Talk:So Amazin'/GA1

GA Review

• I think refs 9, 12, 17, 18, and 21 are not reliable.
• Is there a reason why contemporary R&B has to be piped linked? Why not fully show?
• I think the alternate cover fails under WP:NFCC.
• Reid is the only person identified here, aside from Milian. What about Cool & Dre? Jay-Z? Rich Harrison?
• "So Amazin' debuted at number eleven on the U.S. Billboard 200" Why not use peaked? Or combine the two since it debuted and peaked at number eleven. I think leaving that as is will provoke reaction like what about its debut?
• "selling only 50,000 copies in its first week" The word only here gives weight to and suggest poor sales, so I believe its POV. In addition, why first week sales only? Do you have a source of the over-all.
• "The album saw minor international success, peaking at number sixty-seven on the UK Albums Chart." Is minor here your point of view? Also, is UK only the international market?
• Is moderate success your point of view here?
• What is press notes? I do not know. Sorry.
• "The production by Cool & Dre was said to ensure for" Who said this?
• "The production by Cool & Dre was said to ensure for 'a cohesive whole, with a clear, unmistakable identity', and single, 'Say I', was praised." I think you need to a couple of commas here, I think before and after "Say I". Also, the "and single, 'Say I', was praised" is vague. You mean it is because Cool & Dre ensured this cohesive whole thing that "Say I" was praised? In addition, talking about the criticisms of "Say I" here is over detailing.

*"Milian said that she was hoping to take 'Gonna Tell Everybody', the proposed second single, to another label and shoot a video." Somewhat hanging?

• "whereas usually an album would take six months to a year" This is somewhat an opinion.
• I think the section recording history does not fit with its content. Better the following section be merged to it under the section production.
• "Milian feels that her songs are like a "captured emotion", where she writes down her true experiences." There is something wrong with the tenses?
• The subsection writing seems awkward. The sentences virtually begin with either Milian or She. A good revamp I think would help.
• I think the section label dispute is not part of the production. Better use a two-level header and add it after the release section since it occurred a few weeks after the release.
• "Despite this, disappointing album sales were believed to be the main factor" Who said it was disappointing? And who said it was the main factor? Are there any attributions to these?
• Why its called genre and lyrics? Why music and lyrics?
• "She said that in most cases, even when she had R&B producers, most songs would end up being defined as pop." Who called them pop? Critics?
• "She saw them as extremely talented" Tends to be POVic.
• Same though with the second para under the section genre and lyrics, almost all starts either with Milian and She.

*"So Amazin' failed to reach the top ten on the Billboard 200 albums chart when it debuted at number eleven" There is something wrong with the syntax here.

• Again, the "only" and "minor" stuffs
• "It was released as a single and video, which was shot in Los Angeles and directed by Ray Kay." Information about the video is too much.

*"After being dropped from Def Jam, Milian said that she was hoping to take "Gonna Tell Everybody", the proposed second single, to another label and shoot a video." Same through with this, hanging.

• "He said that even though she was unable to set herself apart from Beyoncé or Janet Jackson, she proved she belongs in their company." I think this is off-topic.
• "Ultimately, he felt that "So Amazin' proves to be anything but"." Hanging. Missing words after but?

I'll put this article on hold for seven days except when necessary. Thank you. --Efe (talk)06:05, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

I struck out everything I have taken care of. I removed ref 12. Refs 9, 17 and 18 are all interviews, which provide most of the info. Ref 21 is not supporting anything controversial, though I could replace it if you need. I will try to fix the rest of the points soon. Thanks for the review. :-) Corn.u.co.pia / Disc.us.sion 09:28, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

Hey, Im sorry. Music Week is reliable. However, why is it that the link directs to accessmylibrary.com? Other questioned sources seem OK to me now. I've checked it. --Efe (talk) 12:03, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

"Milian said that she was hoping to take 'Gonna Tell Everybody', the proposed second single, to another label and shoot a music video." I'm not sure how to fix this.

The album was released way back 2006. So what happened to that plan? If there was no move, I think it would be better to rephrase it or remove. --Efe (talk) 11:37, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Changed it to: "She said that she was hoping to take "Gonna Tell Everybody", the proposed second single, to another label and shoot a music video, but she was not able to." Corn.u.co.pia / Disc.us.sion 06:15, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

I titled the section "Genre any lyrics" because Milian is mainly talking about genre, i.e. R&B, and the lyrics, about Cannon.

I think that's fine. --Efe (talk) 11:37, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

"Ultimately, he felt that "So Amazin' proves to be anything but". This section is supposed to mean that the reviewer thought that the album was anything but "So Amazin'", as the title suggests. Any idea on how to make it clearer? Maybe: Ultimately, he felt that "So Amazin' prove[d] to be anything but" what the title suggested.

You mean the reviewer wants to say that despite the title So Amazin', it comes to him not amazing at all? --Efe (talk) 11:37, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Yes. I changed it to: "He felt that contrary to the album's title, "So Amazin' proves to be anything but"." Better? Corn.u.co.pia / Disc.us.sion 10:57, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Thanks. :-) Corn.u.co.pia / Disc.us.sion 06:33, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

I think everything has been covered. I am unable to find a total figure for the sales, but otherwise, everything has been fixed. Corn.u.co.pia / Disc.us.sion 12:29, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Passed. The article meets the GA criteria. Congratulations. --Efe (talk) 09:58, 24 August 2008 (UTC)