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Wiki Education assignment: Foundations II

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This article is currently the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 1 June 2024 and 17 August 2024. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Akaguhi, Vivle, Shahrin.islam.ucsf, J.pham, UCSF Future PharmD (article contribs). Peer reviewers: Jrdimapasoc, Lhuang9, S.Huang, Future UCSF PharmD, Rayhuang347.

— Assignment last updated by Health Economics and Policy (talk) 19:26, 26 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Plan of editing:

To add into the individual sections of Causes, treatment, diagnosis/definition, and symptoms with reliable sources + inline citations. Additionally, to add images.

Definition: Removing original definition to clarify and to redefine.

— Preceding unsigned comment added by J.pham, UCSF Future PharmD (talkcontribs) 21:25, 23 July 2024 (UTC)[reply] 

Foundations II: Peer Review

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Peer Review Comments:

Laura Huang: The group appears to have contributed to causes, treatment, diagnosis, and symptoms and has used reliable sources. The information added is well-written and neutral. Images and visual aids have not been added yet. However, Pathogenesis and Complications/Conclusions should be in a separate section to help organize the Wikipedia article. There are also some grammatical errors throughout the sections.

Shenghung Huang: Question 1: Yes, The group's edit has improve the viewing experience for the reading with addition of topics. These edits allow view to navigate to their topic of interest. In addition, the group's edit also included information on symptoms and causes, which can be helpful for those interested. However, this article is lacking visual aids or diagrams, which makes it harder for viewer to visualize. Question 2: The group had achieved their goal on adding individual sections of causes, treatment, diagnosis, and symptoms. Although there is no indications on the responsibilities of each section, the group seems to follow their plan. By reading through history, I can see that all member contributed to this article. question 3b: yes, sources cited can be easily accessible.

Ray Huang:

Questions 1: The article is generally well written with the edits having been implemented well. There is a logical breakdown of information and flow to the article as a whole. However, there are a few nitpicks. For the first paragraph of pathogenesis, I would avoid the use of "->" in an article. Additionally, adding links to relevant Wikipedia articles could be helpful. This is most notable for "sarcopenia" and "obesity".

Question 2: Everyone seems to have contributed. However, the goal of adding photos has yet to be met. Additionally, inline citations are still not used in the pathogenesis/complications section. However, the group did not mention wanting to edit those sections so it could just not have been reviewed. Otherwise, the information is detailed and citations are good for the rest of the page.

Question 3: Editing seems consistent aside from previously mentioned mistakes. Additionally, I'm not sure if using the word patient is necessarily the best option. Use people or individuals.

Rayhuang347 (talk) 04:57, 1 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Jeanell Dimapasoc:

Strengths

Points made in the leading paragraphs are addressed throughout the sections

Includes sources from within the last 5 years, showing that updates to the article have been made using recent developments & findings

Includes sources written by authors of different backgrounds, incorporating diverse findings & perspectives

Has clear headings to organize the different sections

Written from a neutral standpoint

Suggestions

Use consistent capitalization (if needed) of "sarcopenic obesity" throughout the article

Add images, such as of how a person with sarcopenic obesity looks like on thermographic imaging or a BMI chart to show how it is determined

Include findings, if available, of which ethnicities sarcopenic obesity is most prevalent amongst

Move the complications section to after the diagnosis section rather than it be in the introduction

Lhuang9 (talk) 19:54, 29 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Jrdimapasoc (talk) 17:18, 30 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]