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GA Review

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Hi, I am reviewing this article for GA. In general it looks like a good article. There are some problems with the prose that need fixing. Also, perhaps an over dependence on quotations, as it becomes confusing at times figuring out what is quoted and what is not. I have made some initial comments below and may add more later. —Mattisse (Talk) 16:26, 27 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Mattisse (Talk) 16:26, 27 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Mattisse (Talk) 20:57, 27 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • I rewrote a few things. If you feel there are still too many quotes, let me know. DiverseMentality 21:22, 27 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think you need to rewrite more of the quotations. The meaning of the quotations is unclear. I went back and read some of your sources and found that the meaning of the quotation in the context of the source was different than the way it appears in the article. The article leaves out much of the meaning.
  • The article fails to put the band into a musical context i.e. in terms of time, musical style, etc. Without knowing what type of music they play, on the musical spectrum, there is no framework in which to place the quotations. All by itself, using Synesthesia as a theme is not original. You should show how it is original for this band, on this album, for this musical genre.

Mattisse (Talk) 18:15, 28 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've reduced more quotes and plan to work on the second issue raised above later on in the day. DiverseMentality 18:44, 29 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I scavenged through the end of Google and added as much information as possible. DiverseMentality 21:25, 30 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Comment
  • That is a big improvement! Just a couple of questions:
  • "which he assumed everyone experienced while listening to music" - If he assumed everyone experienced synesthesia while listening to music, then why does he explain it in detail?
  • "The European-influenced music" - what does this mean?

Mattisse (Talk) 02:17, 31 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Clarified a bit. DiverseMentality 02:43, 31 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Final GA review (see here for criteria)

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): Well written b (MoS): Follows MoS
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): Well referenced b (citations to reliable sources): Sources are reliable c (OR): No OR
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): Sets the context b (focused): Remains focused on subject
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias: NPOV
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Glad you stuck it out and made it better. Congratulations!

Mattisse (Talk) 03:37, 31 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]