Talk:Sunidhi Chauhan/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Yashthepunisher (talk) 12:05, 4 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this. Cheers! Yashthepunisher (talk) 12:05, 4 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"..made her career debut at the age of 13". --> thirteen.

Changed Shaphiu (talk) 14:09, 4 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Merge the next two sentences.
The last sentence of first para should start with something like, "It won her..."
Why not delink the songs that don't have their own article and mention the films name along with it.
"..and was described in the media" --> described by the media.
"2006 was one of the most successful years in her career.." This sentence should be more neutrally worded.
"The following year, she was prominently recognized.." Again. Prominently recognized?
The fact that she was featured in a different version of "Heartbeat" should be mentioned here.

You meant to say "should'nt be mentioned here"? Because it is already included in the lead. Removing the sentence for now. Correct me if wrong. Shaphiu (talk) 14:09, 4 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

No. It should be mentioned. I'm saying that you need to mention that she featured in a different version of the song. Kindly restore the sentence from the lead. Yashthepunisher (talk) 14:17, 4 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, my bad. Done!

12th --> twelfth, for consistency.
The sentence about her being the judge of Indian Idol and The voice, should be rephrased and merged.
"Being an inspiration to many upcoming singers". This sentence is quite WP:POV-ish.
There is one dead link and some links need archive.

Dead links archived Shaphiu (talk) 14:09, 4 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Archive the green links and try to fix the blue ones by replacing them.

Done!

Rest of the comments coming soon. Yashthepunisher (talk) 12:46, 4 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

Delink India, per WP:OLINK.
Link Rajput.
Her mother's name should be mentioned.

Couldn't find any source indicating such. What to do now?

Link Dilshad Garden.
"She discontinued studies" --> She discontinued her studies.
"..her dad quit his career". quit his career or quit his job?
Remove the "After shifting there" bit as its redundant to mention it again. You can rephrase it with something like: "After that.."
Anything about how she bacame Sunidhi from Nidhi?

1995–2000: Career beginnings, Mast and Fiza

13 --> thirteen
realized --> realised, its Indian english.
"For the next two years, she mostly did background scores." Was she composing those scores?
"For the song "Ruki Ruki Si", Chauhan". Replace 'Chauhan' with 'she' to avoid repetition.
"Ditto for the last sentence of second para.
"while recording of the song.." --> as recording of the song.
"Chauhan received another nomination for Best Female Playback Singer". Which ceremony?

Yashthepunisher (talk) 05:30, 5 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Above mentioned changes brought to the article. Shaphiu (talk) 14:17, 5 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

2001–05: Ajnabee, Chameli and Dhoom

"Sukanya Verma of Rediff.com described Chauhan's rendition --> described 'her' rendition.
Mention the year of Ehsaas: The feeling and write 'a' duet with Sonu Nigam, in the same sentence.
"During the year, she teamed up with Ismail Darbar for the first time and released her "most difficult" song of recording; "Ai Ajnabi" from Deewangee." You can write instead: "During the year, she teamed up with Ismail Darbar for the first time and released the song "Ai Ajnabi" from Deewangee which she described as her most difficult song.
Chauhan, alongside Abhijeet performed..". Abhijeet who? mention the full name and put a comma after his name.
"which critics felt that she is.." --> felt that she was. Past tense.
Link M.M Kreem, if he was not linked before.
Mention 'critic' before Priyanka Bhattacharya.
"Her second collaboration with Sandesh Shandilya was." When did the first one happen?
Replace 'Chauhan' with 'her' in the last sentence of third para.
"..which was both critically and commercially appreciated." Commercially appreciated? The last bit should be rephrased.
"And "Saiyan" from Garv is "no different" from A.R. Rahman-composed "Saiyyan" of Nayak (2001)." We shouldn't start sentences with an 'and'.

Yashthepunisher (talk) 06:43, 6 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done Shaphiu (talk) 14:21, 6 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

2006–09: Omkara, Aaja Nachle and Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

"She received further two nominations during the year; "Soniye" from.." --> She received further two nominations during the year for "Soniye" from Aksar.
in 10 other films. --> in ten other films.
Ref 56 is just one review and doesn't justify the 'critically favoured' bit.
Ditto for ref 57.
Link Komal Nahta.
The sentence about Fanaa is too long.
There are too many references for the last sentence of second para. See WP:CITEKILL.
Why not remove the Kajol bit from the third para only mention Madhuri Dixit, since the sentence is too long and confusing.
I think you can replace "JBJ" with 'title track'.
Link Raja Sen.
"However, they found.." --> However, he found.
Replace "the vim it requires" with the "required vim".
Replace 'Chauhan' with 'she' in third para's last sentence.
Chauhan received her eleventh Filmfare nomination.
I didn't get the last bit about "Desi girl". Who are we talking about?
Can you replace Raja Sen's review of Paa with someone else? I think its been overused in the article.

Couldnt find another review from a reliable source. Anything else I can do regarding this? Shaphiu (talk) 15:26, 7 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Shaphiu: You can use these refs [1][2]. Yashthepunisher (talk) 16:49, 7 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The ref for "Raat Ke Dhai Baje" doesn't support the 'critical acclaim' bit, its just one review. Yashthepunisher (talk) 06:59, 7 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done! Shaphiu (talk) 15:26, 7 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

2010–13: Euphoria, Guzaarish and Tees Maar Khan

"2010 marks Chauhan's international singing debut, where she was featured in an alternate version of the song.." --> 2010 marked Chauhan's international singing debut, where she featured in an alternate version of the song.
Link Holi in the next sentence.
"The year marks her ever collaboration with Sanjay Leela Bhansali by recording the international styled carnival song "Udi" from Guzaarish." This needs to be written in a better way.
Replace 'Chauhan' with 'she' in the sentence about her winning Filmfare for Sheila ki jawaani.
I feel there are two many songs of her mentioned from the year 2010, try removing one of them atleast to maintain articles size. Teen Patti, maybe.
The last two sentences of second para also start with 'Chauhan'.
Along with 10 other artists.." --> ten
The year marks Chauhan's first collaboration with her husband Hitesh Sonik by recording the song "Tu" for My Friend Pinto--> The year marked her first collaboration with her husband Hitesh Sonik with the song "Tu" from My Friend Pinto.
"Chauhan proved her versatility by performing Sufi inflected love ballad.." It should be neutrally worded.
Remove the sentence about her dubbing for Rio since it doesn't have much significance. It wasn't a bilingual film.
Remove the 'as the fourth judge' bit from the fourth para's first sentence, as its stretching the prose.
Mention the films name in the following sentence.
In concerned with the last sentence about "Chokra Jawaan". Is it required?
"The year marks Chauhan's second collaboration with Ajay-Atul by recording "Gun Gun Guna" from Agneepath along with Udit Narayan." The 'second-collaboration' bit is repetitive and trivial.
Chauhan performed a high pitched rendition.." --> She performed a high pitched.."
R.Rajkumar review should have a better attribution.
Filmfare should be in caps.

Yashthepunisher (talk) 05:42, 9 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Observing how time taking it was to step by step review each section slowly, I have copy-edited the rest of the sections. I'll quickly move on to source review. Yashthepunisher (talk) 09:57, 10 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Source review

At ref 12, Mid-Day --> Mid Day.
Ditto for ref 102.
Ref 13, Yahoo! --> Yahoo! News.
Ref 17, The Times of Oman --> Times of Oman.
"Awards & Winners" doesn't seem to qualify WP:RS.
Ditto for "Radio and Music".
CNN-IBN --> CNN-News18.
Mention the authors as "|last=|first=" in every reference with the author's name.

Shaphiu. That's it from it. Resolve all the above mentioned queries and it shall pass. Yashthepunisher (talk) 08:24, 12 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:

B. MoS compliance:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail: