Talk:Suicidal Tour/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Idiosincrático (talk) 15:45, 28 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Hilst (talk · contribs) 20:14, 23 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Idiosincrático (talk · contribs) 09:55, 28 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I'd like to review this article. When I first read it, I found the story fascinating and engrossing. It honestly reads like a Hollywood movie. I don't read or speak Portuguese but I don't suspect that it'll be a problem. Idiosincrático (talk) 09:55, 28 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Brazilian Portuguese is wikilinked twice in the lead, probably is only required the first time.
The lead mentions Nazi attacks, there is no mention of any attack in the article and the Costa source states that there was only the threat of Nazi attacks. I suggest rephrasing to: "several problems faced by the club, such as deaths, the threat of Nazi attacks, and a lack of funding."
I'd probably wikilink dysentery the first time it's used in the Manaus section.
Past tense: "Goalkeeper King and striker Papeira are diagnosed with typhoid fever" >>> "Goalkeeper King and striker Papeira were diagnosed with typhoid fever"
"The club would play against Paysandu just three days after the passing" >>> "The club then played against Paysandu, just three days after the passing"

I think this is a good start, I might have more later. Idiosincrático (talk) 10:17, 28 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reviewing my article! Done all :) – Hilst [talk] 10:48, 28 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.