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Talk:Samragyee RL Shah/Archive 1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Samragyee RL Shah/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 10:48, 19 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • In the lead, I would address her pre-eminent roles before talking about her awards and pay.
 Done
  • " a huge success" not particularly neutral tone.
 Done
  • "numerous" is repeated twice in quick succession in the lead.
 Done
  • "in Birgunj, Nepal to" comma after Nepal.
 Done
  • "Shah is related to " you need to be specific which Shah as you've just mentioned two others...
 Done
  • "in Birgunj, Nepal from" comma after Nepal again.
 Done
  • "Shah was included in the list of "Top 10 ..." is there a context for this? Is it a Nepali-only award? What's the scope?
 Done
  • " in which she revealed " I guess you mean she was also interviewed inside the magazine because you've only mentioned her being on the cover.
 Done
  • "a huge box office" no need for "huge", just remove it.
 Done
  • "debut movie Dreams." Dreams needs to be in italics.
 Done
  • " day.[28]On 30 March 2018," space after ref.
 Done
  • "the film.[32]The film " repetitive and, once again, space after ref.
 Done
  • "On June 2019," date missing.
 Done
  • "Khadkha.[35]The film " space missing again.
 Done
  • Avoid SHOUTING in the reference titles.
 Done

That's all for the first pass, so the nomination is on hold. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 08:26, 22 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@The Rambling Man: Thank you so much for the GAN review. I've fixed the issues raised above. ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 11:54, 22 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@The Rambling Man: I've made some minor changes to the article.___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 11:37, 25 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I know, I'm on holiday and seem limited in what I can achieve on-wiki right now. Please be patient and I'll get to your review as soon as I can. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 17:15, 25 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The Rambling Man, Thanks for letting me know. Also, enjoy your holiday. ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 11:04, 27 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@The Rambling Man:, if you have further questions about the article let me know.___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 10:18, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Indeed. I am currently travelling back home, ETA another six hours if I'm lucky. As I noted, I'll get to this when I have a prolonged period of concentration. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 10:22, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • " by weekly publication Kantipur Saptahik sister publication of Kantipur" Shouldn't "Kantipur Saptahik" be in italics (it's a work) and I don't understand how it can be a "sister publication" of "Kantipur" which appears to be a publisher. And don't repeat "publication".
 Done :Kantipur is now linked to Kantipur (daily)
  • " Shah was featured on the cover, and was also interviewed inside the magazine of the M&S VMAG magazine" -> " Shah was featured on the cover of the M&S VMAG magazine and was also interviewed."
 Done
  • "film's producer Bhuwan K.C. stated" you've already linked him.
 Done
  • "who falls in love as an adult after being sought out by the holder of a childhood crush." I'm not sure I understand the latter half of this. Do you mean she falls in love with someone who had a crush on her when she was younger?
 Done
  • "The second half of the movie, however, involves a significant twist to the plot." I'm not sure what relevance this has.
 Done I don't know why that was there.
  • " psychiatrist.[19]In Shishir Rana's" space after ref.
 Done
  • "who unknowingly falls for Intu" are we supposed to know who Intu is?
 Done
  • " The film is set to release on 30 August 2019.[37]" it's September now, needs update.
 Done

The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 08:24, 2 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@The Rambling Man:, I have fixed the article. Further comments are welcome ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 11:37, 2 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@The Rambling Man: how is the article now. have you got chance to see it.___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 12:13, 5 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I've made a few tweaks and think it's just about good enough for GA. I would heartily recommend that you get these peer reviewed in future before nomination, there were some basic issues there which I would expect to not be present in a GA nomination. But we're there now, good work. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 12:40, 5 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man, thank you so much for the review. ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 12:58, 5 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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