Talk:Self-decoration camouflage/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 09:58, 9 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I propose taking on this review. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 09:58, 9 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks, as always. Chiswick Chap (talk) 10:04, 9 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

First reading

The article is well-written but quite short. I was wondering about the inclusion of a few more animal examples. Some sea anemones have adhesive papillae to which sand and shell fragments stick, but I'm not sure that that is self-adornment. There is a clam that uses sponge if I remember correctly, and a tubeworm of some sort that selects shell fragments for its tube and forms a mosaic.

I've said a bit more about humans (see below) and about lacewings, ants, and aphids (which seems topical). I'm not sure if your anemones qualify. The tubeworm Sabellaria spinulosa is one of many species to construct a fixed tube, and this certainly constitutes defence but not, it seems, camouflage.

My initial observation is that the article has not got a lead. The first paragraph gives an overview of the topic but is not a summary of the rest of the contents.

Have extended the lead to cover history in 2nd para, and animal and military usage in 3rd para.

The sentence starting "Decorator crabs" is too long and complex.

Split into three.

What about self-decoration of humans for other purposes? Tattooing, body-piercing and various cultural practices?

Out of the domain, really. They are pretty thoroughly covered in other articles, too. I have found a nice illustration of emu hunting in Australia (1889) which is certainly wolf-in-sheep's clothing, however.

- That's all I can think of at the moment. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 11:35, 11 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I was considering that the article was about "Self-decoration", the decorating or adorning of an organism by itself, which would include for example tattooing, but you are limiting the article's scope to an organism decorating itself for the purpose of camouflage. I will have another look at the article. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 17:27, 11 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, perhaps we should add 'camouflage' to the title immediately after the review. There are 3 synonyms of 'self-decoration camouflage' in the article but all of them, while classical and correct, are rarely if ever used now. Chiswick Chap (talk) 19:22, 11 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I think it would be good to rename the article in that way after the review is finished.

I'll request the move at that time.

I was not previously familiar with a "ghillie suit". I suggest you rearrange that paragraph to describe what it is before you talk about its history and use. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 09:30, 12 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Done.

I think the article now meets the GA criteria. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:02, 12 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks for the review. Chiswick Chap (talk) 13:23, 12 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]