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Talk:Serb uprising of 1596–1597/GA1

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Reviewer: Ceradon (talk · contribs) 03:00, 7 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.

  • "so that the rebels in the woods would hear of it." - could this be reworded to "as a warning to the rebels of the perils of sedition" or something of the like?
  • " the liberation movement provoked" - directly state whose liberation movement it was. Let's say it's Grdan's: "Grdan's liberation movement provoked a large response." it puts this uprising in context and allows the reader to see the buildup.
  • "called to Austria for help" - clarify in the article whether this is the Austrian clergy or government or some other body. In fact you use the word "Austria" several times without clarifying who these Austrians were.
  • "main workers of the folk" - what do you mean by this? If you mean they were doing the legwork of the Austrians, state that straightforwardly. Either way, that should be reworded as it might be confusing.
  • "where the Maltese knight Franjo Brtučević, a Dalmatian, worked in their favour" - does that mean Franjo Brtučević was cooperating/sympathizing with them. If so, just state that directly.
  • "spread into Ottoman Montenegro and the neighbouring tribes in Herzegovina" - clarify how it spread. By word, secret meetings, worship sessions, etc.?
  • "threatened the Montenegrins through the provveditore" - threatened them with what?
  • "a Pavle" - when I look for Pavle I see a disambiguation page. If the Pavle you're referring to is there please link it. If not, add a morespecific note as to who the "Pavle" is. For instance, if Pavle is a tribe: "a Pavle tribesman."
  • I commented out a part of the text. It seemed awkward. You could place it in a note though.
  • "which would aid vojvoda Grdan on the land" - do you mean support/reinforce his troops. If so, you should state it directly.
  • "It was said that" - said by who?
  • "The monks asked the pope, with the support of Serb spiritual and secular leaders, to send a respectable Christian to oversee them." - what was the result of this request?
  • "his movement" - what was Archbishop Atanasije "movement". Rebellion? If so, state that directly. And please clarify in the article if his movement had anything to do with the Himariote rebellion or any other uprisings at the time.
  • "a contemporary of the event" - what does that mean? If you mean he was there to witness it, just say "who witnessed the Herzegovinian defeat at Gacko"
  • "based on the account" - whose account? Lazzaro Soranzo's account? Then say "based on Soranzo's account". Either way, state whose account he was referring to.

  • General comments
    • Made some copyedits for general clarity. If you feel that I made an error, please note so here before reverting it. :)
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
7. Overall assessment.

Good work. Much thanks to 23 editor for copyedting. Passing... --ceradon (talkcontribs) 23:32, 21 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks to reviewer Ceradon and copyeditor 23 editor!--Zoupan 04:50, 22 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]