Talk:Sinclair Executive/GA1
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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 17:42, 26 April 2014 (UTC)
I'll give reviewing this article a shot. Not my usual wheelhouse but it seems interesting. Wizardman 17:42, 26 April 2014 (UTC)
Image is good, references appear to all be valid. Here are my issues with the prose:
- "The Sinclair Executive was Clive Sinclair's first venture into the pocket calculator market, and the world's first "slimline" pocket calculator." Hard to explain, but this feels odd as the first sentence of the article. The firsts feel more like an end-of-first paragraph sort, with a new first sentence to be created.
- I've reworded that.
- Texas Instruments should be linked in the lead rather than the body since it's the first mention.
- Done
- "It was well received by foreign markets as well as domestically, with US$1.5 million worth of Executives sold in Japan in early 1974 at six times the price of Japanese models." I see what it's trying to say, but it reads awkwardly. Maybe just note that they sold in Japan at six time the price and cut out the US 1.5 part?
- I've improved it somewhat, and it is now a little less clumsy.
- Merge the one-sentence paragraph into another.
- Done
- "of which 55% were exported" Would adding the number of countries, if available, be helpful to have?
- I didn't find any specific market data on any Sinclair calculators whilst doing research, so doubt it was ever made public.
- "It was found that it had been left on by accident, leading to a current drain on the batteries that overheated them until they burst" This seems like a serious issue, yet only gets this sentence. Was this a one-off or was overheating an issue for many?
- Early electronics were much more exciting! I think this kind of thing was quite common back then. This source mentions it, but isn't specialist (and possibly not even an RS.) Aside from the diplomat story, this eBay listing mentions it but I can't find anywhere else. I don't think they were famous for blowing up, to answer your question.
- "The Executive weighed only 2.5 ounces" not sure the 'only' is needed.
- Removed
- -"not so much a professional calculator - more a piece of personal jewellery.- Missing an endquote
- Fixed.
- "or use a floating decimal point" since that's a redlink, can this be clarified?
- I meant to add a redirect at the time, and I've fixed that.
- "An chip of this kind normally" A chip
- Thanks! Done.
- To me, the structure of the article is a bit odd, with the reception noted in bits and pieces throughout the article rather than in a section. In this case it works, so I won't ask for a restructuring, but keep things like that in mind for future articles.
- I tried to keep the reception of the design, and the awards it got, in the Design section, but it is a bit odd as you say.
- Unrelated to the GA review, but to me it looks like a remote rather than a calculator. Am I nuts?
- It's very big for a pocket calculator (nearly 6 inches long), with a fairly small screen. If they weren't so expensive it would be quite fun to repurpose one with some different electronics. Jamesx12345 23:03, 26 April 2014 (UTC)
I'll put the article on hold and will give it another look, possibly pass it, after the issues are fixed. Wizardman 22:34, 26 April 2014 (UTC)
- Gave it a second read through and everything looks much better, so I'll pass this as a GA. Wizardman 14:16, 27 April 2014 (UTC)