Talk:South Asian river dolphin/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Jens Lallensack (talk) 19:44, 3 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Jens Lallensack (talk · contribs) 20:51, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comments soon. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 20:51, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

South Asian river dolphins are toothed whales in the genus Platanista, both of which live – should mention that there are two species before saying "both of which". I would introduce both first with names, and then start a new sentence ("Both species live …").

Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 15:45, 20 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

evidence have evaluated them – don't think that works, needs reformulation

Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 15:45, 20 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Their eyes are tiny and lensless, and instead rely on – the dolphins rely on, not the ears

Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 15:45, 20 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Cladogram: "South Asian river dolphins (Platanistidae)" – the two are technically not the same? Or is the whole family called "South Asian river dolphins"?

They are not the same. LittleJerry (talk) 15:45, 20 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

That's my point, the cladogram indicates these names are synonyms. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 06:18, 3 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The lead could do with information on body size (I had no idea how large they are). Especially important since you have a size comparison in the taxobox.

Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 15:54, 20 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Taxonbox: "Size compared to an average human" – I as reader am not so interested in the human (I think the "average" can be dropped here), but instead the dolphin needs explanation. Which species is depicted here?

It doesn't say which. LittleJerry (talk) 15:45, 20 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Image description says "both". --Jens Lallensack (talk) 06:18, 3 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 14:04, 3 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

more soon. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 21:52, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Jens Lallensack? LittleJerry (talk) 00:41, 28 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

and considered it to the same species as the Ganges river dolphin – "to be of the same"?

Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 23:58, 28 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

; but a smaller form. – "," instead of ";"?

Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 23:58, 28 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

and species Awamokoa tokarahi of late Oligocene New Zealand – some articles missing here?

I don't understand. LittleJerry (talk) 23:58, 28 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

"the species"; "the late Oligocene", it must be I think?

Added to species. It doesn't work for late Oligocene. That is being used as an adjective for New Zealand. NZ during the Oligocene. Like "1970s New York". LittleJerry (talk) 14:02, 3 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

the family Allodelphinidae of early Miocene North Pacific – article missing

Same. LittleJerry (talk) 23:58, 28 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

though Platanista was still unusual in that it developed flatter spirals with larger gaps between them.[7] – why "still"? I don't understand this word in this context.

Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 23:58, 28 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Any functional implications on the cochlea shapes? If this information is kept, adding this would make it much more insightful to the reader. Otherwise they might wonder why they should care about cochlea shapes. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 19:01, 28 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

For low-frequency hearing as stated in the next section. LittleJerry (talk) 23:58, 28 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The curved teeth of these river dolphins – is this still referring to the Ganges species? Could be made clear. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 16:45, 2 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 20:36, 2 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

They can be found in waters over 30 m (98 ft) deep. – So they do not occur in waters shallower than 30 m? (Later you say "They swim on their sides when in shallow water", so I think not). Unless it means that they can dive up to 30 m deep, this information doesn't make much sense to me. Consider removing this sentence.

Fixed. LittleJerry (talk) 14:02, 3 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

That's all, finally! I made more copy edits by myself to be quicker, hope that's ok. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 06:18, 3 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you! LittleJerry (talk) 14:08, 3 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.