Talk:Save as Draft/GA1
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA Review
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 18:51, 25 January 2018 (UTC)
- Grabbing this for a review. It may take me a few days to get to this just so you know. Aoba47 (talk) 18:51, 25 January 2018 (UTC)
- Infobox and lead
- I do not think that the length parameter of the infobox needs a reference.
Done Removed. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:04, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
- I do not believe that “power ballad” is a genre so remove it from the genre parameter of the infobox (power ballads can cover various genres and it is more of a style of a song).
- Done Removed. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:04, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
- Rather than “electro-ballad” in the same parameter, I would just use “electro” as that is more of the genre (i.e. the ballad part is more the style not the genre).
- I do not believe that this part (as the record's sole promotional single) is true. “Swish Swish” was originally pitched and released as a promotional single before being upgraded to a full-fledged single so this part needs to be revised to be more accurate.
- Done I actually meant it is the sole promo single that still remained in that status (if that makes any sense). However, I understand your concern and I've added a note on that matter. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:04, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
- For this part (Reviewers gave both negative and positive reviews of "Save as Draft" following its release.), I would just say “mixed reviews”.
- For this part (to the works of singers Sam Smith, Timbaland, and Lorde.), I believe that Timbaland is more well-known as a producer than a singer.
- Divide this sentence (Commercially, "Save as Draft" reached numbers 14 and 19 on Billboard'sAdult Contemporary and Adult Top 40 component charts, respectively, in the United States, aided by several live performances, including during her concert tour Witness: The Tour (2017–2018) and four-day YouTube live stream Katy Perry Live: Witness World Wide (2017).) into two with the first about its commerical performance and the second on the live performance aspect. Right now, it is far too long.
- Recording and release
- Is this sentence (The song is placed 13th on the track list of Witness (2017), Perry's fifth studio album.) really necessary? The song’s placement on the album’s track listing does not seem that important to me.
- Again this part (as Witness's sole promotional single) is not true.
- Done See above. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:04, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
- Composition and lyrics
- Add a link for “electro-ballad”.
- I am not sure about the quote use in this part (alongside "dated" technology metaphors.). The “dated” quote is clearly a negative response to the lyrics and should be moved down to the critical reception part of the article.
- I removed the "dated" part overall, as I think it would be unnecessary to make an extra sentence for that critique when the author didn't say anything else on the song than that. Also, we don't really know if "dated" is meant negatively here. I just removed it... Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:04, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
- In this part (During an episode of Delilah Rene's), the link for “Delilah” does not go where you want it to (i.e. I highly doubt Perry was talking to that Delilah).
- For this part (thought that the song was about blogging,), I would use a better verb than “thought”.
- Done Added "speculated" instead. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:04, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
- There are a lot of quotes in this section so I would challenge you to paraphrase a bit more. Large portions of this section is pure quotes, and that should be fixed.
- Done I think it looks better now. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:04, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
- Reception and promotion
- Again, I would just use “mixed reviews” rather than “both positive and negative reviews”.
- Use ALT text for the image.
- For this part (Perry also sang the track during her four-day YouTube live stream Katy Perry Live: Witness World Wide (2017), at the Glastonbury Festival near Pilton, Somerset, England on June 24, and for British radio station Kiss on June 30, 2017 in an acoustic approach.), do you mean that she performed an acoustic version of the song at all of these events?
- Perry just performed an acoustic version on the latter occasion, but I think that is clear here. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:04, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
- Final thoughts
Great work with this! Once all of my comments are addressed, I will be more than happy to promote this to a GA. Aoba47 (talk) 18:57, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
- @Aoba47: Thank you again for your review. I haven't got time lately, but I will also get to one of your GANs in the near future. All the best; Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:04, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
- Thank you for addressing everything. I will ✓ Pass this. And don't feel pressured to take on any of my GANs; I took the nomination because I wanted to read more about this. Great work with this. Aoba47 (talk) 22:00, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
- @Aoba47: Thank you again for your review. I haven't got time lately, but I will also get to one of your GANs in the near future. All the best; Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:04, 26 January 2018 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.