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Talk:Stay Up Late/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Golden (talk · contribs) 19:03, 18 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Lead

  • Add comma after Between 1988 and 1993 to separate the introductory phrase from the main clause.
  • Change an yearly to "an annual".
  • Add comma after explicit.
  • The inclusion of the last two sentences in the first paragraph is confusing because their relation to Stay Up Late isn't clear. If I understand correctly, Stay Up Late was one of the paintings that led to WITF-TV banning erotica. I suggest changing it to something along these lines: "Stay Up Late was one of the paintings that Swords donated to an annual art auction for WITF-TV, and the explicitness of his later paintings, including Stay Up Late, eventually led to the channel banning erotica in 1993."
  • Remove comma after $80 (equivalent to $150 in 2021).
  • Change to commentate on to "to comment on" - We should avoid jargon.
  • Change five city tour to "five-city-tour".

Background

  • Italicize "Omaha" the Cat Dancer and The Secret of NIMH.
  • Change that depict to "which depict".
  • Remove commas before and after named Alice and Bob.
  • Change last sentence to something along these lines: "In 1993, WITF-TV banned erotica from their yearly auction "Gallery 33" due to fear of alienating their audience and losing their FCC license".
  • Wikilink erotica at first mention in article body.

Description

  • You can add the "It's as if Monet had a furry period." (from this source) comment of Oliver to this section.
  • I'm not sure if words like rats and ashtray need to be wikilinked. They may be considered MOS:OVERLINK.

Provenance

  • In my opinion, "History" would be a better section title than "Provenance" because it is a more familiar word to readers.
  • Change offered to buy the painting to "offered to buy it".
  • Change and a $20,000 donation to a food bank. to "and make a $20,000 donation to a food bank".
  • Paraphrase one of the writing for instances to avoid repetition.
  • Change As a part of a October 2021 to "As part of an October 2021".
  • Break up the first sentence of the third paragraph.
  • Change Each museum visited to "Each visited museum".
  • Change lamb chop and neckties probably don't need to be wikilinked.

References

  • Add archive links for refs #3, 5, and 10.

Additional comments

  • Earwig shows no copyvio.
  • All sources are reliable and support the claims for which they're cited.
  • The only picture in the article is relevant and has been appropriately tagged for fair use.
  • Overall, great job. Happy to pass once the above points are addressed.

Golden call me maybe? 20:25, 19 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I see this and will get to it tomorrow. -- Guerillero Parlez Moi 18:34, 21 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Golden All have been done except removing provenance, which is a common term in fine art. -- Guerillero Parlez Moi 20:24, 22 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Guerillero: Great. I have one more suggestion: The first paragraph and the first sentence of the second paragraph of the Provenance section seem to be describing the same event. Both mention the $1,000 purchase and the $20,000 donation. The only new information in the second paragraph is the exact date of the John Oliver episode. So, I suggest adding the date to the first paragraph and removing the sentence from the second paragraph. P.S. Apply the third point I made in the Provenance section to the first paragraph as well. — Golden call me maybe? 20:43, 22 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Golden: I trimmed it, because it was repetitive -- Guerillero Parlez Moi 21:11, 22 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.