Talk:Star Wars Battlefront: Renegade Squadron/GA1

GA Review

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Hi, I'll be assessing this article for GA class promotion and will outline any queries/suggestions here in due course. Someone another 22:36, 7 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

I am still chewing over the article, and will highlight anything remaining below, but the above checklist should give you an idea that this article is close to passing from the get-go. Once I've finished adding things to the list below I'll put the article on hold. Someone another 18:35, 8 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In the lead: "and the controls were generally cited as inadequate." - per WP:SAY 'cited' should only be used when the source is actually citing something else, please reword. I also removed a 'claimed' from the reception section. Could you double-check the reception for such terms as well please? I need to double-check my own nomination for this as well.

Done. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Also in the lead: "local- and internet-based multiplayer modes" - a little jargony, particularly 'local', could you explain that aspect in more general terms please?

Done. Reworded in lead; should be an adequate explanation in the Multiplayer subsection. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In gameplay: "specific areas of territory represented by a floating icon." - where are these icons located, are they on a map screen or present during play?

Done. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Some terms in gameplay are given speech marks, like "tickets", IMO none of them are so unusual that they need separating from the surrounding text this way.

Done. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Still under gameplay "a change from the class-based system of previous games in the series." - talk of character classes is day-to-day stuff for videogamers and role playing gamers, but for the general reader this could do with a brief description so they can see exactly how they are different.

Done. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In their first appearances could you wiklink the planet names to their respective entries on the two alphabetical Star Wars planet lists? The articles on the battles themselves have been redirected to the film page(s) so linking to the planets instead would be the next best thing.

Done. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The images are fine, except that the gameplay shot has a small black bar on the right hand side which is a little distracting, could you chop it with paint or another program and re-upload it please?

✗ Not done - I modified it with Paint, but when I re-uploaded it, the black bar remained. I'm not sure how to make it work. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It will just be your cache (or whatever its properly called, looks fine to me now), if you want to see the changes, just try a refresh. Salavat (talk) 16:17, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"AI-controlled teammates against AI opponents. " - could you spell out artificial intelligence, wikilink it and reword this slightly so that the term has to be used only once in reference to team-mates and opponents (would help the text flow)?

Done. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Remember to italicize the names of any video games/magazines/films etc., I've done so to 'Battlefront' and 'Star Wars' a few times.

Done, as far as I can see. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In reception: "and Eurogamer ~~went as far as~~ calling the lock-on feature "a waste of time".[17][32]" - the statement is skating a little close to being "an exclamation!!", better to lose the embellishment and focus on what was said. Why are two references needed for a direct quote? If there's more info in one of them relevant to that statement then please expand on the point.

Done, the first reference is for the first quote, which is from a different publication. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Reference #11 - a youtube video, noooooooooooooooo :( could you find something else to cite the statement with, please? Unless officially uploaded, YT videos can be a bone of contention due to copyright, and while this one claims to be Lucas Arts it's not the most visually impressive YT userpage considering who's supposed to be behind it. The other issue with YT is that the links might not be as longlived as something hosted on a major gaming site.

Done; removed. It wasn't necessary anyways. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In references could you wiklink the publisher of the source?

Done. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'm putting the article on hold, though I haven't checked each of the internal and external links (which will take quite a while), so other points may be left here. Thanks. Someone another 19:27, 8 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! I'll get to work on your comments this weekend; I'm away from my main computer right now. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 07:06, 9 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Great stuff, I've now checked all the internal and external links (what a chore.. X.X), which are mostly dandy but there's a few further tweaks needed:

Under voice acting, the first voice actor's wikilink is pointing to someone who doesn't appear to be the 'right' guy of that name, can you double check that please? The second voice actor probably is the right one, since it links to a guy who is indeed a voice actor for games, but none of the game's listed are Star Wars when the text here refers to them both being regulars, so again could you double-check please?

Done; removed it all because it wasn't particularly notable anyway. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ref #s 8, 27 and 28 are press releases, please cite them as such using the citation template for press releases.

Done. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ref #s 22-24 are the same source, although they are kept on different 'pages' they are all part of a single article, so rather than linking to each separate page I'd just link to page one and consolidate these references. The same with the GameDaily review (ref #s 14 and 46).

I see your point, but in my opinion it's easier to verify information this way. If it's linked to just one page, a reader might have to read through several pages to find the specific reference. If you feel strongly about it, I'll change it. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 14:37, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If you can sort these and the above list out we should be good to go, I'll check back over the weekend. Someone another 23:15, 9 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent work VanTine, I just tweaked the wikilinked planets to the lead instead of in the plot section, and that's a wrap. Congratulations and thank you, Renegade Squadron is now a Good Article. You might also like to double-check the other article you have nominated for GA for the things highilighted in WP:SAY etc. so there's one less thing to do during its review. Someone another 19:17, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]