Talk:Siege of Szigetvár/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jezhotwells (talk) 11:47, 8 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I shall be reviewing this article against the Good Article criteria, following its nomination for Good Article status.

Disambiguations: None found in the artcile, but two found in the Ottoman-Hapsburg wars box (Ottoman-Ventian wars & Austro-Ottoman Wars). Jezhotwells (talk) 11:51, 8 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Linkrot: none found. Jezhotwells (talk) 11:51, 8 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Checking against GA criteria

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
The Siege of Szigetvár or Battle of Szigeth (Hungarian: Szigetvári csata, Croatian: Bitka kod Sigeta or Sigetska bitka, Turkish: Zigetvar Savaşı) was a siege of Szigetvár Fortress in Baranya, which blocked Suleiman's line of advance towards Vienna Needs explanation of where Barayan is. Please remember that the general reader won't necessarily know. Done

This was followed by a series of conflicts with the Habsburgs and their allies fighting against the Ottoman Empire. In the Little War in Hungary or Campaigns of Suleiman from 1529 to 1552, both sides exhausted themselves sustaining heavy casualties. Confusing - are we talking about Ferdinand fighting the Hapsburgs or what? Done

In January 1566 Suleiman went to war for the last time.[14] The battle resulted in an Ottoman victory, with heavy losses on both sides. Both commanders died during the battle, Zrinsky in the final charge, and Suleiman in his tent from natural causes. Which battle are we talking about now? Done

~~Ok, the lead is a mess and needs rewriting to be a clear succinct summary of the article. please see WP:LEAD.~~ Done

Zápolya was a supporter of King Louis II whom Suleiman had promised to make the ruler of all Hungary. Confusing - had Suleiman promised this to Zapolya or Louis II? Done

An assault of Buda was driven off by John Szapolyai, Is this the same person as Zápolya?{{done}}

where he met with John II Sigismund Zápolya, to whom he confirmed an earlier promise to make him ruler of all Hungary. very poor prose. Done

Each linked to others by bridges and causeways. needs a verb - "was"? Done

The fall of the castle appeared inevitable, but the Ottoman high command hesitated, for on September the 6th Suleiman died in his tent,[6] but at great effort his death was kept secret. Again poor prose. Done

One disputed view[by whom?] by a historian asserts that, before leading the final sortie by the garrison, Zrinsky ordered a fuse lit to the powder magazine. Both the historian and those who dispute the view need attribution. Done

~~Over all the prose is rather poor and clarification is needed throughout. Probably needs the assistance of a good copy-editor with some knowledge of the subject.~~ Done by user Chaosdruid
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
Well referenced ~~with the exception of the attribution noted above~~, sources appear to be RS, no evidence of OR
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
Sufficient detail without unnecessary trivia.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Images are captioned, licensed and tagged.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
On hold for seven days for the prose to be copy-edited and turned into plain English. I will look at it again then. Jezhotwells (talk) 12:19, 8 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Well, the prose is much improved. I made a few further copy-edits. It could still do with a lot of work, but I am happy to pass it as reasonably well-written. Congratulations! Jezhotwells (talk) 14:32, 9 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Jezhotwells, and thank you for your GA Review. As I understood, most of your remarks are related to copyediting. Since I am not a native speaker of English language, I have made a request at WP:GOCE, and asked for help. User Kevin Murray helped on 25 October 2010, but he also added a lot of new content to the article (expanded Background). Anyway, regarding your GA remarks, I have fixed some by myself, but I will made new request at WP:GOCE (and ask user Diannaa personaly for help). Regarding your remark "Well referenced with the exception of the attribution noted above", can you clarify this please, what needs to be fixed regarding references. Anyway, thanks for your help with the article, and I hope that all remarks will be solved. Regards, Kebeta (talk) 14:07, 8 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, i didn't make myself clear, I was referrring to the comment in the prose section above: One disputed view[by whom?] by a historian asserts that, before leading the final sortie by the garrison, Zrinsky ordered a fuse lit to the powder magazine. Both the historian and those who dispute the view need attribution. WEE need the name of the historian, also the name(s) of those who dispute this. Jezhotwells (talk) 15:08, 8 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I deleted first part of the sentence "One disputed view by a historian asserts that". The reason is - I have found several sources which confirm this, and one which state that it may be disputed. None of them which state that the explosion didn't happened. I also added a note, which referes to the "disputed view". I hope this is OK with you. BTW, I left a notice to Diannaa and to WP:GOCE for further help.--Kebeta (talk) 16:56, 8 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Well, the copyediting by user Chaosdruid is now done. Can you please take a look, and see if all your remarks are resolved. Thanks.--Kebeta (talk) 10:02, 9 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Jezhotwells for your final help with copyediting and for positive GA Review. Regards, Kebeta (talk) 14:52, 9 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]