Talk:Sally Ride/GA1
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Reviewer: Balon Greyjoy (talk · contribs) 16:28, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
Nice work on this article. I'm planning to do the review this weekend! Balon Greyjoy (talk) 16:28, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
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[edit]Early life
[edit]- Bear being ordained later in life isn't relevant to Ride's early life and doesn't need to be included.
- Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Did Ride ever join the Daughters of the American Revolution? If not, I don't think this merits mentioning.
- Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- When she was in Europe, the family was traveling, correct? I think that's worth mentioning, otherwise its makes it sound like they moved, full-time, to a place in Europe.
- Yes, for a whole year. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- How does Mommaerts fit into Ride's narrative? She tough human physiology, and the next sentence says that Ride wanted to become an astrophysicist.
- It comes later. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- What was the advanced math class? Was that during her senior year of high school, the summer before college, or did she take time off before college and take that class? Unless it is something particularly advanced, I don't think an individual class that she took merits mentioning.
- It was during the summer before she went to Swarthmore. Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- The dean of admissions for Swarthmore College doesn't need a by-name mention; it's enough to say that Ride was admitted on a full tennis scholarship.
- No, it is important later on. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I think saying "September 18, 1968" for starting college is too exact; is that the day she moved in, the first day of classes, etc.? I think it's enough to say "September 1968"
- I'm always precise, as it makes it easier for people to paraphrase the Wikipedia. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Then it should be stated what that date represents. "Entered" could mean set foot on campus, moved in, began orientation, started classes, etc.
- Any update on what this date means? The other school-related dates just use a month-year or even a year.
- "Enter" means "gained admission to the university". It is the date of commencement of studies at a university. [1] Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Gained admission" is not the same thing as starting classes; if anything, that would have been months prior to September 1968 (assuming she was admitted during spring semester 1968 to enroll in fall 1968). If September 18th is the day she began classes, add that, but it is not clear from the current context. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 19:27, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- Changed to "commenced classes". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:35, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Gained admission" is not the same thing as starting classes; if anything, that would have been months prior to September 1968 (assuming she was admitted during spring semester 1968 to enroll in fall 1968). If September 18th is the day she began classes, add that, but it is not clear from the current context. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 19:27, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Enter" means "gained admission to the university". It is the date of commencement of studies at a university. [1] Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm always precise, as it makes it easier for people to paraphrase the Wikipedia. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Was she very involved in golf and field hockey? It seems like tennis was her main sport, so I'm not sure how much she was playing the other sports.
- She made the hockey team. The point is that she did play other sports. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Link "straight sets"
- It's not clear what Title IX has to do with Ride being homesick.
- Added a bit of clarification. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "she announced that she was returning to California in January 1970" Since she wasn't a public figure during her college career, I think it's sufficient to say "she returned to California in January 1970" as her announcement was probably just to her friends and family.
- I think she might have told the college as well. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Her grades in two UCLA classes don't need to be mentioned.
- Few people excel in both arts and sciences. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- When referring to her status as the only woman in the physics class, is that for the quantum mechanics class or a different class?
- The only physics major. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Did she have an affair with the TA, or was she dating him? It's been awhile since I read the Scherr book, but I don't recall the relationship being an affair. Additionally, I don't think her college ex needs a by-name mention.
- It is relevant later on. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm not seeing anything about this being an affair in Sherr's book.
- Sherr says "a real romance - physical but not sexual... But it was very intense. Sally was not trivial or superficial. We spent an awful lot of time together in a relatively short time". (p. 41) together". Changed to "She was romantically involved" Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm not seeing anything about this being an affair in Sherr's book.
- It is relevant later on. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Her foray into professional tennis was less successful," Less successful than what? This comes right after the sentence on dating Tompkins, so it reads like her tennis career is being compared to her love life.
- Tweaked wording. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I think this is better. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 12:17, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Tweaked wording. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- How was she unsuccessful as a tennis player? Did she lose tournaments? Not make enough money? Realize she didn't like it? It's not clear what her setbacks were.
- Expanded on this. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I don't think it needs to be stated that Ride decided to focus on academics. I think "Ride decided to concentrate on academics. She applied for a transfer to Stanford University as a junior. " could be shortened to "Realizing she wouldn't succeed as a professional tennis player, she applied to transfer to Stanford University"
- Trimmed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "By coincidence, Fred Hargadon was now the dean of admissions there," I'm assuming this is meant to imply that Hargadon wanted to admit her? It's not clear from this, it just says that he was the dean of admissions? If he played an integral role in Ride getting admitted, its worth mentioning, but it's not clear how much him being there helped get her in. I wouldn't expect the dean of admissions to personally know many of the applicants/students. If anything, I would expect him to not want to accept her after she dropped out of Swarthmore.
- Hargadon was the best in the business. He knew all the details of all his students, and followed their careers with interest. He personally approved her admission. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm not seeing any of this info in the Sherr book; it the inclusion of Hargadon's info mostly seems as a set up for the anecdote about Ride saying he admitted her twice to avoid making a mistake. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:35, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- "in another of the happy coincidences that smoothed her life, she was readily accepted by the same man who had welcomed her to Swarthmore" (p. 42) For more about him, see [2] Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Sorry, I meant that I'm not seeing anything particularly special about Hargadon and his role in Ride's life, just that he coincidentally was Dean of Admissions at both schools she applied to. I think it's a fun fact, but a trivial detail for a Wikipedia article. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 12:17, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- "in another of the happy coincidences that smoothed her life, she was readily accepted by the same man who had welcomed her to Swarthmore" (p. 42) For more about him, see [2] Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm not seeing any of this info in the Sherr book; it the inclusion of Hargadon's info mostly seems as a set up for the anecdote about Ride saying he admitted her twice to avoid making a mistake. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:35, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Hargadon was the best in the business. He knew all the details of all his students, and followed their careers with interest. He personally approved her admission. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- To keep it chronological, info about Ride's time at Stanford should be before her graduation info, grad school, etc.
- The two occur simultaneously, so we have one paragraph on her academic work, and one on her other activities. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "The two had met on the tennis circuit as juniors." This should maybe say "as teenagers" since "junior" has also been used to refer to a school year.
- Damn. Changed to "junior tennis players" Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Tyson only number six" Remove "only"
- Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Ride and Tyson became lovers." I feel like this should say "Ride and Tyson began a relationship"
- Would Americans assume that sex was involved? Do you want "lesbian relationship"? Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I can't speak for all Americans, but I think the term "lovers" implies a more casual, sexual relationship. The fact that their relationship went on for years and seems more serious than purely physical contact makes me think the term "lovers" in inadequate. Regarding the use of "lesbian relationship", my opinion is not to use that term. I can't speak from the perspective of someone in a same-sex relationship, but I think calling it a "lesbian relationship" implies it is somehow different (and possibly lesser) than a heterosexual relationship. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 11:13, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Would "Ride and Tyson began a relationship" work better? I think it is a more appropriate word. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 12:20, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Changed to "sexual relationship". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Why not just use the term "relationship" like when describing her other relationships? I would assume her relationships with Hawley and Coulson also were sexual relationships. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 19:24, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- Very well. Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:50, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- Why not just use the term "relationship" like when describing her other relationships? I would assume her relationships with Hawley and Coulson also were sexual relationships. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 19:24, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- Changed to "sexual relationship". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Would Americans assume that sex was involved? Do you want "lesbian relationship"? Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I don't think Bear working at the pro shop at the tennis camp where her sister worked is needed
- Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
Selection and training
[edit]- I don't think its necessary to say who she gave as references. If nothing else, I would have it say "ex-partners" rather than "three lovers"
- "Partners" would be incorrect. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Regardless, I don't think who she gave as a personal reference is a significant detail.
- I see it as very important, and it can be compared with other candidates. Rhea Seddon, for example, chose James Pate, the head of surgery at the hospital where she worked; Jose Guma, her flying instructor; and Jim Arnhart, the administrator of Rutherford Hospital. Very different. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- If it must be included, fine, but I don't think "lovers" is the appropriate word. That makes it seem like she just picked previous sexual partners, where she was in a relationship with all of these people at some point.
- It is Sherr's term. Changed to "people she had been in relationships with". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- If it must be included, fine, but I don't think "lovers" is the appropriate word. That makes it seem like she just picked previous sexual partners, where she was in a relationship with all of these people at some point.
- I see it as very important, and it can be compared with other candidates. Rhea Seddon, for example, chose James Pate, the head of surgery at the hospital where she worked; Jose Guma, her flying instructor; and Jim Arnhart, the administrator of Rutherford Hospital. Very different. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Regardless, I don't think who she gave as a personal reference is a significant detail.
- "Partners" would be incorrect. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I don't think her treadmill score is necessary to include, as there's no basis for comparison (was she the best in the group, how fast it was going, etc)
- I wanted to emphasise her physical fitness, having just said it fell short of elite athlete level. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- But it's not really clear how impressive this is, as there's no mention of how far she ran or how fast she was going. I'm sure Ride was physically fit and covered a significant distance in 17 minutes, but that isn't apparent from the text. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:43, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Very well. Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- But it's not really clear how impressive this is, as there's no mention of how far she ran or how fast she was going. I'm sure Ride was physically fit and covered a significant distance in 17 minutes, but that isn't apparent from the text. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:43, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- I wanted to emphasise her physical fitness, having just said it fell short of elite athlete level. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Writing a one-page essay about why she wanted a job doesn't seem overly involved; I don't think that merits mentioning.
- Part of the application process. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I wouldn't consider what is effectively a cover page to be a significant question in a job application. There's no mention of the forms she had to fill out that included her personal info, or the questions she had to answer in her interviews.
- The forms were the standard application forms for a civil service job. The questions differed from candidate to candidates; they were more interested in the way you responded rather than the answers themselves. Sherr notes that they asked her what she did for fun. (pp. 1-2) She quotes the one page essay (pp. 67-68) but doesn't tell us what other questions were asked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- It isn't a make or break, but I consider a one page essay on why someone wants a job to be a trivial detail.
- The forms were the standard application forms for a civil service job. The questions differed from candidate to candidates; they were more interested in the way you responded rather than the answers themselves. Sherr notes that they asked her what she did for fun. (pp. 1-2) She quotes the one page essay (pp. 67-68) but doesn't tell us what other questions were asked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- I wouldn't consider what is effectively a cover page to be a significant question in a job application. There's no mention of the forms she had to fill out that included her personal info, or the questions she had to answer in her interviews.
- Part of the application process. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I don't think her starting GS-12 salary should be included, as there are no other mentions of her salary throughout the article, when she presumably made less as a grad student and more as a seasoned astronaut and a college professor.
- I think readers would be interested in how much an astronaut made. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "bought a unit" Maybe something like "bought a condominium", as I think "unit" is a colloquialism.
- It is not a colloquialism, and not the same as a condominium. Linked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Was Colson already in Houston? If they moved together, I think it should say "moved with Colson" as "moved in" implies he already had a place there.
- Clarified that Colson took the job in Houston so they could stay together. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "He became the only unmarried astronaut candidate's partner." This makes it sound like a lot of the astronaut candidates had relationships with married people. I don't think it's a necessary detail, especially since they broke up within a year of them moving down to Houston.
- It is an important detail; NASA were okay with unmarried couples. This would come as a surprise to readers more familiar with NASA policies in the 1960s. (And when I worked at EDS in Texas two decades later, women were fired for this.) Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I don't recall a policy against unmarried astronauts, just that early NASA astronauts, like the bulk of the 1950s/1960s test pilot community were all white, married men. NASA clearly didn't have a problem with her marital status if they hired her.
- Yes. Two of the six women were married (Fisher and Lucid), and Resnik was divorced. Just a few years before, being divorced would have sank Resnik's application. But Ride wasn't just single, she was in a de facto relationship, and that indicates a considerable shift since the 1950s and 1960s in what was still a fairly conservative workplace. (Homosexuality was still against policy though.) Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Seeing as this is also the first time women were admitted into the Astronaut Corps, I think its clear that things were changing. I just don't think it needs to be emphasized that Sally Ride was the first astronaut candidate with a boyfriend, not a husband.
- A boyfriend she was living with who was treated by NASA as an astronaut spouse. I think it is an important point, especially since it is the only such case I am aware of. There was - and remains - a preference for married people in astronaut selection. In part that is a carry over from the US military, where marriage is far more common than in US civilian life for economic reasons, build even among the civilians marriage is the norm. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Seeing as this is also the first time women were admitted into the Astronaut Corps, I think its clear that things were changing. I just don't think it needs to be emphasized that Sally Ride was the first astronaut candidate with a boyfriend, not a husband.
- Yes. Two of the six women were married (Fisher and Lucid), and Resnik was divorced. Just a few years before, being divorced would have sank Resnik's application. But Ride wasn't just single, she was in a de facto relationship, and that indicates a considerable shift since the 1950s and 1960s in what was still a fairly conservative workplace. (Homosexuality was still against policy though.) Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- I don't recall a policy against unmarried astronauts, just that early NASA astronauts, like the bulk of the 1950s/1960s test pilot community were all white, married men. NASA clearly didn't have a problem with her marital status if they hired her.
- It is an important detail; NASA were okay with unmarried couples. This would come as a surprise to readers more familiar with NASA policies in the 1960s. (And when I worked at EDS in Texas two decades later, women were fired for this.) Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "ignored the rules, and let the more proficient mission specialist candidates fly the aircraft" It's unclear if they were breaking the rules from this sentence. Were the candidates just flying the aircraft (which it seems like they could do above 5,000 feet) or were they taking off/landing/doing prohibited activities.
- Clarified this. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "John Fabian even had her fly "under the hood", with the windows blacked out and using instruments only." This is pretty standard training for instrument-only flying; was this expressly forbidden? If the mission specialists were expected to be able to fly in an emergency, I don't know why NASA wouldn't be encouraging them to get proficient in this.
- They weren't expected to land, only to eject. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- The article should answer if this is expressly forbidden, if Ride was breaking rules, etc. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:02, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- They weren't expected to land, only to eject. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Rick Hauck allowed her to fly a prototype Boeing 747" The significance of this isn't clear. Why was Boeing lending its prototype aircraft for astronauts to fly around (and let unqualified individuals fly)?
- They didn't know she was unqualified until he told them. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- From the text, it's not clear how this happened. Were astronauts routinely flying the Boeing prototype aircraft?
- Not routinely. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- My point is, its an out-of-place statement that has no further context. I don't know any of the specifics, but it doesn't really make sense without more elaboration, which I don't think is necessary as its not like Ride became a commercial pilot.
- Deleted then. I note in passing that the first woman to officially fly the 747 did so in 1981. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- My point is, its an out-of-place statement that has no further context. I don't know any of the specifics, but it doesn't really make sense without more elaboration, which I don't think is necessary as its not like Ride became a commercial pilot.
- Not routinely. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- From the text, it's not clear how this happened. Were astronauts routinely flying the Boeing prototype aircraft?
- They didn't know she was unqualified until he told them. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Ride enjoyed flying so much she took private flying lessons and earned her private pilot's license. She bought a part interest in a Grumman Tiger aircraft, which she would fly on weekends." This could be combined, as private flying lessons are required for her to get her PPL. I would just say "Ride earned her private pilot's license and bought a part interest in a Grumman Tiger aircraft."
- I think the text is fine. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- The point is that she took lessons on her own time and with her own money; with your wording the reader might assumed that NASA gave it to her. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- What happened to her dating Hoot Gibson? It's mentioned that they started dating, and then it jumps to her dating Hawley.
- Rhea Seddon stole him from her. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- There's no mention of his and Ride's relationship ending. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:46, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Yes, Sherr only says "briefly dated fellow AsCan Robert "Hoot" Gibson" (p. 118) soon after she split with Colson. Tweaked the wording. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- There's no mention of his and Ride's relationship ending. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:46, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Rhea Seddon stole him from her. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "and considered themselves engaged" Were they engaged? Did they move in together quickly, or was this in the months leading up to the wedding? I think its sufficient to just say they got married, as there wasn't a long span of time from when they started dating to getting married, so it's not like they lived together for years before the wedding.
- For a year or so. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- So why not just say "they moved in together, and became engaged" Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:46, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Because that might imply that there was a ceremony or announcement (Steve telling Hoot while jogging doesn't count). Followed Sherr's wording. She speculates that this may have been prompted by Billie Jean King's May 1981 palimony lawsuit. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm assuming they discussed getting married? Assuming they both agreed to it, I think that constitutes getting engaged, rather than just considering themselves engaged. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 12:26, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Well, "considered themselves engaged" is Sherr's wording, and I'm hewing to it. It is not clear that this was shared even with close family and friends. There were certainly none of the formalities of engagement. It was unlike Ride to make firm plans a year out; with O'Shaughnessy she recommitted even few years. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm assuming they discussed getting married? Assuming they both agreed to it, I think that constitutes getting engaged, rather than just considering themselves engaged. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 12:26, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Because that might imply that there was a ceremony or announcement (Steve telling Hoot while jogging doesn't count). Followed Sherr's wording. She speculates that this may have been prompted by Billie Jean King's May 1981 palimony lawsuit. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- So why not just say "they moved in together, and became engaged" Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:46, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- For a year or so. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Ride never took her husband's name." Link taking the husband's last name, and also, maybe just say "Ride did not take her husband's last name"
- What article is this you want linked to? It is still a common practice in the United States, but until the 1970s it was a legal requirement in the United States. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I think we had this conversation on the Lisa Nowak GA discussion. On that page, [[Maiden and married names#Use husband's family name|changed her last name]] is used. I don't know how common taking the husband's last name is outside of the US.
- Not very common at all outside the English-speaking world. Illegal in many countries. Linked as suggested. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- I think we had this conversation on the Lisa Nowak GA discussion. On that page, [[Maiden and married names#Use husband's family name|changed her last name]] is used. I don't know how common taking the husband's last name is outside of the US.
- What article is this you want linked to? It is still a common practice in the United States, but until the 1970s it was a legal requirement in the United States. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 10:56, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
STS-7
[edit]- Shouldn't it say that she served as "a ground-based..." rather than "the ground-based..." as there are multiple CAPCOMs per mission?
- Changed as suggested. Wish I had a lisst of the Shuttle CAPCOMs, Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Due to her sex," This seems like an odd-way to refer to her status. Maybe something like "As the first American woman to fly in space,"
- Changed as suggested. The wording alluded to the source and Title VII. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "But she confided to Tyson that it was not like stepping onto the Centre Court at Wibbledon. "I'm aware", she told Tyson, "that this is not without risks. I realize I could die."" This isn't encyclopedic information; going to space is obviously not the same as a tennis court, and it makes it seem like nobody ever acknowledged risk in the space program.
- That was not the attitude of NASA at the time. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Regardless of of others' opinions, it doesn't change the fact that going to space and playing in a tennis match are not the same. It's an anecdote from Sherr's book, but it's not appropriate for an encyclopedia article.
- I don't agree. It shows another side to Ride, and an appreciation of the risks, which were demonstrated in the Challenger disaster three years later. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:04, 17 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm happy to get another opinion on this, but I consider the inclusion of this quote and the Wimbledon comparison outside of GA-level standards. I understand what it is trying to convey, and I think saying something like "She privately voiced her concerns about her safety on the flight to Tyson" would be appropriate. But I think the direct quote and the comparison to a tennis match is unnecessary. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 12:29, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Regardless of of others' opinions, it doesn't change the fact that going to space and playing in a tennis match are not the same. It's an anecdote from Sherr's book, but it's not appropriate for an encyclopedia article.
- That was not the attitude of NASA at the time. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Is there more information about STS-7? What experiments/research was conducted? What did Ride take part in? There's a whole paragraph about the choice of her selection, but the only mention of her role in the mission that she operated the RMS.
- If you have a source then I can include it, but my sources do not have anything more. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Mention of first photograph of the orbiter in space
- Mention of other experiments conducted on STS-7
- Added more material on the flight, although I think it properly belongs in the mission article. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:04, 17 March 2022 (UTC)
- If you have a source then I can include it, but my sources do not have anything more. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Remove meeting Mickey Mouse; meeting a fictional Disney character is not on the same level as the California Governor and New York Mayor.
- Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Ride told Carolyn Huntoon that she thought that Savitskaya would have easily passed NASA's selection process." This doesn't merit mentioning; it seems like Ride was just praising her. It's not like Ride conducted an evaluation of her during their meeting.
- The point is that Savitskaya impressed her professionally as well as personally. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm sure Savitskaya was an impressive person, but I don't think Ride's assessment belongs, since it's not like she was evaluating her to join the US astronaut corps. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:35, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm sure Savitskaya was an impressive person, but I don't think Ride's assessment belongs, since it's not like she was evaluating her to join the US astronaut corps. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:35, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- The point is that Savitskaya impressed her professionally as well as personally. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "The mission also carried the first Shuttle pallet satellite (SPAS-1), which carried ten experiments to study formation of metal alloys in microgravity. Part of Ride's job was to operate the robot arm to deploy and later retrieve SPAS-1, which was brought back to Earth. The orbiter's small Reaction control system rockets were fired while SPAS-1 was held by the remote manipulator system to test the movement on an extended arm. The mission also studied Space adaptation syndrome, a bout of nausea frequently experienced by astronauts during the early phase of a space flight.[22][1] STS-7 was also the first occasion on which a photograph was taken of the Space Shuttle in orbit. Ride manipulated to robot arm into the shape of a "7", as it appeared on the mission patch.[23] Ride found that she was not affected by it and did not require medication for the syndrome.[2]: 180 Bad weather forced the Challenger to land at Edwards Air Force Base in California instead of the runways at KSC.[2]: 165 The mission lasted 6 days, 2 hours, 23 minutes and 59 seconds.[21]"
- Could someone take a look at rearranging this paragraph. It appears the sentence about Space Adaptation syndrome and manipulating the robot arm into a 7 should be swapped. Otherwise, currently the paragraph jumps back and forth and just feels awkward to read. Nikarus2370 (talk) 16:03, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
- Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:37, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
STS-41-G
[edit]- "Savitskaya beat them both when she flew in space" I'm assuming this means that Savitskaya beat them in becoming the first woman to fly in space twice and the first woman to conduct an EVA. But since the previous sentence refers to Ride and Sullivan as the first American women to do these things, it doesn't make sense that a cosmonaut beat them.
- Clarified. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Other than SIR-B deployment, did Ride do any other RMS work (e.g. on Sullivan's EVA)? Did she assist with Earth observation?
- If you have a source then I can include it, but my sources do not have anything more. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I think the 343 hours in space should be mentioned elsewhere, as it is cumulative for Ride's career. I think it should be mentioned when stating that she was leaving NASA, or at least start the sentence with "Between her two flights, Ride spent over..."
- Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
Cancelled mission
[edit]- There's no mention of a mission being cancelled in this section; the STS-61-M info should be moved up from the next section.
- Which missions did Ride as CapCom for? Since it is only two missions, they can be individually listed.
- Yes, they could be. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "She still performed her astronaut's spouse duties" Is this mostly just going to view the launch?
- A series of events. Didn't think it was very interesting. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- I would remove mention of it then if the individual events aren't that significant. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:50, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Okay, will add them then. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- I would remove mention of it then if the individual events aren't that significant. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:50, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- A series of events. Didn't think it was very interesting. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
Rogers Commission
[edit]- "which she co-wrote with Okie" I think Okie merits an explanation here, as the only mention of her is way earlier on the page, and that she was a high school friend of Ride's
- "They dedicated it to the memory of Mommaerts, their high school teacher" I don't think this needs to be included.
- Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
After NASA
[edit]- "Ride researched means by which nuclear warheads could be counted and verified from space, but the end of the Cold War made this much less of an issue." I don't think its accurate to downplay the significance of the US monitoring nuclear proliferation; it's not like the issue went away after the Soviet Union collapsed.
- "Instead, in 1989," Remove "Instead"
- Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "Ride joined Space.com in September 1999, but left in July 2000" What did she do for Space.com?
- Friends of mine thought they could strike it rich working for a dot com. I tried to make money buying up failed dot coms and selling their office furniture and equipment. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Is this a Ride quote? I'm assuming she didn't sell Space.com's equipment. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:39, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- I shortened the text, I don't think it it needs to be explained that Space.com is a dot-com company. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:42, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Friends of mine thought they could strike it rich working for a dot com. I tried to make money buying up failed dot coms and selling their office furniture and equipment. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
Death
[edit]- I added a "who" tag after "people." Was it random attendees, or reported, or O'Shaugnessy, etc. that noticed?
- Added "at the event" Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
Awards and honors
[edit]- I see another school named after Ride in Orlando. I would remove the "two elementary schools" portion, as that becomes incorrect if schools open/close/rename.
- Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
In popular culture
[edit]- When was the Hadfield/Coleman performance/music release?
- It was in 2013. But I can't find a RS. Your assistance would be appreciated. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- The currently linked ref to The Daily Dot is the only link I can find between Ride On/Ride That Lightning and Sally Ride. Looking at the lyrics for Ride that Lightning, there's not a mention of Sally Ride/women in spaceflight; are we sure they're the same song/in tribute to Ride? Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:48, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Yes, I'm sure. Let them tell you themselves. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- If there isn't a WP:RS for it, should we maybe just remove it? While I think it is interesting that Hadfield and Coleman wrote this song, I wouldn't consider it a major event in popular culture to leave out. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 19:21, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- Yes, I'm sure. Let them tell you themselves. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:41, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- The currently linked ref to The Daily Dot is the only link I can find between Ride On/Ride That Lightning and Sally Ride. Looking at the lyrics for Ride that Lightning, there's not a mention of Sally Ride/women in spaceflight; are we sure they're the same song/in tribute to Ride? Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:48, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- It was in 2013. But I can't find a RS. Your assistance would be appreciated. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:31, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- Because another editor thought it was. Given that it reliably sourced, I am leaving it in. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:50, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
Okay, that is all I am doing. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- @Balon Greyjoy: Can we close this now? Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:08, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
- I'd like to come to a consensus on the Wimbledon sentence and associated quote. Would you like for me to open up a WP:3O for it? Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:25, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
- If that's all that is holding this article up, it has been removed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 08:09, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
- That was my last holdout. Happy to approve it! Balon Greyjoy (talk) 05:27, 12 April 2022 (UTC)
- If that's all that is holding this article up, it has been removed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 08:09, 11 April 2022 (UTC)