Talk:Shantae (video game)/GA1
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 22:34, 2 January 2016 (UTC)
I'll finish this soon. JAGUAR 22:34, 2 January 2016 (UTC)
Initial comments
[edit]- The second sentence in the first paragraph of the lead is too long. I'd split it in half where "with a fourth entry" begins
- "and acquires items which make her progressively stronger and unlock new abilities and locations" - as well as unlocking
- "even if it did show support for the new handheld, as special features are available when played on a Game Boy Advance" - informal
- Can the comparability with the Game Boy Advanced be elaborated in the lead?
- "the game received favourable reviews and has garnered recognition since its release, being ranked among the best games on the platform" - did critics officially state this?
- "Shantae is a platform adventure game" - link platform game and adventure game
- "adventure game in which players play as the eponymous Shantae" - comma needed in between "adventure" and "game"
- No gameplay image?
- "After, she's magically abducted to a place called the Genie Realm" - she is
- "the game was planned for the Super NES or PC" - SNES?
- "alongside the fact that launching a new IP was considered risky" - elaborate IP
- "and the Game Boy Advance was released in the meantime" - informal
- "The sound was, by 2000, developed in Musyx audio format" - The sound was developed in 2000
- "WayForward Technologies never actually released sales figures for the game, but the game's creator Matt Bozon acknowledges it has sold poorly" - informal and not encyclopaedic
- The first paragraph of the Sales and analysis section is informal and unsourced
- GamesRadar shouldn't be italicised
On hold
[edit]The things that worry me most are fears of original research and the informality of most sentences in the article. Some of it needs a copyedit and if you get stuck I'd recommend asking some people at WP:VG, as they'll know what I'm on about. I'll leave this on hold for seven days. JAGUAR 22:18, 3 January 2016 (UTC)
- @Jaguar: I think I have fixed everything you pointed out in your initial set of comments.--IDVtalk 22:52, 3 January 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks! OK, with them all out of the way I'd say this article has improved a great deal and should meet the GA criteria. Good work, IDV.
JAGUAR 22:58, 3 January 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks IDV for taking care of this while I was away. Glad the article passed.88.182.48.88 (talk) 08:56, 4 January 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks! OK, with them all out of the way I'd say this article has improved a great deal and should meet the GA criteria. Good work, IDV.