Talk:Surachman Tjokroadisurjo
Surachman Tjokroadisurjo has been listed as one of the Social sciences and society good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: August 8, 2023. (Reviewed version). |
A fact from Surachman Tjokroadisurjo appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 18 December 2021 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
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Did you know nomination
[edit]- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Theleekycauldron (talk) 21:44, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
- ... that as finance minister, Surachman Tjokroadisurjo often carried home suitcases of cash? Source: [1] "Pada waktu menjadi Menteri Keuangan Ir. Surakhman sering membawa pulang uang berkoper-koper" -> "When he was Finance Minister, Ir. Surakhman would often carry home suitcases of money".
- Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Hog Island (Wisconsin)
- Comment: Not in the "stealing the money" context as much as "taking it home because idk where to put it". Still, that sounds quite hook-y.
Created by Juxlos (talk). Self-nominated at 09:44, 28 November 2021 (UTC). General eligibility:
- New enough:
- Long enough:
- Other problems:
Policy compliance:
- Adequate sourcing:
- Neutral:
- Free of copyright violations, plagiarism, and close paraphrasing:
- Other problems:
Hook eligibility:
- Cited:
- Interesting:
- Other problems: - n
Image: Image is freely licensed, used in the article, and clear at 100px. |
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QPQ: Done. |
Overall: Nice hook, but ALT0 states cash was taken; text says bonds or funds. How about clearing up this ambiguity?
- @Georgejdorner: how about “storing the cash in suitcases”? Juxlos (talk) 03:37, 1 December 2021 (UTC)
- Most excellent! You are gonna pull some page views with this.Georgejdorner (talk) 05:19, 1 December 2021 (UTC)
- @Juxlos and Georgejdorner: I'm not sure how y'all want to modify the hook; could you please make sure it's in its final state before i promote it? theleekycauldron (talk • contribs) (they/she?) 18:58, 9 December 2021 (UTC)
- @Theleekycauldron: It is as it is currently written, I modified the article prose. Juxlos (talk) 23:31, 9 December 2021 (UTC)
- Most excellent! You are gonna pull some page views with this.Georgejdorner (talk) 05:19, 1 December 2021 (UTC)
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Surachman Tjokroadisurjo/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 10:33, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
Happy to review the article. AM
Review comments
[edit]Lead section / infobox
[edit]Link cabinets (Cabinet (government)).
- Linked
National Revolution – amend to its full title, ‘Indonesian National Revolution’, for the sake of clarity.
- Changed
Delft Institute of Technology – I would include that this is in the Netherlands.
- Added
returned to Indonesia – during this period, was it not referred to as 'the East Indies'?
- Depending on who you asked, but yeah, fair enough, changed
Minister of Finance is a duplicate link.
- Delinked
1 Early life
[edit]Link internship.
- I feel like this will be a bit of WP:OVERLINK.
- Understood. AM
descendent - ‘descendant’
- Fixed
the third – ‘was the third’.
- Fixed
Europeesche Lagere School – has no italics.
- Straightened up, and same for the next name
Add a comma after went to the Netherlands.
- Added
Amend Prior returning to the Indies to something like ‘Before returning to the East Indies’, to improve the prose.
- Amended
2 Early career
[edit]Link laboratory; nationalists (Nationalism).
- Same, laboratory feels like a bit of overlinking?
After returning – amend to ‘After returning from Germany’ for the sake of clarity.
- Fair enough
rejecting a job offer in the police department – this should a separate sentence, to improve the prose.
- Separated
Introduce Sukarno.
- Done
Add a comma after donations.
- Added
3 Political career
[edit]hike – ‘increase’ is more encyclopedic.
- Done
- Link civil servants; bureaucrats; government bonds; opium; tin mining; nationalisation.
Is the first two needed? Linked the other 3.
- I'm going with the flow here... :) AM
Not long after, however is redundant text and can be omitted.
- Removed
Why significant?to poor archiving – it’s not clear to me what this phrase means.would default on – makes little sense.
- Reworded the section in question for the 3 points above. Does it flow better now?
- Looks fine now. AM
inside of his home - ‘inside his home’?
- Fixed
Operation Product – a brief explanation (perhaps in brackets) would be useful.
- Would that suffice?
- Looks OK. AM
of UI - ‘of the UI’ sounds better.
- Fixed
He was also still active in Bandung, lecturing – ‘He continued to lecture’ sounds better imo.
- Updated to "lectured", I just realize I never said he lectured that before.
4 Personal life
[edit]His wife, Sunarti, was 16 – no commas are needed here.
- Fixed
While – ‘and’.
- Which one do you mean? If it's the personal life 'while', shouldn't it be more appropriate as it's a comparison?
- Apologies, my brain melts after several hours of GA reviews.AM
Why at the time?
- Same as above
- She was the sole daughter of the regent of Grobogan at the time - implies that another daughter reappears later... I would simplify it to 'She was the sole daughter of the regent of Grobogan at the time'. Feel free to ignore me here. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:36, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
5 References
[edit]No plagiarism found.
- The link for Anderson’s book is dated 1972, not 2006.
- I hate versions. Fixed
- Ref 17 (Suryomenggolo) should be listed in full within the Sources section, not here. Only a short citation (Name/Year/Page) is needed in this section.
- Relocated
On hold
[edit]I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 12 August to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 16:07, 4 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Amitchell125: Issues addressed, I believe. Juxlos (talk) 12:42, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
Passing
[edit]Passing now, great work Juxlos. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 15:40, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
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