Talk:Stuart Briscoe

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Peacock terms and possible NPOV problems

I tagged this article as having peacock terms some weeks ago, but the tag was removed without making any improvements. Following this, I've removed a couple words from the lead sentence which seem to fit the bill of peacock terms.

The lead sentence originally read, "Dr. Stuart Briscoe is a noted Evangelical Christian international speaker and author". I've removed the words "noted" and "international" as being peacock terms. When the word "noted" is used, there is no attempt to show why or by whom he is noted. The word "international" could be a peacock term as its use is ambiguous in this case. The peacock definition would be Wiktionary's #4, that Briscoe is international in the sense of "the international community of scholars". Furthermore, per MOS:BIO#Opening paragraph #3, the introductory sentence is intended to include information on the subject's nationality. "International" would seem to be in the place of this.

The phrase "continues to reach out daily around the world" in the second paragraph is also concerning, as it says absolutely nothing objective about the subject or his "media ministry".

As to the WP:NPOV issue, there are a number of concerns I have. For example, the third sentence does not in any way discuss Briscoe, but only serves to discuss Elmbrook Church. This could be viewed as a WP:COATRACK issue; discussing the significance of the church in order to make Briscoe seem more significant.

Anyway, I hope this helps trigger discussion, or at least explanation on this subject. —/Mendaliv/^2¢/_Δ's/ 04:00, 31 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I'd also like to note that these problems are equally present in Jill Briscoe. —/Mendaliv/^2¢/_Δ's/ 05:24, 31 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]