Talk:Sidney Edgerton/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: –– Jezhotwells (talk) 02:10, 14 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I shall be reviewing this article against the Good Article criteria, following its nomination for Good Article status.

Disambiguations: none found

Link rot: no dead links found

Checking against GA criteria

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
He then began commencing practice, in Akron, Ohio. "began commencing"?

He married Mary Wright (1827 – 1885) on May 18, 1848, but Mary almost ended the relationship, because of Edgerton's religious views. A bit unclear, did she consider ending the relationship after they were married?

One incident that did happen was when Edgerton fell from one of the wagons, and was almost crushed by one of the wheels. "One incident that did happen", implies taht there others that did not happen.

The message was welcome news to the group, but knew that to get to Lewiston, before the snows, would be difficult. "but knew", who?

After crossing, they met Sheriff Henry Plummer. What is the significance of this?

he Edgerton's then bought a home at a Sheriff's sale for $400. The one room home became the first Montana Governor's Residence. Confusing, surely Edgerton was Chief Justice of the Territory of Idaho?

This whole section is not very well written. Choppy, focussing on intricate detail. No coherent flow or explanation of why events are significant.

Edgerton then left for the west, unsure of whether or not he would have a new position when he arrived, but on May 23, 1864, while on his way home, Mary Edgerton had a baby girl. non sequitur

After seeing his skills in the Territory of Idaho, President Abraham Lincoln appointed Edgerton as the first Territorial Governor of Montana What skills were these?

After the elections of 1865, Democrats took power in the House, and took the Delegate seat in the House of Representatives. While the Republicans took the Council. Surely this should be one sentence?

The revenues being received were not enough to pay for expenses, and Edgerton himself gave large sums of his own money to the territory This begs the question. Where did his money come from?

During this time, Edgerton was in the Washington D.C. " the Washington D.C."?

Despite remaining governor, until January 13, 1866, Edgerton did not return to Montana for 25 years Another non sequitur. Despite remaining Governor for another year, he didn't return for 25 years? needs some explanation.

Overall, this is rather poorly written, lacking any cohesive narrative flow, with seemingly random statements jammed in together. Please enlist the help of a copy-editor familiar with plain English usage.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
References check out.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
Territory of Idaho Rather too much detail about this wandering in the wilderness.

It strikes me on erading through some ofthe sources that much is missed in this account. the political differences between Edgerton and Plummmer are hardly noted. The Montana Vigilantes appear to have been a political force as well as unofficial justice. There is a lot of detail about a journey across the Rockies but little about what political, judicial and gubernatorial actions Edgerton undertook.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

':There is plenty of material here for an interesting article about the subject, but a the moment it hasn't been very well used. I suggest that the nominator reads all the sources thoroughly and puts together an article about the subject that covers thoroughly in a WP:SUMMARY style te majr aspects of his career. I shall not be listing this at this time. I suggest that when the article has been reworked, it is taken to WP:Peer review for preliminary help in making this into a good article. –– Jezhotwells (talk) 21:40, 14 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]