Talk:Sarah Vinci/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 18:10, 19 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Lead is two sentences long. This is not an adequate summary of the article by a long way.
- Y Expanded the introduction. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Don't use abbreviations like TAFE without expanding them first.
- Y Done. Most people don't know what it stands for; it is always used as a word. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
What is a "certificate III/IV"?
- Y An academic certificate. Linked. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Avoid single-sentence paras, suggest you merge the first and second paras of the "Wheelchair basketball" section.
- Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Use en-dash to separate scores in a scoreline, so not 65-58, more 65–58. Check others.
- Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" Kevin Coombs Cup" what does this mean?
- Y Added an explanation. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I'd suggest at some point somewhere you link Wheelchair basketball.
- Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Don't think the gallery is required at all.
- I wanted to show her in her Western Stars guernsey.
  - You don't need a gallery for that, just a slightly longer article which you can add more images to... The Rambling Man (talk) 17:17, 22 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Season statistics [24]" remove space before [24].
- Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Don't have multiple hyphens in table, an en- or em-dash would be fine.
- Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Spare hyphen in the title of ref 8?
- Y Removed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Check refs so things like The Age are in italics, as they are works.
- Y They are newspapers. The bot seemed to want to make them publishers. Corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Ref 8 seems to be published by Yahoo, can you double check that all refs are correctly attributed to work and publisher?
- Y The newspaper is The West Australian, the daily newspaper of Perth (pop. 1.9 million). The story appeared in both its print and online versions. The Seven Network, one of Australia's three commercial television networks, owns The West Australian. It also owns 50% of Yahoo!7, a joint venture with Yahoo. This is why The Western Australia doesn't use its own domain; but Yahoo!7 is just providing the internet infrastructure. The Western Australia is the publisher. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 20:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Few more things

"lost to the Canada." drop the the.
- Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:53, 24 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Are there links you can use for the other national Paralympic basketball teams?
- No, none of the others have articles. Somebody complained about large numbers of red links, so we unlinked them. I will create an article on the German team in due course. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:53, 24 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Should have said it before, but any chance of a ref for Gliders being the nick of the Aus national team?
- Y Added. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:53, 24 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
In the stats table, I would put the season first, then the competition. I would also be consistent with whether the stats (or dashes) are centrally-aligned or left-aligned.
- Y Added more markup to centre the text. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:53, 24 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The Key is a little overwhelming, would you consider reshaping it so it doesn't create so much whitespace on either side of it?
- Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:53, 24 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 15:45, 23 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Comments above need to be addressed before I'm happy here.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Too many images, gallery doesn't add anything, the lead image shows what she looks like, the other images provide nothing more.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Address the comments, and all good as far as I can tell. It's a little light but there's not much more you can say about a young athlete like this. I'll place it on hold for a week pending updates. Cheers! The Rambling Man (talk) 20:06, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

All points addressed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:51, 25 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]