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars.
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- No relevant images available. Single cover is appropriately licensed, sourced, and rationalized for fair use.
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- No images available.
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Awaiting final changes.
- Pass or Fail: