Talk:Si Una Vez/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Mayhem Mario 17:30, 8 July 2011 (UTC) I felt sorry for this article to have been waiting all this time, i've decided to review it. I have to admit I dont no anyhting about this song or topic, so it is all new to me (completley out of my comfort zone).[reply]

Fixes

I know the article is about a song but in the lead the word 'song' is mentioned:

"Si Una Vez" (English: If Once) is a song by Mexican-American Tejano pop singer Selena. It was released as the fifth single from her album Amor Prohibido (1994). The song was written and produced by Pete Astudillo, A.B. Quintanilla III and Bebu Silvetti. It was released in the United States for the Tejano and rhythmic contemporary radios, while becoming a promotional single in the United States and Mexico. It was first intended for Astudillo's debut album, but was later given to Selena to record. Becoming a progressive cumbia with experimental music that incorporates both Mariachi and Rancheras, the single quickly climbed to number-four on Billboard's Latin Regional Mexican Airplay chart.

The song, according to Billboard, is one of Selena's signature songs. While winning the BMI Pop Music Award in 1994 for "Song of The Year", the song became the second song, behind "No Me Queda Más", to be written out-of-emotions from Selena's band Los Dinos. Selena promoted the song during her Amor Prohibido Tour, the song was included in every venue. Si Una Vez was given mostly positive reviews, Good Housekeeping magazine stated that, "Si Una Vez is an admirable and convincing song you have to listen to when dealing with jerks!", while Texas Public Radio said it "resonates best" with South Texas. Being covered by many artists, the most notable cover version was Manny Manuel, whose version peaked at number-one on the U.S. Latin Tropical Airplay on Billboard. Within a year of its release, Si Una Vez was certified Gold by the CAPIF, in Argentina.

Do you get what I mean? Maybe try and limit them down. :)

Here it says Si Una Vez was first written by Pete Astudillo, who was dumped by his girlfriend^[1]. Astudillo, out of emotions, began writing down his feelings towards the break-up. Maybe you could put a comma instead of a full stop so it would look like this:

Si Una Vez was first written by Pete Astudillo, who was dumped by his girlfriend, Astudillo, out of emotions, began writing down his feelings towards the break-up.^[1]

Correct me if i'm worng, but I thinm all refs should go outside of the puncuation so it look like this: My name is MayhemMario.[2] not My name is MayhemMario[2].
instead of While the song was in a guy's point-of-view maybe While the song was in a man's point-of-view.
Quintanilla III told in an interview that,he really liked the song because - Is the comma needed?
enchance not enchanced (He also felt that the song will help enhanced) .
This needs work, While the song was produced, it became the second song to be written out-of-emotions from Selena's band Los Dinos, only behind, "No Me Queda Más" (English: There's Nothing Left For Me) which was written by Ricky Vela after fallen in love with Suzette Quintanilla and finding out she had a husband[2][3].

Instead: While the song was produced, it became the second song to be written out-of-emotions from Selena's band Los Dinos, only behind, "No Me Queda Más" (English: There's Nothing Left For Me). It was written by Ricky Vela after falling in love with Suzette Quintanilla and finding out that she had a husband[2][3].

Vela also confessed of using a Mariachi trumpet, with a moderate Cumbia-beat, while stating that Si Una Vez was one of his favorite songs on the album[3].
and progresses to a B-flat, the
Selena's Mariachi-yells replace with somehting more appropriate?
Selena's vocal spans two octaves. FULL STOP! "Si Una Vez" was composed in a moderate beat tempo.[4]
album Amor Prohibido (1994),it incorporates.
Selena promoted the song during her Amor Prohibido Tour, the song was included in every venue. Maybe: Selena promoted the song during her Amor Prohibido Tour, she included the song in every venue
The first performance of the song was during Selena's half-hour spot
1)Need Rewording Her final performance was on March 14, 1995 during her concert Calle Ocho Festival in Miami, Florida, which attracted over 100,000 fans.[5] 2)This sentence the ref is outside the ref (confusing)
During the 26 February , 1995 Houston Astrodome Changed round this sentence, you can just copy and paste this into the article.
I get the whole senetence up to after the ref, moves[6] and Selena's final televised concert. Maybe it's just me....
In 'Background and lyric content' you mention this: Pete Astudillo's first draft was in a guy's point-of-view after he was dumped by his girlfriend. well you've already mentioned that in 'Writing and inspiration' also if needed and you ahve to keep it then change the 'guy' to 'man'.
Again re-word this sentence: with South Texas says, Nathan Cone for the Texas Public Radio[9]
For this sentence:

Good Housekeeping interviewed Selena's family during their August 1995 issue, they also told subscribers that "Si Una Vez is an admirable and convincing song you have to listen to when dealing with jerks!"[11] You should change it to: Good Housekeeping told subscribers that "Si Una Vez is an admirable and convincing song you have to listen to when dealing with jerks!"[11] And get rid of the family rubbish.

Peaking at number-four on Billboard Regional Mexican Songs chart in 1994
In 'Credits and personnel' it shows 'Selena-vocals',Joe Ojeda – Keyboards. If you are going to use captial letters for Keyboard, you should use it for 'vocals' to, along with the others.

In general the article seems okay, except quite a few fixs of grammar, addtion of words and rewording sentences, nothing to much. :) There is no way the article can be passed until that is addressed. Most of the issues are stylistic, you can take my suggestions, reword it yourself, or leave it if you disagree with me. I am placing this article on hold for seven days, feel free to ask if you need me to clarify any of my comments. Good luck! Mayhem Mario 17:30, 8 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I would like to take the time and thank you for reviewing the article. I have now

Fixed all the issues that you have stated on here. If there is anything else that I need to do please state them. Thank you, AJona1992 (talk) 20:42, 8 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Well it looks good and i'm happy to pass it, just one more thing. the line:

which was written by Ricky Vela after falling in love with Suzette Quintanilla and finding out that she had a husband.[2][3] Can you re-write it? Maybe: which was written by Ricky Vela. The song was based on how Vela fell in love with (a girl called) Suzette Quintanilla, though found out she had a husband. Seems better (just need to copy and paste that). In the new version the part where I put (a girl called) im only putting that there as if she is notable it is not needed, if not it is needed. Mayhem Mario 09:11, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed. Suzette Quintanilla is Selena's sister, so instead I added that so it wouldn't be any confusing on who she is. Thanks, AJona1992 (talk) 17:22, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Done Well done! Hope I helped Mayhem Mario 09:02, 10 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! AJona1992 (talk) 17:05, 10 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

^ ^a ^b Ruiz, Geraldo (1995). Selena: The Last Song. Warner Pub Service/El Diario Books. p. 115. ISBN 9781887599016. Retrieved 8 May 2011. {{cite book}}: Cite has empty unknown parameter: |coauthors= (help); Invalid |nopp=256 (help); Unknown parameter |nopp= ignored (|no-pp= suggested) (help)

[Dumped-1] Ruiz, Geraldo (1995). Selena: The Last Song. Warner Pub Service/El Diario Books. p. 115. ISBN 9781887599016. Retrieved 8 May 2011. {{cite book}}: Cite has empty unknown parameter: |coauthors= (help); Invalid |nopp=256 (help); Unknown parameter |nopp= ignored (|no-pp= suggested) (help)

[1]