Talk:Stefano Callegari (chef)
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Hi, ZiyadNour!
I am reviewing your page as of 23 March 2017 00:19 CET. In case you made any changes after I post my comments, let me know and I'll be happy to review again!
What does the article (or section) do well?It is very concise and right to the point and uses a good tone of voice for a Wiki article. It gives a good brief overview of a topic that is quite unusual, which as the reader I enjoy. This is a type of pizza I have never heard of and am now very interested in trying it.
What changes would you suggest overall?The article is brief and I would recommend on expanding certain sections, such as providing more information on the Chef's background and perhaps also expanding on how the chef came to create the pizza. Also, perhaps adding a section which details how the pizza is made (sort of like a step-by-step directions, if possible) would help the reader understand better how this pizza and made and how it differs from other pizzas.
What is the most important thing that the author could do to improve his/her contribution? References would be important to add at the end of the article to show where you found the information you have in the article. Additionally, I feel like adding photos to the article would be good too (i.e. photos of the restaurant locations, the "Trapizzino" itself, and a photo of Stefano Callegari).
Did you glean anything from your classmate's work that could be applicable to your own? If so, let him/her know!I really like the tone of voice in your writing that you used. I am going to reread my own article and try to implement the tone that you use, as it is non-biased and very straightforward. Schmids (talk) 23:41, 22 March 2017 (UTC)
Hey! This is Lakshmi and I'm editing you page as of 12:42 am March 23rd. Let me know if you make any changes and would like me to take a look again later What does the article (or section) do well? →The article has a proper structure and is outlined well. What changes would you suggest overall? →I would suggest that you add more detail to this passage overall. The introduction is rather brief and mentions the trapizinno without giving much context as to what the trapizzino is. Even in other sections such as Early Life, there seems to be a lack of adequate transitions which could be addressed by adding more information to gap the distances in Callegari's life.
What is the most important thing that the author could do to improve his/her contribution? →I think your number one priority would be to add more sources and collect more information in regards to Callegari. While the structure is there, the details are not. Some places to start would include trying to find out as to why Callegari made the switch from taking a pizza making course to becoming a flight attendant. In addition, you could also collect more details on his first restaurant. Were there any influential figures in his life that stuck with him throughout his journey? Such information can add to the quality of your writing and help tie the pieces together.
Did you glean anything from your classmate's work that could be applicable to your own? If so, let him/her know! →I appreciated how impartial your writing was. It's easy to get excited about something you like (such as pizza) but you were able to maintain a professional and informative tone throughout your writing. LakshmiMod (talk) 04:51, 23 March 2017 (UTC)LakshmiMod